Sadness Hotel | Uncompleted

one

"For Him." (Written for someone else.)

A manipulating word that tricks us. It is such a powerful word that has such a great meaning yet it ruins us. Its meaning has disappeared and it's just thrown around now. It can hide a lie so well. So, when you say the sentence, "I LOVE you," I'm sorry but I honestly can't believe you because I've been told this multiple times and it feels like you don't love me/ you never actually loved me. And our love was like this. Was it even love? It was in a way but it was just one sided. I was blinded by all the lies you told me and always thought they were the truth. So when you said, "I love you," I wish I would have known you were lying. Every time I heard you say those beautiful yet deceiving words, I fell even deeper for you but I ended up falling in a hole that I can't seem to climb out of. And a question that's always on my mind is, if I hate everything about you, why do I still love you? Sometimes, I did have doubts about you but it's just that feeling of wanting to see light in someone who's complete darkness. That's the feeling that consumed me. That's the feeling that messed me up and it always does. And it doesn't help that you fucked me up even more. So, here I am... still trying to figure out what real love is.