Anxious

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I was diagnosed with severe anxiety when I was five.

I had my first panic attack when we had an assembly.

I remember passing out when people crowded around me.
pretty strange right?

That outburst caused me to be the target of the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.
Daniella Griffith. Also known as my half sister's best friend.

My half sister and worst enemy, Victoria has never stuck up for me since I embarrass her or something.

We were born on the same day in the same year but she still treats me like she's got 50 years on me.

My mom is making me go to her school because of the anti bullying policies. But let's be real here. If Victoria and Dani are both gonna be there I'm going to get bullied.

Luckily for me my best friend is coming too.

"Let's go freak!"
I wish I could say something back.

To avoid my fear of fucking up anything I don't talk to anyone but the people I trust.
Those two people just so happen to be my mother and Parker.

I got ready and grabbed an apple. I put it in my mouth as I picked up my favorite book and ran into my dad.

"Hey." He said.
I nodded and tried to walk past him. He hugged me.
Usually I'd reject hugs but I'm going to college. It makes sense.
"Stay safe."

I couldn't say bye to my mom because she was working so I wrote a note and slid it under the door.

I saw my half sister hugging our dad and heard her ask.
"Does she really have to go with me?"

Ouch.
I walked over and wrote. 'I could go by myself.

"No. You don't know where it is." He said.

'You could send me the address. And I could just drive. Cause I'm obviously not welcome in a car with the princess over there.

"You're taking her." He said to her. She groaned and I rolled my eyes.

"Let's go."
I walked out and sat in the passengers seat. I put my headphones in and played any music to tune out the dragon lady.

The drive was long so I reread go set a watchman.
I heard something come out of her mouth but I didn't pay attention.

Finally the car stopped and I got out quickly.
She went to her little friend group and I tried getting my stuff out of the trunk.

I felt someone's arms around me and I jumped.

"Hey you." The voice settled me. I knew who this was. Parker.
I relaxed under his touch.

"Hi." My voice came out faintly.

"There's the voice." He smiled at me. "Here. Let me help you."

"Thanks." I said and smiled back a little. I don't know who was looking at me. But i felt their eyes on me. They're judging me.
They all are.
I gotta hide.
"Can we go now please?"

"Sure. Where's your dorm?" He asked as we walked away.
I saw Daniella and Victoria walking towards us.

Dani rammed me into the wall causing me to drop everything.

I hate myself for liking her so much. She smiled at the dragon lady and they walked away.

"Don't you have eyes?" A short blonde said in her direction. "Geez. I'm sorry that happened." She helped me pick up my stuff.

I tried to say something but I don't know her. But she helped me. But-

"It's not your fault." Parker said rudely interrupting my internal conflict.
She looked confused.
Oh god, what's he gonna say?
"I'm Parker and this is Alexandra."
I hit his arm.
"Ouch." He grabbed his arm. "Allie. This is Allie."

"Nice to meet you two, I'm Lila."

"Likewise." He said.
We stood quietly for a few seconds.
"Allie has selective mutism." He blurted out.
that's a way to explain it. But one small tiny problem. I DONT!

Lila nodded her head with an "oh. That makes sense."
I nodded with her and we stopped.

"Nice meeting you Lila." He said and we went to my dorm.
I unlocked the door and set my bags on the bed I was gonna sleep in.

Parker helped me organize everything and unpack.

"Thanks for helping me."

"Of course." He said hugging me tightly. I hugged him back.
"A hug? From Alexandra hall? It must be Christmas!" He joked.

"Fuck off." I said and smiled.

"I'll see you later? Text me?"

"Yeah." I said and he kissed my cheek before walking out.

After rearranging my skateboard rack and my prints, I pulled my shirt over my head and someone walked in.

"Surprise surprise. " A beautiful girl said. Her long black hair fell past her shoulders and her light brown eyes stared right into my soul. Did I mention that she's beautiful? Because wow.

I tried to fake a laugh and it came out a little.

One two three...

"So how much does it cost for someone special baby?"
I thought about it and held up both of my hands.
"Only ten?"
I gestured wider.
"ten thousand. I got you."

I nodded and she walked up to me.

Four five six seven....

"You're cute." She touched my nose which caused me to blush.
"I'm kordasia. But. Call me kori." She held out her hand and I shook it.
"You don't talk?"

Eight nine ten eleven twelve...

I shook my head and picked up a journal.
'I'm Allie. And I have selective mutism. I'm not a good liar. But I think I'll be okay.

"Oooooh."

'I get that a lot.
She read it and chuckled.

"So. You're cute, fit, artistic, and can ride a skateboard. Can you cook?"

'little bit.

"I know it's sudden but will you marry me?" She got down on one knee. I smiled a little and just nodded my head.
"Yay! I've got a wifey!"

'I've got a wifey!
She smiled at me.
'Do you need any help unpacking?

"No. I'm already moved in. I just have to hang some stuff up."
I nodded.

thirteen fourteen fifteen. Okay. She doesn't hate you yet. Don't screw this up.