Letters To No One

Letter #11: Friendship at its Purest

Before I say anything else I want to say I love you, man. I fucking love you. You've been there for me through almost everything. You're the person I cry with, you're the person I share everything with, you're the person I hold closest to me.
I know it's tough to go on the way we do. The pain and suffering we endure for no reason. That's one of the reasons we get along so well, we understand each other's pain.
I saw the posts today, and I didn't think twice, and for that I'm the most sorry. There's no excuse for ignoring your cries for help. Well, not ignoring, looking past them. And I'm sorry.
I didn't think anything would happen, but when you didn't show up to work today that's when I knew something was wrong. I worked quicker and harder than I've ever worked before, because all I could think about was that knife. The knife that holds a single drop of our blood. The knife that binds us in pitiful agony and pain. The knife that creates the scars that we wear like shameful tattoos.
You didn't use it did you?
The second I got off my shift I was dialing your number in my phone. I almost cried with relief when you answered.
I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me. And I'm sorry that you are hurting. I'm sorry that your dreams can never be. And I'm sorry that, like me, you were chosen to bear this burden.
But let me tell you. In this life and in another, wherever you are, whenever you cry I'll be there. I'll be ready to hold you, and to comfort you. I'll be ready to sing you to sleep, and to tell you stories of faraway places until the sun comes up again and the monsters hide. I'll never leave you, because I love you, man. I fucking love you. You're my best friend and my other half. You're my reason for pushing on when the mountain just keeps getting taller. You make my life that much better. So don't leave me. Don't you dare be that selfish. You know, and I know, we're in this together. And this isn't a game. This is life. And me and you, we're going to survive this thing. This horribly pure, this terribly wonderful, this disgustingly beautiful thing called life. I believe in you.