Anxious

\13

I squealed a little and grabbed the bottle. He put me down.

"This party is dead so I'm gonna go back." He said.

"You're not leaving for break?"

"Nope."

"Me either."

"Then we can hang out. I'll see you soon right?"
I nodded and he kissed my cheek before leaving.

I went up to the bathroom and while I was about to leave Dani walked in.
She started kissing my neck and playing with the hem of my dress.

"Dani." I said.

"What baby?" She picked me up and wrapped my legs around her.

"I don't think I'm ready for this."

"Come on baby. You're so ready. She reached for her own pants and I jumped down.

"I'm not. I can't. Do this."

"You trust me babygirl?"

"Nnnno.." She undid my bra somehow.
"I can't!" She growled and raised her fist. I gotta get out now.
I ran out and bumped into someone.

"Hey. You alright?" Victoria?
I shook my head.
"We'll talk about what happened tomorrow." We walked into one of the bedrooms and noticed Dani left the bathroom. She growled and started kissing the first girl she saw.

Tears rolled down my face and Victoria walked me back to campus.
We walked into her room and she held out clothes for me. I changed and we sat on her bed.

"I don't hate you."
I scoffed through my tears. Im not an idiot.
"Hey. Listen. I thought dad left my mom for yours. And when we moved in with you two. I don't know. I was just mad. I took out this anger on the first person I could. The person who can't defend them self. You. And. I'm so sorry for all of the shit I've put you through. I've been so awful to you and I know this is stupid coming from me but I don't want to be alone anymore. I need a friendship that lasts a lifetime. I need my sister." She was tearing up herself. "I need y-"

I cut her off by pulling her into a hug.
"I forgive you." I whispered and we fell asleep in our hug.
We woke up to a knock on the door.

Victoria opened it and I heard Kori's voice.

"Okay. Where is she?"

"Who? Allie?"

"Dani is worried sick about her."

"Al." Victoria said to me. I walked over and Kori hugged me.

"You okay? Why're you here?"

"Fine." I said. "Made. Up."

"You two made up?" Kori asked with her hands over her mouth. Victoria wrapped her arm around my waist.

"I have a sister again." She said and I laid my head on her shoulder.

"Yeah."

"Come on. We have to see Dani."

"No."

"No? Why?"

"She." I started. "Tttried- rape. Me. And hhhhit me"

"SHE DID WHAT?!" The two yelled.

"Shh. Drunk."

"It doesn't matter if she was drunk or not. She tried to rape you! That's not okay." I pulled Kori inside.

"Stop yelling." I said to her. "Class."

"Here. At least change."
I put on Victoria's clothes and damn are we different.

I put my shoes back on. "Bye." I walked out and went to class.
Parker walked in and sat next to me.

"new clothes?"

'Not mine.

"Whose are they?"

'None of your business.

"Allie. Are you still mad?"

'Mad? No.

"Then why are we like this?"

'Just because I said I wasn't mad doesn't mean I forgive you.

"What can I do?"

'Nothing.

"Allie.."

'Please just don't talk.
He nodded and sat back. Class was over and Lila walked up to me.

"I saw Dani with another girl.. Does this mean you're available?" She reached for my hand and I pulled it away.
I shook my head and started walking.
"Hey! She cheated on you and you're still with her? You have no clue how good i would treat you if I were in her shoes. I'd always be faithful and listen to you. I'd make you feel so good."

I pushed her away and walked off. I felt someone grab my wrist and I saw my girlfriend with tears in her eyes.

"Allie. I'm. I'm so. I'm." She dropped to her knees and cried at my feet.
"I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk please believe me. I'm so sorry."

I made her stand up and wiped her tears. She touched her forehead with mine.

"I forgive you."
She leaned down to kiss me but I moved.
"But. I need time. And hopefully by the time you come back from thanksgiving break. We'll be okay."

"What're you saying?"
I took her to my room.

"I love you." I said to her.

"And I love you."

"I know you do. But. What you did to me.."

"Allie. Don't do this."

"I think we should take a break."

"Allie. It was a drunken mistake. I love you. Please don't make this happen." She started to tear up.

"Dani. If you were in my situation. You would know that this was more than just a drunken mistake."

"That girl meant absolutely nothing to me. I didn't even know her name."

"It wasn't just the girl."

"What else? What did I do that's causing you to be breaking my heart right now?"
I can't believe she doesn't think this is hard on me.
Should I tell her?
No. It's too hard to say.
"Well?!"

"YOU TRIED TO RAPE ME!" I yelled at her and I started crying too.