The Darkest Bliss

Chapter Eight

The bus have arrived, while everyone was busy loading their luggage and booking seats at the window side, I caught sight of Mel staring passionately at something that I once used to stare at. "MATT"
'Hello girlfriend' I greeted to which she reacted with shock. She seemed nervous, distant and hideous. I knew she had been acting weird lately but I never want to provoke people into sharing with me something: anything.
"Everyone yes, five mins and we will move" announces the macho man, Prof. Richard butler, HOD of Phil depart. And prof. in charge of sports and games. He was well built, young looking comparitively to Man of forties.
We rushed and settled down in our respective seats and listened to the Do's and dont's. As the engine started I put my head phone on and played 'Something to think' by Fiona on repeat.
"Do you believe in love? " Mel questions almost leaving me speechless.
"Sorry what? " I ask as I was unsure if I had heard the right thing.
"Do you believe in love? "She repeats for me.
That was definitely unexpected, also coming form Mel was something to ponder upon.
"There is nothing more believable than believing in Love. " I answer with a smile on my face.
"Then why do you always get hurt when you love people? Why do you always lose the people you love? " I knew exaCtly what she meant but I pretended like I understood it as any other usual question.
"Love does not hurt, people I loved weren't placed in my life at the right time. Or let's say the people I loved at the right time weren't the right people. Maybe that is why God keep pushing me harder, and it is those jerks that hurt me, not Love exactly." I didn't know if she understood but I was satisfied with my answer.
"Your life story in whole scares me. Don't get me wrong but I don't really wanna be in love if I'd end up somewhere you are right now"
I was disappointed at what she felt about the whole thing i was going through as she was part of my life. Was I being a bad influence? Do I care?
"Mel, where do you think i am right now?"
"Some place you don't wanna be. Full of dark and no light at all" she replies now in whispers.
"I'm... Mel have I ever cried so much in front of you? No. The pain you think you see in me isn't even half of what I actually feel. And the irony is, the Dark you are mentioning is the light for so many people like you. I'm not broken, nor am I solidly fixed. But I'm not disappointed as much as you are disappointed being my friend." I tell her as I move to shift at the back seat. I wasn't angry but I didn't wanna break down in front of someone who knew so less of me.

Sun was shining brightly at the light green leaves and over the pears. There was wooden bridges built to fit one person at once, and below that flowed water of hope.
We were allotted rooms, one for boys and one for girls. Crushing my pleasant mood as I will have to fit in with people I'm completely not friends with. Mel whom I thought was my best friend had also become half stranger an hour ago.
"Can I share the corner bed with you? " Grace asks as she dry her fresh washed hair.
"Sure Grey" I say without looking up as I was busy unpacking.

We were seven of us in the room but No one actually conversing. The room was filled with giggles from reading text messages, and then there was nothing, just silence and uneasiness.
I decided to take a walk alone and maybe talk to the stars or to the mighty Moon.

"You don't understand. We can't be what you want us to be. Baby this is not the right time and place to crack the news."
I overhear a familiar male voice.
Forgetting my manners I peeped through some gaps from bushes that was well curved and grown in the sideways.
"But I can't watch you doing all the things you do with that girl. I can't pretend like I don't know you" replies Mel.
I wasn't hurt, my head went blank.
Mel and Matt. Impossible? Possible.

"You don't wanna be caught peeping at people arguing" Rusk interrupts.
I hugged him so tight unable to take in the dust I was breathing lately.
He walks me to a nearby bench and helps me calm down.
"Whats wrong? " he demanded, sounded rather upset then concerned.
"I want to go home Rusk. I can't do this anymore"
I reply as I try to control my sobs.
"Why? Because you can't stand watching Matt with some other girl. Or is it because you are tired of being the one getting hurt. Who's hurting you now? Am I not doing enough? " Rusk says unable to prolong his pent up complaints.
I wasn't ready for yet another heartbreak. Nor was I ready to explain anything to anyone.
"I can't go on like this, because all I do is love you and all you do is keep digging and dragging things of your past. You are The reason why you are getting hurt" he said, irritated because I was dumb as dumb.
"I didn't force you into this Rusk and I don't need anyone to help me move on. You need rest, you keep going" I said not wanting to sound desperate or emotionally unstable.
He stands up to walk away, leaving me alone in the Dark like every one else.
"Goodnight" he says.

I sat there sobbing until my body went dry and my mind stopped thinking. Who was I crying for? Matt, for breaking my heart all the time.
Mel, for falling in love for the first time with My ex.
Adele, for being the official girlfriend of My ex.
Rusk, for losing hope when all I needed was him to be strong for me.
Grace, for being the beauty goddess.
Mom, for dying before I could hurt her.
Or
Dad, for never wanting to see me.

"But sometimes it is not anyone's fight but yourself. You may win or lose alone, but with someone, both be immune."

😊After a long. I hope you keep reading.