And Dreams Might Win

Chapter 2

"Acceptable"

That's all he got to say after all the time I spent on making this god damn article perfect .

"So, we might publish it for next week's issue"

"Might?"

"I already have many completed articles of much more importance; therefore, it depends on the board if they would like to keep your piece. Alright?"

"I don't-uh –yeah, okay sure" Forcing a smile which would have just looked like my diarrhea face, I made my exit only to have my generous breast bump into a pair of non-existent ones.

"oof"

"Oh"

"I am sorry, are you ok-"

Looking at a pair of hazel eyes, I realized I just hit the glamour queen of Forbes, the assistant editor.

"Well, hello, haven't changed your clumsy ways yet darling? Don't worry; it becomes better with experience and age. It could take a bit time but just don't lose hope." She smiled at me pityingly.

"Actually, it wasn't my clumsy-"

Ignoring me like I was nothing but a little bug, 'the- know- it- all woman' left me standing at the doorway.

Why didn't anyone listen to my quirky comebacks? I completely believe in my ability to roast people. I have done that quite many times actually.

You can only roast people sitting behind your mobile screen and not on their faces. Accept it!

That's only because, people in real life don't hear me out.

Why don't you speak up then?

I try, you know I do.

It hasn't worked for the last twenty seven years of life.

No, people did hear me out until I was seven years old. I only messed up the next twenty years.

And you will continue to be someone on the side, a mediocre, whose voice was never heard.

No, I won't. I have my entire life in front of me. I can still change my life.

You don't seem to be making any progress at that lately. What about that book you were so enthusiastic to write?

I haven't been getting enough time. I have articles to write so I can get the paycheck at the end of the month. You know that.

Darling, all you do is fanny around for every task. Is there anything you have ever actually completed?

No..

Changing my directions, I headed for the loo to lock myself alone and let that realization set in.

A sudden feeling over powered me. A very negative feeling. All the memories of me being ignored, being no one ,being lazy came flooding in with a velocity I couldn't tolerate. I hated who I had been, I am and will be if I don't change. My life felt worthless. I hadn't given anything to this world, I made no change. I was no one. Why was I even trying to write? It was merely acceptable. I was just acceptable to this world. My existence or non-existence won't affect anyone-

Bollocks! It will affect many. Your family, friends and your future dog. Stop being a defeatist . You know your potential-

Don't use that word. My bloody potential. I have no potential.I am a lazy arse. Just a disappointment to her parents and herself.I loathe myself and my existence. Why did I have to be the bloody sperm to fertilize first? It would be better if I was washed out. I can never be the best in anything. I will just exist .

But I don't want to just exist. I want to live. Happily, proudly. I want to have a reason to get up every day in the morning and not be forced to wake up by a bloody ball of fire.

Then do it. Show it. Do what you like. You get only one life-

What about the seven lives each person gets?

I am a part of you and I don't very much believe in that theory. The point is that you get one life and you need to stop living according to the rule book of the world. You need to do what you want to do.

It was the moment in movies where the protagonist realizes some important piece of information and the pupils dilate. That's what it felt anyway.

Enough being no one. I am done living that kind of life. I am going to adopt a dog, clean my cupboard, go on a date maybe, hang out with old mates ,quit this job, write a book , tell Alicia I am not clumsy and Harrison, well, what can I tell him ?

Ah, should I say he has the most beautiful eyes or the most drool worthy body?

No, I'll say –ah-uh-My article was jolly good and not just acceptable and if you don't believe that then shove your beliefs in your bloody beautiful arse. That's not necessary.

I marched towards his room once again with my new 3 inch heels clicking against the polished floor. I could feel a rock song playing behind while I slow walked and looked dangerously gorgeous .

"Oops" I had to limp towards his office now. Why can't I slay heels properly?

Should I type out a resignation letter?

Probably not. There are chances of my mind turning it wheels and me being stuck here my entire life and remaining unappreciated.

Buahh. No. Not again, thank you please.

I entered without knocking because I don't give tiny miny damn about manners anyway. I am high on confidence for the first time. I was going to feel the moment.

Crickey! Wasn't there an office romance brewing here?

Not that I cared but it wasn't a picture perfect scene to see your dream man who happens to be your boss holding the clumsy woman's hand so delicately.

I won't let anything stop me from quitting.

Clearing my throat I forced a tight-lipped smile at the duo.

Alicia nearly jumped while Harrison didn't seem to mind my presence and remained cool. His eyes suggested otherwise. There was an approaching storm in his clouded grey eyes.

Normally, I would have gotten scared and uttered apologies before running away as quickly as possible and simultaneously scolding myself for not exercising . But now I was a woman whose mind was loaded with nerve to say whatever I wanted and do what I liked. What's the worst that could happen? He'd fire me.

Ha! That's what I am here for.

"I thought you were only clumsy but you seem to be lacking basic manners as well. I don't unde-"

"I am here to quit." I declared with so much conviction I was surprised.

Silence was silenced for two seconds. Not really, I could still hear the sounds of chattering, typing, printing outside the office.

I looked right at Mr.Faucher's misty cauldrons . We both didn't flinch a bit. Our leering game was too strong. It almost felt like he was searching for the reason in my eyes.

"Alright." He finally said, a dark expression taking over his storm. He was unreadable now.

"I will E-mail my resignation letter" I concluded.

No response. Not that anything was left to say or heard so I started walking away. He could've at least wished me luck. Bah, who am I expecting it from?

I packed all the packets which contained the source of my contentment and the pens that I had lost a long while ago.

Saying my goodbyes to some good people, I walked into the elevator. I thought I might have the look of strong independent woman who changed her life for good but I had a roguish expression which just left me wondering if I had really did the right thing ? Did I change my life for good or was it to take an unexpected turn and lead to my complete failure?

Sigh.