Rookie in Love [SYTYCW 2013]

Rookie in Love [Chapter Sixteen]

Chapter Sixteen

The evidence of Winter Break descends upon the campus. The busy walkways are scattered with a few students hanging around during the break. I have just finished my last final, and I am heading back to the apartment. It has been thirty days since Greg and I broke up. I know this number because I feel every minute of those thirty days as if each took an hour.

I have been spending a lot of time sleeping over at Greg's and Caleb's so I can avoid the apartment and any chances of running into Jackson. If I see him again, I might crumble. I feel like a thin layer of glue holds the pieces of me together and with one strong touch, I will crack and shatter again.

I changed my number and threatened Abby and Kyle within an inch of their lives that it is not to be given to anyone under any circumstances. I know this has put them in an awkward position but I see no other way around it. If I could just keep my distance until I forget what it feels like to be in his arms, or the feeling of butterflies taking flight in my stomach at the sound of his voice, then maybe I can get over him. Or maybe one day I will stop lying to myself and admit that I will never get him out of my heart.

Abby and Kyle have been understanding about my mopping but Abby still begs me every once in a while to tell her what happened. I love him and I don't want to share my story and reinforce his already questionable reputation. Kyle and Jackson are great friends now and I know this thing between Jackson and me has made the friendship between them difficult at times, so I don't want to add in what I saw and put Kyle in the middle any more than he already is.

Jackson had said he would never give up, but that didn't last very long. For the first few weeks, I would sneak off to my place on the roof for a little peace. It has been the only place that I can be myself without people treating me like glass. My brothers have been supportive of my breakup with Greg and curious about what happened with Jackson, but once the dust settled they have taken to not bringing the situation up at all-clearly at peace with the end of Jackson and Maddy.

Jackson left me flowers every day for the first two weeks, with notes that told me he loved me and he would not give up. Then, one day when I climbed the trellis there were no flowers, just a note that told me that he would walk away if it meant my happiness because that's what people do for the ones they love. I have kept my breakup with Greg very private so that it would look like we are still together just to buy me more time. Greg knows what I am doing and has not stopped me, but he keeps encouraging me to talk to Jackson.

As I take the last few steps up to my apartment, I say a small prayer that I can be with Abby and Kyle without crying today. When I open the door, I can immediately feel that something it different. It is not the heavy mood that has blanketed our apartment as they try to figure out what will happen next in their relationship. Today there is a buzz of excitement that is almost intoxicating. Abby is bouncing up and down and comes racing towards me, wrapping me up in her arms.

Shooting a curious look to Kyle over her shoulder, I wonder what I missed. Kyle just shrugs his shoulders and smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen from him. Abby pulls out of our hug and squeals--literally squeals--as she flashes her left hand in front of my face. I have to grab her wrist to get her to stop waving it long enough for me to focus on the beautiful diamond that sits on her ring finger.

Once the connection is made, my hand flies over my mouth and I gape at her. "You are getting married?" She just nods enthusiastically and I throw my arms around her again, joining her little bounce up and down. In this moment two things happen: a piece of my heart soars with excitement for my best friends while the other part that holds my hope for Jackson shuts the light off and aches with a pain so sharp that I wince.