TRIGGER WARNING, this is a darker imagine so do be aware, if u are triggered by depression and suicidal thoughts.
Start imagine⤵️
Each day passes by, I take another step down, slowly reaching the bottom.
A stair case is how I best describe the horrible thing named depression.
Everyone starts at the top of this spiralling stair case and most people can stay there.
others aren't as fortunate, they have no control over it, no control over their legs that are now moving them down the old wooden steps to maybe one day reach the bottom. Sometimes people will have the will power to make it back to the top and have a second chance at life.
There is no in between There are only two ways out of depression, you make it back or you don't come back at all.
There is a door at the top of the stairs labelled door 1, the door of life. Then a door at the bottom of the stair case labelled door 2, the door of death.
Which door will I reach?
Ethan is the only thing that has caused me to not have reached that second door yet, but I don't know if he's enough to keep me from the sweet release of death.
He's lovely and caring and loves me to the moon and back, he tries to help me but you can only help somebody who wants to be helped.
At first I did want to be helped but it's all gotten too much I'm internally drowning My thoughts and feelings are swallowing me up before I can catch a breath.
It's like I'm being tortured by my own mind.
Don't get me wrong I love Ethan dearly but he shouldn't have to deal with this. He shouldn't have to deal with me.
He deserves better, much better; why love a broken toy when u could love a new one just as much.
All the things that I could love in this world just don't seem worth loving except for him but sometimes you just let go of the things you love so that they can have a better life and better things to love.
The final step is upon me and my foot is hovering over the black obis that is death. I need to go and let go.
I need to go through the the door so I leap and at last I feel a bitter sweet release, I feel free and graceful. I am no longer being crushed by the weight of my pondering mind and gasping for air by my overwhelming emotions.
Heaven will be my resting place, and I will watch over those who are In my situation and try to make sure that they never reach that second door, they will be safe and make it back to starting point.
Now last but not least;
To my dearest Ethan,
I love you more than the sun loves the moon,
You were always there for me and I am grateful for that, but you deserve someone who will give their world on a silver platter.
I'm sorry I couldn't do that for you but you were my world and I can't really hand you to yourself.
So I left and I know your probably mad at me but I know you will get over it, you must let go of the dark past and move on to the beautiful side of tomorrow.
I love you Ethan grant Dolan and I will never stop, your were the light of my life and I guarantee you will continue to shine wherever I am now.
Live your life and love with your heart.
Love y/n💕
Depression:
Your still alive but your spirit is dead.
🐚🐝☀️
so this was REALLY dark and it sucked ass but I hoped you enjoyed it I guess.
Personally I've always seen depression as a spiralling staircase with 2 doors.
If any of you were wondering.
So yeah.....
-S
YOU ARE READING
Dolan twin imagines
FanfictionIt's a good read, laughter, tears, smiles and sadness will all probably occur whilst reading this but it's worth it xx
