I Love You

I Love You 5

So sorry for the delay, this chapter didn't come easily. I knew what I want to happen but not how to write it. I hope it was worth the wait....
C.J xx

Arriving at the E.D, Grace had gone in search of Jacob leaving Connie to get changed out of her running clothes. Alone with her thoughts Connie's mind began to wonder. Now that they didn't have to hide anymore, how would her and Jacob's relationship stand up to the scrutiny of their colleagues, would the outside world effect them. Would Jacob get bored of the simplicity of family life without the excitement of sneaking around, would it be enough for him.
Shaking her head, Connie tried to dislodge the negative thoughts that threatened to swallow up all the good that had happened today but it just came to easily to her. When ever it came to the personal, to matters of the heart she lost all confidence, she couldn't understand why Grace chose to stay with her, after everything she'd put her through or why Jacob had waited. She'd treated him so badly, pushed him away and yet he was there waiting for her with open arms months later when she was ready. What she'd done to deserve such loyalty she didn't know but what she did know was that she was going to grab it with both hands, accept their love for her and give it in return.
She knew she was changing, the drive that she once had to climb the career ladder had dissipated, finding satisfaction in the simple things and wanting to spend less time with her head buried in paperwork. Between them, Jacob and Grace had shown her a different way of life full of joy, a life she had never really experienced growing up.
Making her way through the hospital to her meeting Connie realised then that maybe her heart wasn't in this anymore, this pandering to the higher powers, stroking egos and spending less and less time treating patients.
She had happiness in her life now, she had her daughter and she had Jacob, everything else paled in comparison, everything else seemed unimportant. A fleeting idea crossed her mind and she nearly choked when she found herself considering it. Composing herself she gave it more thought, this time it was less surprising, in fact the longer she thought the less outrageous her idea was.
"Ah...Mrs Beauchamp...nice of you to finally join us." Came Hanssen's insincere greeting. Right then Connie knew she'd have the last laugh walking out of this meeting.

Walking out onto the car park the most wonderful sight greeted her, Grace had her arms wrapped around Jacob's waist clearly happy with something he'd said. It amazed her how well the pair had taken to each other, although Jacob seemed to have a knack with kids in general. She'd over heard a conversation the other week about how sweet he'd been with Dylan's sister, a natural nappy changer apparently, something she'd have to keep in mind.
Grace's bright smile warmed her heart, it made her feel light. "What's going on here then." She asked with an amused grin.
"Mum!" Grace exclaimed dashing towards her. "Jacob said if it was ok with you...I could leave with him while you finish work...we're going to cook you a meal...I wanted to do something nice for you...because I'm sorry I made you so upset this morning." She explained.
Connie shuck her head dismissing her daughter's worries. "Grace...sweetie, you have nothing to be sorry for...okay?"
"Okay..." she agreed. "...but I still want to hang out with Jacob..." standing on her tip toes Grace whispered. "...Jacob's got a surprise for you."
"Oh has he..." Connie smiled at Jacob over Grace's head. "...and what if I told you I was planning on leaving work early."
Jacob wrapped his arms around both girls. "I'd say that would be great...you could go take a relaxing soak while me and Grace make dinner."
"Right then...sounds like a plan..." smiled Connie accepting a kiss from Jacob before pulling away. "...I'd better get on...see you in my office when your ready?" Jacob gave her a nod. "Come on Grace you've got homework to do." She added leading her daughter back inside.

Connie laid in the bath, happily relaxing, basking in the contentment she felt. The small box sat on the side of the sink kept drawing her attention. For such a small box it held a great amount of weight, of responsibility and trepidation, but most of all, hope. For two days that same box had lived in the bottom of her handbag, ready to put an end to the niggling suspicion Connie had been carrying for the last week but not really willing to acknowledge yet. Yes, this was something that she wanted, it was something that Jacob said he wanted but that same question kept replaying in her mind. Why on earth did this kind, caring and sweet man want her? Connie Beauchamp, well know for being harsh, for being the ice queen.
Climbing out of the bath she wrapped herself in her towel and picked up the box, toying with it, flipping it over in her hands, turning it around and around nervously. Reading the instructions then rereading them, not that she needed to, she knew how they worked. She was stalling, putting off the inevitable. And it was inevitable, she knew what the test would say, all the other symptoms were there, missed period, sore nipples and now this morning throwing up in the sink. Six weeks since her and Jacob first had unprotected sex, two months since her last period, the test was just a formality.

Freshly dried and dressed after her bath in comfy leggings and one of Jacob's t-shirts she sat on the edge of her bed glaring at the pregnancy test face down on her side table.
"Mum..." Connie's head whipped round, startled as Grace came barging through her door. "...Jacob said dinners ready in...ten...what's that?" She asked with a frown.
Connie looked back to the test then back at Grace, remembering her plea only a few hours before, no more lies. "It's a pregnancy test sweetie...I think I might be-" "You mean you haven't looked yet?" Grace quizzed coming over for a closer look.
"It just makes it very real..." Connie started feeling unsure. "...at the minute I just think I might be...I turn that over...I'm definitely am or definitely not."
"Can I look?" Wondered Grace leaning on the table.
"Aren't you angry?" Asked Connie a little perplexed, she felt certain it would be unwelcome news for Grace.
"No...this is cool...a baby brother or sister..." beamed Grace. "...I'll be able to help won't I?"
"Of cause..." Connie smiled back at her. "...do you want to tell me want it says?" She offered as her nervous butterflies fluttered around in her stomach yet again.
She watched as her excited daughter eagerly flipped over the test and moved in for a closer inspection. "Five to six weeks..." she read out unsure of what she was seeing. "What does that mean?"
Tears welled in Connie's eyes, it's seemed like all she'd done today is cry. "It means that in about thirty four weeks you'll have that bother or sister you wanted."
"Wow...are you sad?" Asked Grace sitting beside her mum.
"No...I'm not sad...I'm happy...and shocked...and a little scared..." Connie took hold of Grace's hand. "...do you think we could keep this between us for now?"
"Ok...don't you think Jacob will be happy?" Pondered Grace, trying work out her mum's reluctance.
"It's not that...I'd just like for the news to sink in first...that's all." Connie tried to reassure her with a small smile.
"Anything you need." Agreed Grace happily.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur for Connie, she was completely engrossed watching Jacob and Grace interact. They got on so well, they made quite a team. She was certain that if the pair ever decided to gang up on her she wouldn't stand a chance. The way they bounced off each other, the way they both pleaded with her for one more game on the computer before Grace went to bed, it seemed pointless to even try to disagree.

"So..."said Jacob pulling her into his side. "...are you going to tell me what's been playing on your mind?"
He never ceases to amaze her, he knew her all to well. "It's nothing to worry about...I just wanted to wait for Grace to go to bed...so we could talk properly." She explained.
"You've not changed your mind I hope." Worried Jacob.
"No never..." Connie told him then placed a gently kiss on his lips.
Digging deep into his jeans pocket Jacob pulled out a small black box. "Good... because I wanted to give you this...I figured now there's no need to hide..." he opened the lid to reveal a intricate white gold ring.
Connie let out a gasp. "Jacob...it's beautiful..." watching as he took hold of her shaking left hand, sliding it on before kissing her knuckles. "Thank you...it must have cost a fortune...you shouldn't have gone crazy." She told him as she noted all the small diamonds set around one large stone in the centre, it was perfect.
"Your worth every penny sweet cheeks..." He said stroking a lock of hair behind her ear. "...so what did you want to talk about?"
Connie took a breath to steady herself, to try and subdue the doubt lingering in the back of her mind. She knew I was ridiculous, the fear she felt. Jacob loved her, that was the one thing she was sure of, but what if it's to soon, what if a baby complicates things to much, what if they can't cope with the added pressure. What if...
"Con..." he lifted her chin so he could see her face. "You can tell me anything, you know that surely."
For some reason she just couldn't do it, maybe she just hadn't accepted it yet, maybe she wasn't entirely sure it's what he wanted, the thought that he'd agree to anything if it made her happy had crossed her mind.
Instead she chose to share her other news. "I've told Hanssen he needs to find a new clinical lead, I've given him two weeks notice."
"I'm not following..." frowned Jacob. "...You've done what?"
"I'm stepping down...I fed up of being stuck in meetings-" "I thought you loved that job?" Interrupted Jacob.
"Well maybe I didn't love it as much as I thought..." She protested. Panic began to set in, this wasn't the reaction she was expecting. "...I thought you'd be happy-" "I am...this is good...as long as it's what you want...I don't want you changing because you think it's something I want...I love you Connie and all I want is for you to be happy..." Jacob looked down at his hands considering his next words. "...so what does it mean...do we still get to work together...are you job hunting?"
Relief washed over Connie when she realized Jacob's hesitation came from, he thought they wouldn't be working together anymore, that she'd have to move to a different hospital or department. "I'm not going anywhere... I'll be staying in the E.D."
A slow smile crept onto Jacob's face. "That's even better news."