Soonhoon || Hozi : Smile Flower [COMPLETED]

Nigthmare

Kwon Soonyoung

"Soonyoung! Soonyoung wake up!" 

"Hoshi, Woozi is not stable!" I rubbed my eyes gently and Jeonghan and Jisoo appear in my blurry vision. 

"What are you talking about? I...." 

And it hit me at once...............

It never happened in reality..........

"What were trying to say Hoshi?" Dokyeom inqured, holding my shoulder as he look at me in sympathy. 

"N-nothing Seokmin." I can see from their reactions that they're not satisfied. I need to pretend I'm okay, if not, they will tell me that Woozi will be sad if they see how sad I am. 

"How is he doc?" Don't tell me it will be similar from my dream.......

"We only have have one option Mr. Kwon. Ne--"

"I'll wait for him." I cut him before he could say those words that I don't like to hear. "I will wait for Jihoon. He will not give up on me, he will not give up because we're here for him. He wouldn't let us cry for him. He wouldn't do that."

"But Mr. Kwon----"

"Can you not!" Seungcheol outburst in anger yet Minghao at Jun strangles him. In the end, I heave a deep sigh as the doctor disappear instantly. I know this would happen. Maybe Jihoon came into my dream for some reasons.

Either he wants me to hold on......

Or to let go of Jihoon........

"Can I t-take a look at him?"

"H-Hoshi, you haven't eat anything since Jihoon got into accident. Feed yourself hyung."

"I want to get feed with his love." I looked at Dino, blistering beads gushes out the corner of my eyes without notice. 

"C-Can't you give it to me? I'm tired of being unloved and unwatned. I've been waiting for him." I let out a brief sigh. "I keep on waiting without thinking if he'll still wake up or not, or he will stay there until my words will left unsaid and I'll be left alone with the huge regret in my heart and it hurts. I know it is self pity already but can't you give me the time to see him again?" 

They approached me, embracing me lightly and heard them sobbing. "You're making me cry even more. I thought Jihoon will be sad if he'll see us like this."

"At least he knows that we really care about Woozi." After Jun's respond, they pull themselves and gave me a warm smile and pat on my back. I take a step near the door and placed my sweaty palm on the handle. Twisting it lightly, I shove the door and this time, I wanted to turn back and go outside. My heart shattered looking at Jihoon lying helplessly in the bed. 

"W-Woozi." My feet can't lift up this heavy feeling that I have. With all my strength, I hobble close to him and held his soft hands with me.

"Can you hear me Hoon? Can you hear my heart beating for you? When you're gone, you wouldn't hear it again. Can you see me, can see how desperate to have you, to feel you again? I miss you so much Jihoon, I miss you. It hurts because thinking your condition; I'm dying to know that anytime I may lose you. But it will be more painful if my own eyes will see how you let go. I hate not having the chance to hug you in my arms, I hate not being able to talk to you, to listen to your voice and I'll not get tired listening from your mouth." 

Small tiny crystal beads creep out, one from another.....

"For 3 months, I became weaker and weaker until I-I wanted to give up but I don't want to do it. It's up to me if I will still fight for you or not until I remember you Jihoon, I remember how I need you, how much I l-love you. I didn't think about myself; I think about you."

  Soon it turned into a flowing stream of sorrow that ran down my face............

"If only I can replace myself in your place, I do it without any doubt. It tightens up my chest to see you in severe pain. I should be the one who's lying right where you are. I don't know if it's better that I wasn't in accident because if I am, I don't want you to cry for me, I don't want to see hurting because of me yet, you should not feel this grief."

And dripped down my chin into his hand........

"This is the second time I've done this; I shed tears and fall down in your hand. You're not the greatest mistake, you're the greatest gift that had happened to my life. It brought me in tears because you thought I'm thinking that way to you. No, I didn't think about that thing, that you're worthless and a mistake to me. Because you're not. I love you so much Jihoon and it's impossible for me to say things which can hurt you."

"I smile whenever I think of you. It becomes so hard on me. At the same time, I cry whenever I think of you. You are my everything, and I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of losing you Jihoon. Please, keep holding on. Please Woozi.........Please hold on me...........Please." I panted and rested my head on his hand. 

"But if you're tired, give me a sign Jihoon so that I can cry one last time. Don't forget that you're always live in me. I love you Woozi. Soon is waiting for you Hoon."

I will not lose hope, I will not lose you.

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