Surviving the Nicholson Boys (Re-write)

twenty-one : because of you

Song/title of the chapter: Because of You by Kelly Clarkson

"You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain."

***

My father walked towards me, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Aria, sweetheart. Come here."

I wasn't sure whether to hug or slap him. I did what my heart told me to.

I slapped him so hard that I was sure I would feel the pain the next morning. My father stumbled back, clutching his cheek. His eyes showed hurt, but I could see the understanding in them which made me even more angry.

"How dare you!" I screamed. "How fucking dare you show up here!"

"Aria," he stood up straighter, "honey, hear me out."

"Hear you out?" I scoffed and he nodded.

"Hear you out?" I asked again and he nodded again. "Are you fucking kidding me? What could possibly have to say? We were fine, Dad! We were happy! Then one day you just got up and left, and I never heard from again. Now, after fourteen years, when Mum's died, that's when you want to make a reappearance?"

He looked so hurt by my words that I would've actually felt bad if I wasn't so fucking angry.

A lady in a royal blue – yes, blue, not black – dress stepped out of the crowd of women once surrounding my father and grabbed his arm. "Let her calm down first, honey. She's not stable."

I raised an eyebrow. "And who the hell is she?"

I already knew the answer to my own question, but didn't want to hear the words come out of my own mouth. My dad looked too nervous to speak, so I said it for him. With tears in my eyes once again, I spoke. "Is she your wife?"

Dad hesitantly nodded, and I fell to the ground. I stared at the floor and breathed heavily. "Wife" was ringing over and over in my head. That was his wife. His wife that wasn't my mother.

I looked up at him. "Wife?" My voice trembled as I repeated the word. My father nodded and I started crying, no, sobbing. I sat there, blubbering like a small child.

"Aria, honey, I'm sorry." He pulled me into a tight hug. "I am so sorry for everything."

I pushed him away. "You're not sorry! If you were sorry, you would've came back! You would've called! You would've done something, but no. Fourteen fucking years of silence. You left me for fourteen years wondering what the hell happened to you, why you left, what we did wrong. Did we not make you happy enough?"

"You were my world, Aria!" He screamed and the room fell silent. His "wife" even looked shocked that he raised his voice.

"You were my everything!" He fell on his knees, too. "You were my little girl. My princess. I loved you so much. So fucking much, you didn't even know. I loved your mother. Oh God, that woman made me happy. You two were the things that kept me going everyday. I would go to work and come home, and see the smiles of the two most beautiful females on the planet."

"We were your everything?" I whispered and he nodded. "Then why'd you leave us? Why'd you leave your everything's behind and go find a new one?"

"Because I had to." He choked out.

"Why?"

He shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Why, Dad?" I demanded and was able to bring myself to my feet. "Why did you leave?"

He grabbed my hands and kept shaking his head. He opened his mouth multiple times to say something but nothing ever came out. Finally I looked around and grabbed a pen and napkin from a random table. I scribbled my number on it and threw it at him.

"Call me when you're ready to tell me the truth, because if you were wondering, I wasn't buying your bullshit." I hissed at him and stormed out of the funeral home, the Nicholson family close behind me.

I stood by the car the same way I did when we were first entering. I looked up at the sky and started crying...once again.

I really needed to stop telling myself that I had no more tears left to cry because everyone, including myself, knew that that wasn't true at all.

Karolina pulled me into a hug, and I tried to fight her off, but it was no use. I felt too weak. I wanted to be hugged but I wanted to be left alone.

To be honest, I didn't know what I wanted.

Everything was just happening so quickly. My mother's death. My father's sudden reappearance. Everything. I hadn't been in LA for two weeks yet and already I wanted to go back home.

Except I had no one to go back to.

***

I had been lying on my bed for four hours since we came home. My father hadn't called. None of the boys had bothered me. Nothing had happened. It was quiet. Uneasily quiet, but quiet.

My phone rung and I carelessly answered without picking up. I sniffed and pushed some of my hair out of my face. "Hello?"

"Aria."

I sat up. "James?"

"Hey," he let out a breath, "how was the reunion with your dad?"

"You knew?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, "when he came back to Winnipeg he asked me what had happened to your and your mother. I told him that your mum had died and that you moved to LA with some lady. I don't know what he did after that."

"Well he showed up to my mother's funeral along with the rest of my so-called family and things just kinda...they kinda fucked up."

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "I really am about everything. About your parents, about the move, about me being a total ass. I'm so sorry, Aria."

"I know." I said. "I know you're sorry. It doesn't mean I forgive you, but I know you're sorry."

"That's good enough for me." He chuckled. "Hey um, I know this probably isn't a good time, but could you do me the biggest favour?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Could you come pick me up from the airport?"