Jeopardy - A Luke Brooks fanfic (Contains Self Harm And Triggering Topics)

27. The elevator.

27.

I stepped out of the car, every part of my body shaking and my stomach turned. I'd never felt this nervous in my life, not even when the boys and I had recorded our MTV series, but maybe that was because the things we did for that, we did every other day of our lives. This wasn't something that happened every day, but maybe I was making a bigger deal out of it, maybe she'd broken her leg, or come down with an illness. Maybe she wouldn't be angry with me, maybe she would actually be happy to see me. "Luke!" Beau called from half way across the car park, I'd been too busy trying to calm myself to notice he'd begun walking away. I wiped my forehead with my hand, dragging it down the right side of my face and sighed. I wiped my hand on my shorts, taking a deep breath, and walked towards Beau.

"You okay bro?" He asked as I caught up to him, obviously sensing my distress and discomfort. I just nodded, I couldn't form any words at all, nothing seemed like the right thing to say, or feel. He shrugged and walked ahead of me, through the double, glass doors. The smell of antibacterial cleanser stung my nostrils, the bright white lights shone in my eyes and the front desk was crowded with people. Beau lead us towards the desk, I stopped half way to get a cup of water from the dispenser to calm my nerves and stomach. I waited back for Beau, too scared to approach the desk, sipping the water slowly until he began walking back towards me. "Floor 3, room 608" he smiled and patted my back, making me choke on the water I had in my mouth and splutter.

As I tried to gain my breath again, and stifle the coughing Beau had forced upon me, I noticed a couple of people staring at me and decided to make a quick escape to the elevator. As the doors closed on us, Beau began making chicken noises, and the few other people in the lift, stared at us awkwardly. I looked at Beau trying to get him to stop, but he carried on as usual. We got to the first floor and everyone, but Beau and I, left the elevator. "Beau, now is really not the time." I hissed at him, he rolled his eyes and fixed his hair in the mirrored wall. On level 2 a elderly woman in a wheel chair, pushed by a nurse joined us in the lift, "level 4 please." She asked me and I pressed the button in silence. The lift began rising, as did the water in my stomach, I felt more sick than I had ever felt in my life.

"Level 3" the elevator voice sounded out, this was it. Beau walked swiftly out, almost tripping over the wheelchair and waiting for me to follow, but I couldn't move, I just let the doors close again. We began moving up, "level 4", again I stayed still and waited, as if I needed someone to physically drag me out. A small child, her mother, a man in a dressing gown and another woman in a nighty and her slippers Entered. I pressed 3, 1 and G. This time I couldn't bottle it, I was Luke Brooks, YouTube prankster, I never got scared or nervous. "Level 3" I stepped out, looking at the floor and heard the elevator doors shut behind me. "What the fuck?" I heard Beau, I looked up and saw his leaning against the opposite wall. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and shrugged my shoulders.

"Luke, calm down." Beau said, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me a little, that's when I crumbled. "I can't see her Beau, what if aw tells me to leave? What if she's seriously ill? I don't know what I'm going to find when I go into that room, or what the reaction will be, I'm ducking scared!" I began crying and Beau hugged me tightly, that was the one thing I loved about Beau, he was always there to support both Jai and I, whatever happened. "Bro, you'll regret it if you walk away." He was right, I hated to admit it, but I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I left. I pulled away from Beau and straightened myself out, I brushed my fingers through my hair, wiped my eyes and began walking along the corridors.

"You took your time!" Jai said as we approached, he was sat outside with mum and two small children, a boy and a girl. I recognised them from somewhere but I wasn't sure where I'd seen them. "How is she? What happened? Is she okay?" All the questions I'd been asking myself for the past hour came out of my mouth at once. "See for yourself." Jai replied, pointing to glass window opposite. I walked over, my legs shaking and rested my arms on the ledge. Saskia was lying in between a dozen wires, drips connected to each hand and a machine beeping away. A man was sat by her side, the man who had picked her up from my house a few days ago. "She's not well Luke, they don't even know if she will survive the night." My mum put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. Tears began falling down my cheeks as I watched her chest rising slowly, she couldn't go, not my Saskia.