I'm Not Going Anywhere

Chapter 11

I woke up to an arm around me. I looked to see it was Nikki. This hotel bed it comfortable but Nikki isn't. I moved her away and tried to get comfortable again.

It's been two weeks since everything happened. We missed three shows because the guys were still recovering but now they're great. We had our show last night and it went fantastic! It was so much fun and I was so happy to be back up on stage with my crew.

I grabbed my phone and put my earphones in to listen to my music. I also started to check my stuff. I have another miss call and text from Jay.

I've been avoiding him since the whole thing went down. I'm too embarrassed to talk to him. I feel like he'll be disgusted with me. As much as I want to hear his voice I've just been sending quick texts here and there, telling him I'm busy with performances and practice. Which isn't a complete lie, I've been dancing like crazy to get my mind off of things.

Hey Baby, I know you're in Sacramento right now. I was wondering when are you going to be back home. I'm sending your birthday gift a lil early

My birthday isn't for another three weeks. Why so early?

I should be home in the next day or two, we're gonna take our time here

I need time away from L.A. I feel suffocated there and I need to breathe.

Nikki, Martin, and I went out shopping. The reason why I'm not with Jenny today is because she's with Cameron, and I'm glad they're spending some time together. Nikki saw a make-up store and got excited so we went in.

I need some new stuff too so I went looking around. While Nikki was off trying different shades of blushes on, Martin was following me. I didn't have to directly look at him to know that he was staring at me. I stopped and turned to face him. He was a little shocked but played it off with a smile. "You know I can feel your eyes on the back of my head?" "Sorry. It's just-" I raised an eyebrow.

"I just wanted to make sure you're still you."

"Huh?"

He dropped his smile. "Look Kai, ever since that night, everyone thinks it changed you. And I'm starting to believe them."

"I'm-fine." When I tried to spit that out he shook his head. Even I don't believe myself. "You're not Kai. You're not as happy and smiling as you used to be. I know it has a lot to with that night, and with Jenny and Cam dating, and Jay being far away? You must feel alone." I rolled my eyes. I don't care that Jenny and Cam are together, I'm more than happy for them. But I will be honest I've always been on edge since that night. And with Jay wanting to see me, it makes it worst.

"Trust me Martin, that's not it."

"Then what it is Kai? Let me help you." He tried to grab my hand but I snatched it away and walked out. He's already on my nerves.

I heard him call for me but I kept walking back to the hotel. I know I'm not the same. I just feel-gross. I feel like that everytime someone looks at me they think I'm disgusting. Even with my family, I feel like they're disappointed with me. Suddenly I slammed into someone. I fell on the ground.

"Oh shit Baby I'm sorry!"

That voice...I looked up to see Jay.

"Jay?!"

"Hey. Here let me help you up."

He reached for me but I picked myself up and backed away. What is he doing here?

Jay's POV

Kai doesn't know but I came out to Sacramento to surprise her. I finally figured out what hotel she was at but the lady at the front desk was giving me a hard time. So where is-there is she is! I saw her walking out the building with Nikki and Martin. I don't want to just walk up to her, that'll be lame. I headed out the building and stayed behind but not too far so I can still see them.