Those Five Words

14.

Chapter 14

AMAR POV

We are half way through stage two of training. Stage two is the hardest to watch. It rubs you raw after watching the initiates face their fears. Although some days you will get a laugh but not enough to forget what you have been witnessing all day. I think this will be my last year training initiates, I have had enough. I am really hoping that Four will want to take over my position. I have seen him training Shauna and he did a great job.

I know Max wants Four for a leadership role but he could handle that and training the initiates. He is a thinker and we don't have many like that in Dauntless. I know he will be ranked first so he will have the choice of whatever he wants when it comes to a job. I sometimes wonder if he even wants to be a leader. I know he would be a great leader but I'm not sure that is what he wants to do. It feels like if he did take the position he would be doing it for Max not himself. I hope that's not the case, he needs to remember to do it for himself.

I haven't been watching what has been happening on the screen to lost in my own thoughts. It doesn't matter really, Eric is in here and he is the last for today. It won't take long, Eric never does. Sometimes I wonder if he is divergent, the way he can calm himself in the simulation, he might not manipulate what is happening but the way he acts in there, the way he can control his breathing, the way he just faces the fear head on and doesn't move while it is happening. This makes me believe that he could be divergent but without any manipulating I can't be sure. Maybe he is just that cold and lifeless, he's not one you can warm up too easily if at all.

I know all Eric really wants to do is to rank first and become a leader. He has made that very clear to anyone that will listen. Problem is that there is one person who is standing in his way. It will be interesting to see how he reacts when he finds himself ranked second. There is no way he will beat Four. Eric was almost useless with a knife and while he is a good shot he is not consistent. He doesn't have the focus that Four has. He doesn't respect the training he has been given. He thinks that fighting was the most important part of stage one. Fighting is such a small part of the training process. It didn't help that his team lost at capture the flag. Or that it was his strategy that had caused his team to lose. He is a loose cannon and if I could have him guarding the fence for the rest of his life then I would.

FOUR POV

Last day of initiation today, finally. I am the last of the Dauntless-born to go through because I am ranked first. Amar told me that he thinks I will rank first after we finish today. I hope so. Amar also told me that he wants to step down from training the initiates. He would like to move on to training the Dauntless guards, it is an all year round job and he wouldn't have to deal with transfers anymore. He thinks I would make a good trainer, he saw how I helped Shauna with her fighting technique. I hadn't really thought about it, I did enjoy training Shauna. But I have to think of the transfers we may get. I might not have to train transfers; I might actually get the Dauntless-born initiates. It could be fun either way, a break from whatever job I choose.

Dad wants me to go into leadership with him. I don't have a problem with being a leader, dad does such a good job that it would be great to work with him. Especially now we won't be living in the same apartment. Plus it means I would get an apartment in the leadership wing. It would be a down grade from what I am use to if I choose differently. I still have reservations though; Marcus is still leader of Abnegation. Marcus still haunts my dreams at night and is ever present in my fears. I don't know if I'm ready to face him in reality. I have a lot to think about between now and job choosing, I hope I get a chance to talk to dad about it beforehand.