I'm sorry that I'm not what you've always dreamed of. I'm sorry that I'm not the perfect little girl you thought you were getting. I'm sorry that the way I choose to dress and the way I choose to look doesn't fit the perfect mold that you've created for me.
But you know what? I will never change the person I am because you can't accept it. I see the way you look at me when I look at her, and I see the way you roll your eyes when I talk about the changes I want to make. Just because it makes you uncomfortable and unhappy doesn't mean that I am going to change the person I am to make you a bit more content.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I read those articles about teens getting kicked out because their parents can't accept them, and I've always thought that I was one of the lucky ones, but the truth is; I wish you'd just bite the bullet and kick me out, because living in an oppressive home where I am nothing but depressed and anxious all the time is about a thousand times worse than living on my own.
I disgust you. I don't remember the last time you gave me a compliment. All you do is yell and tell me what a horrible child I am. I hope you know that all those times you told me how fat I was getting, or how big my stomach is, they're finally getting to me. I didn't eat yesterday, I still haven't eaten today. When I'm gone you're not going to care, you may regret the things you let me do, but when I come home happier than ever looking exactly the way I want to you'll hate me even more.
So fuck you. And fuck your stupid idea of normalcy, because I will never be normal, and I will never be you.
YOU ARE READING
Letters To No One
Non-FictionA collection of letters I've written that will never be claimed and never leave the safety of my journal.
