"I'm Fine"

Tired of people

I'm so fucking tired of y'alls bull shit ok. People are like
"Let's be friends or something more right" and we'll talk and be in the middle something and they'll leave.

Do you understand this makes me feel worthless and like someone is ripping my face up then tearing out my teeth with acid .

Are you soulless!!????
Seriously are you because I'm tired of keep a doll face and acting like in ok with everything.

You wanna know my plans for the future .

When I was younger my plan was get a lacrosse scholarship to the US Naval Academy and study there and then become a Naval Physician. Meet a nice guy or girl and get married then have two or three kids (maybe more depending on the person) and have the older ones boys and then a little girl. Retire at the age of 45 then work in a hospital and retire from that at the age of 60 and live with my husband in a nice place till I die with him.

Now my plans for the future are..

Finish high school go to nova and then George Mason then become a missionary and also become either a nurse or a nurse practitioner. Go on mission trip and get killed by a disease or some violence or something
OR!!!!!
While I'm a missionary come back to my church and work from there then meet a guy that looks really sweet and nice and then get married then he'll completely change and he'll start beating me and one day I'll get raped possibly by his friends and become so depressed and worthless that I "get in a car accident" and die.

KNOWING THAT IM A PIECE OF FAGGOT CRAP PUT ON THIS EARTH ONLY TO GIVE PLEASURE TO PEOPLE.

Because seriously who gives a shit about me.

My younger sister tells me to kill myself everyday and insults me so much.

My older sister used to make time for me but now she's off with people.

My mother is so verbally abusive that I hate going near her. And when I told my councilor she called me a liar and said that she was the most supportive woman ever. ~words of my therapist~ and then she is off with her bf and his kids. She's even ditching us so she can go to the beach with him in his kids for a week while we stay with my grandma.

I get reminded how I shouldn't be depressed because I'm a white girl in America.

Seriously j shouldn't be I know but I feel I am allowed to feel this way.

Now everyone is voicing there opinion so much that I hardly know what I should feel and what I actually feel.

My mom believes that I don't cut anymore cuz my arms are not bloodily.

I'd love to see her face when she finds I'm dead from cutting my thighs to deep and ODing.

Alright well let's see if I'll be ok tonight.

Good night empty worthless void that doesn't give a crap about the people under there nose that are suffering

Oh sorry I can't suffer I'm a WHITE FEMALE IN AMERICA