Anxious

\2

Kori and I laid on our beds and there was a knock on the door.

It was like the police coming in on a party.

"Can you get that wifey?"
I nodded and got the door.
To my surprise Dani was standing on the other side. 

I quickly moved before she could push me.
She walked in and pulled my roommate by the foot right off of her bed.

"Um ouch?" She projected.

"You said that you'd deal with him for me today."

Kori rolled her eyes and got up. She walked towards me first and pinched my cheek.
I was terrified but she didn't hurt me. She didn't make fun of me.
I can trust her... right?

"Yo!" Daniella shouted.
I jumped and scooted away from her.
"What's wrong with you?"
No response.
"Hello?!"

I walked to pick up the journal and wrote.
'Do you want something?

"I'm curious to why you're not talking to me."

'I have selective mutism. I don't talk to people I don't trust. Especially if said person made my life a living hell.

"You've gotta get over that. We were kids. It's different now."

'Really? Because earlier you pushed me into a wall and I dropped all of my stuff. I really don't think that's so different from when we were kids.

She seemed to grow frustrated with me.
"You don't know what you're talking about."

'Is that my problem or yours? Cause I know exactly what I'm talking about.

She grabbed my arm and... Panic.
Try counting! Try counting!
It's not working!
Everyone hates me!
I'm a freak!
Isolate yourself!

I started hyperventilating and I pushed her away. I ran into the closet closed the door and started crying.

"Hey..." Dani said and opened the door.
I looked up shaking with tears running down my face. I scooted backwards cautiously.
"I'm. Sorry."

Did Daniella Griffith just apologize?

I kept my head down and heard her leave for a second. There was a lot of mumbling.

"Where is she?" I heard kori ask but then the door closed again.
I heard her come back and inch closer to me.
She picked me up bridal style and carried me out.

My feet touched the floor and Parker walked in. I ran to him and hid my face against his chest. He hugged me tightly.

"Um. Thanks." He said to Daniella. "I can take it from here."

"I want to stay."

"For what?"

"To see if she's okay?"

"She won't be until you leave." He spat at her. I let go and slowly panicked when I started walking towards her.

I put my hand on her shoulder as a thank you and walked back into Parker's warm embrace.

"I'll be back." She said.

"Or not." Parker said and Dani rolled her eyes while leaving.

"I'm okay." I said.

"Okay." He let me go. "I really don't get what you see in her."
We chuckled.

"She's hot. Isn't that enough?"

"No. Not at all."

"Well I'm sorry mr. I've been with the same person for all of my life. Love doesn't come too easy when you can hardly be around people without having a panic attack."

"I'm not saying that's what you should do. I'm saying that Daniella Griffith is pure evil. You and I both know it."

"She's not so bad anymore."

"Excuse me?"

"She actually seemed worried about me. She picked me up with so much care. She-"

"Is the one who caused that panic attack."

"How did you know?"

"Your roommate ran up to me and told me everything."

"Where is she?"

"She went to go get food." He said.

"I want her to be my friend."

"Really?" He asked and I nodded. "That's huge."

"It is."
I haven't wanted a friend since Parker came into my life. And now I do. It's weird.
"I'm scared that I won't be able to do it."

"You'll be fine. She likes you right?"

"She calls me wifey. And she touched my face."

"You let someone touch your face?"
I nodded.
"She must really be special."

"I just want her to not hate me."

"It's impossible to hate you."
And with that Daniella walked back in.
"I should probably leave too. The smell of evil bitch is too strong."

"Look!" Daniella shouted and I scooted closer to Parker.
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again.
"Are you leaving or not?" She asked him.

He inhaled and started fake coughing.
"I'll be outside. The stench. Oh god." He fake coughed louder as he left the room.

"Gets on my nerves." I heard her whisper.
She made eye contact with me and leaned down. I could see her entire face and something seemed...Off?

She had a bruise under her eye but it looked like it was healing.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.
I shook my head.
"okay. My little sister used to have panic attacks a lot. And this helped her." She got closer to me. "I'm not gonna hurt you." She tried to reassure me as she inched closer and closer.

Next thing I knew she was behind me.
And her arms were wrapped around me. She rocked me and hummed somewhere only we know.

"Hey wi-" kori walked in. "I'll come back later." She walked back out and we stayed like this.

The humming stopped and so did the rocking.
Daniella fell asleep and I didn't know what to do.

There's only one thing to do.

But what if when she wakes up?
I'm too tired to worry.

I turned so I was facing her and wrapped my arms around her.
She readjusted to my movement and we went to sleep.