And Dreams Might Win

Chapter 3

With a spring in my feet, or rather my 3 inch heels I sprinted towards my little wheeled machine. Once amply seated on the leathered seats I breathed out audibly in an attempt to push out the self-doubt filling up my body congested by all the organs and blood vessels. I had no space for anything that increases the weight on my two chicken alike legs. I put on the radio, but the songs did absolutely zilch to calm me down. They were loud and screeching marking the presence of electric guitar and horrible singing where words couldn't be heard rather pointless screaming could. Not that I didn't like rock songs but at this instance it's just unbearable.

Bloody bollocks! Shut up!

Turning it off, I started guiding the wheels of my little obedient machine towards my comfortable nest where I would-

Oh no, no, no, no. Let me just cut that train of lazy thoughts running through your ludicrous brain.

What? What have I done now?

Nothing at all. You have just quit your well-paying job so you can be someone in the world. A lazy arse determined to destroy her life was not part of the plan.

If you'd let me complete my train of thought, my train was actually going to stop at the station of writing my future best-selling novel.

Once you stop at the station of resting in your comfortable nest we are never getting a dog or being someone.

Shamefaced I agreed with the more intelligent myself. There was not a bit chance I was going to rest and fanny around anymore. I had to make a mark on this world however faint it'll be. I was going to prove myself how worthy I am to be alive.

Looking straight at the road with dogged brown eyes, I headed towards my new work place, a peaceful spot with a cup of green tea and a few packets of chipped potatoes. I was going to complete my book and then a publisher might print it. My life seems to be falling in place now and I've never felt this positive about anything in my life. I have found a true purpose in my life and I will not lose it again...

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"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.." I read aloud. I could visualize the little determined woman in my head making arrangements for her suicide.

Oh what now? I am blocked. Every writer goes through a writer's block. It is completely normal and you are just over reacting to this very common situation.

You haven't even started. Since you have settled your very generous bum on this chair you have only eaten and read quotes. How will you get published if you can't even start?

I could feel the anxiety rising from the base of my abdomen to the pit of my stomach and not very soon my hands would swell and I won't be able to do anything at all. Quickly I searched a sixteenth time about conquering anxiety and putting the annoying voice to a pleasant sleep.

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"I wish there was a real chandler in my life or I was a lesbian so I could date Phoebe" I sighed.

Looking up from the computer screen, I noticed that the further corners of the room were scarcely visible in the evening twilight. Opening the casement, I breathed in the beautiful sight of the sun setting and the sky being colored with a shade of orange and purple.

"Blimey! I should paint this beautiful scene." I headed towards the store with an animated expression to get the canvas and paint.

My sudden zeal had indeed woken her up.

When did Van Gogh decide to visit your sleeping soul?

Just as I saw the sky being painted by the nature in the most glorious way. And I absolutely refuse to be demotivated by this figment of my own imagination.

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"This looks worse than a three year old's rainbow painting." I sighed dolefully.

I can't even count the number of times I have sighed today. Slumping on the sofa I stared at the ceiling.

It looks so barren? Plain white. Dull. Like my life.

Not really ,my life has its colors. Just not the colors I would've liked to paint my life with.

"I am getting myself a dog now!"

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Bursting into the house with the widest grin, I lit up the room.I don't think I could stretch my mouth any further or I'd look like the female version of Joker. That's not a bad thought to ponder upon really. At least I'd be the new viral thing on internet and then I might get a role in the next 'The dark night rises' movie. Then other roles, a romantic comedy to do and then some action movies. My acting skills were never very bad actually. I could've made a great future out of it-

So, you are not financially capable of adopting dog. I don't know if that's funny or sad? Can you stop grinning now please ?

I am happy that once I become successful and financially capable by publishing my soon to be best selling book, I'd be able to get my little friend and then we happily live our 'happily ever after'.

That entire sentence you just uttered is so optimistic; I want to kill myself, really. But let me throw reality at your stupid face once again, you actually need to type words that mean something and those words to make up a book before it gets published, we'll talk about best-selling after wards.

Whoever let you live in me ? You don't even pay rent for compensating the negativity you spread. I am going to write, just so you know.

Dropping my bum at the very uncomfortable chair once again, I started at that blank sheet and the cursor continuously blinking as if asking me 'what the hell are you doing in life?'. Even the cursor didn't fail to mock me.

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"It's been two hours, 31 minutes and 54 seconds, since I have written anything but introduction"

The introduction is basically just telling the name of your character.

"Whatever let me check Facebook. I need to find a character, and extract their story through my almost non-existent exploitative and manipulative ways. As a writer I should be able to understand the vulnerability of people and their weak points to write a story on it, you know? "

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Found a character yet? oh maybe after you are done stalking strange good looking men, will you be able to find a character for the best-selling novella you were to write.

"I am going to Georgia!"

Good luck with that.

It's cheap, I think I have some savings for this trip. Not too far away and a wonderful place to get out of Dubai's heat and cross the comfort zone boundaries for once and for all. It's about time I start painting my life with colors I want. On returning, my book will have an aim towards which I shall write.

"I am going to Georgia" I declared it to myself as I booked my trip with a determined smile to be precise.

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