Scars of Conquest; Germany x Reader

Chapter 12 - Made Without Eyes

LUDWIG

You must be blind.

Ludwig looks up, not realizing that it had gotten ridiculously dark inside Gilbert's room. He looks at his brother, lying prone on the bed, and slowly shifts from the chair he had been sitting in for what must have been hours.

"West," a voice breathes, trying to force the words out. Ludwig lets his hands fall from the curtain, not bothering to open them. Gilbert's head slowly turns as he tries to sit up. Ludwig rushes to his brother's side, grabbing his pale hand and forcing it back against the bed. A silent plea for Gilbert to relax.

Gilbert still struggles to try and sit up. "Y/n," Gilbert forces out. "She was with me. That man –"

"She's fine. Brother, do you remember who attacked you?"

"You have to protect her," Gilbert whispers, his grip tightening around Ludwig's calloused hand. "She's just like I was. It scares me. I feel like I'm –"

"Looking into an old mirror," Ludwig says, finishing the sentence when Gilbert finally goes limp and cannot finish the sentence on his own.

Gilbert tilts his head towards him. "You think she'd survive?. If her country dissolves..."

"She'll just be like you."

Tears slide easily down the albino's face. "I don't want her to be like me, West. She has to be strong like you. But she's slipping and I'm a horrible older brother who can't save the people who matter."

"You're wrong. I brought that war on myself and you were the one who ended up drowning. You had saved me."

Gilbert whimpers. "I can't stop crying."

Ludwig was taken aback. He couldn't do this. He couldn't comfort his brother when he himself had no idea how to comfort him.

"Russia took me and I broke so easily. I crumpled like paper and I couldn't do anything. Y/n, we took her from her home, and she didn't crumple easily. But she's breaking and she doesn't recognize it." Gilbert moans, hands covering his face as he tries to staunch the flow of the tears. "I don't want her to be like me. All I want was for you to help her and for her to be happy."

Ludwig's voice is soft. "Are you not happy?"

"Of course I'm not happy!" Gilbert roars, suddenly sitting up.

All Ludwig could say was, "Two days and you should be better. You shouldn't move your head too much."

"I don't care that I'm having the worse headache of my existence!" Gilbert cries. "I can't stand this, staring into this mirror image of myself in Y/n and seeing someone who is bound to fall apart. I can see it and I can't stop it. I thought the wars wouldn't rip me apart. I thought I could help you and help my people survive." Gilbert's head bows in anger. "And guess who ended up sinking."

"Brother," Ludwig says, trying to speak. Gilbert falls back down, slamming a pillow over his face. "I can't help if you don't let me."

"What are you going to do?" Gilbert murmurs. "You're too scared to do anything but follow orders. You wonder why I'm not happy? I sit here and I suffer because I'm slowly fading into nothing in the most painful way possible. I'm realizing that if one day I wake up and I don't exist all the people I'm leaving behind...I can't save them. And they'll suffer for the rest of their miserable eternal lives."