Rookie in Love [SYTYCW 2013]

Rookie in Love [Chapter Twelve]

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Chapter Twelve

             My new creepy hobby is watching Jackson as he sleeps.  I love falling asleep with his warmth all around me, but in the morning I wiggle out of his arms so I can watch him sleep; the peaceful look on his face puts my heart at ease.  I want to choose him.  Every day when I wake up I reach for him and each night before I go to sleep he is the last thing I think about.  He consumes me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

            Tonight is the last game of the season, and the first football game I will ever go to.  Jackson has arranged special seats for me, Abby and Kyle.  I am hoping that Abby and Kyle can enjoy the evening and not be reminded that their time together might be coming to an end.  Leaving my room each day is like walking into a funeral, the mood so heavy and the overwhelming need to break down almost contagious.  We haven’t spoken about Kyle’s job opportunity yet, but today we are skipping our classes to have a girls’ day before the big game. 

            I trace a line across Jackson’s brow and down his cheek because I just need to touch him.  His eyes flutter open and he smiles when he sees my face.  Tucking his arm under me, he pulls me to him so that my head is resting on his chest.  It is the first time ever that I have the thought that I feel completely at peace. 

            “What are your big plans for today, Rookie?” he asks, his voice heavy with sleep.

            “Abby and I are getting our nails done and then we are going to grab some lunch. What time do we need to be at the stadium?” 

            “The kick off is at five, so just be there before 4:30 to make sure you can get in your seats in time.  Remember to go to the special gate I showed you yesterday so that you can get into the section I saved for you.”  I nod against his chest and wrap my arm around him. 

            Abby is no longer surprised when Jackson emerges from my room in the morning.  It happens more days than it doesn’t.  He has blended well into our morning routine, making coffee for everyone and clicking on the sports news for himself and Kyle.  Kyle is here now more than ever.  I think they must feel a more intense version of what Jackson and I are feeling; they have been together for three years and there is a possibility that they won’t be able to come to an agreement and stay together.  Jackson and I have only been around each other for two weeks and the thought of our time being over is literally too painful to think about.

            After breakfast the boys head off to their activities for the day.  Kyle and Jackson have become friends.  I guess they had no choice since we are always together at the apartment.  It seems so natural that they have exchanged numbers and text each other throughout the week.  Abby and I get in the car to head over to the nail salon.  She is trying to be strong but honestly this is the most feeble I have ever seen her.  Her eyes are dark and puffy and she just seems to have lost her spark.  “Abby, is everything ok?  Are you going to be ok if he moves to Florida?”  We haven’t had our chance to talk about all of this, and I want to know where her head is.

            “Ok, is actually the perfect word, Madeline.  I am ok and it will be ok.  I don’t think that I will ever be happy, and I know that my heart will never feel whole.  Right now my options are to move with him and uproot my entire life for a boyfriend, or stay here and start over.  You know how family is: they won’t support me leaving everything for a boy, even if we have been together for a long time and I love him.”

            I do know how family is, and it is because of that that I just nod and offer a small smile.  “As of this morning, where are you at with those options?”  I also know how quickly your mind can bounce from one choice to another.  Just when I think I have figured out what I am going to do, my mind decides to explore the other choice again.