Love Without End

Chapter Forty Three

I couldn't sleep that night. I'd just shot at least thirty people, and blown up over two hundred. I laid, wide awake, in Tony's arms. After a while, I slipped out of them and went to the piano. It was away from everyone elses' rooms, mostly, so I figured it was okay.
There was a song I used to love. I don't know who wrote it, or what it was called, but I loved it. It was the first actual piece I learned completely. It was pretty simple, but I had felt so accomplished. My left hand tapped away constant eighth notes, while my right hand played either quarters or eighths.
At least they normally did. Today neither of them were doing it properly. I knew I could play it. I had played it just before I left. I didn't know why I couldn't now.
Tony came in as I struggled and sat beside me. I moved over to give him room. He gently pushed my hands away and started to play it how it was meant to sound. "It's your favorite." He said as he played.
"Yes, Tony, I'm aware." I said sharply.
He stopped playing and put his arm around me, and I started to cry. "I hate this." I whispered. "I hate it."
"Me too." He whispered, rubbing my arm. "I'm sorry, baby."
"Bucky risked his life for me." I told him. "He saved me twice."
"You leave for three days..."
I laughed a little bit. "I'm gonna go for a walk. You wanna come?"
"If you want me to."
"Not really."
"Then I'll be right here when you get back."
"No. You'll be asleep when I get back."
"Can't sleep without you." He smiled.
"You have for the past few days, I'm sure you can manage another night."
I walked outside, and it wasn't really dark. All the buildings were lit up. The streets were more or less empty, though.
"Hey, there." A drunk boy (I say boy because he was, like, twenty) came up to me.
"I'm stressed and armed and exhausted, and that's not a good combination. I suggest you don't talk to me. Go home." I said shortly, and he walked away, wide-eyed.
I walked all the way to the cemetery. I got all the way to Rhodey's grave before breaking down into sobs and dropping to my knees before the tombstone. "I fucking miss you." I whispered. "I fucking miss you, you fucking dumbass." I put my head in my hands and sobbed. "God, Rhodey." I leaned against the tombstone, knees pulled to my chest. "This is shit." I told him, even though he wasn't there and couldn't hear me. "I envy you. Wanna trade?"
I sat there talking to Rhodey for a good hour.
I turned to Steve's tombstone, right beside Rhodey's. "I miss you too, you know. Even though you didn't actually love us. I'm sorry I shot you, I really am. God, I probably could've handled that better, huh?"
I got up and walked back home.
As he promised, Tony was still at the piano. He was playing Beethoven's 9th, so I stood in the doorway for a while before making my presence known.
"Come here." He said, turning around on the piano stool, and I came. He wrapped his arms around my waist and looked up at me. "I'm so lucky to have you."
"That you are, Stark." I smiled and pushed his hair back. "Hey, scratch my back." I said, turning around.
"Looks like you're lucky to have me too." He laughed as he complied.

"Do you guys wanna go see a movie?" Angela asked us at breakfast.
We all just kind of started at her.
"What?" She asked.
"Since when is going to the movies with your family cool?" Tony asked.
"It's not."
"But she missed Bucky and me. Right?" I smiled.
"Yeah." She said. "Sure. Do you guys wanna go?"
"What do you wanna see?" Bruce asked.
"The Purge."
"No." Tony looked at her like she was crazy. "Why not.. Finding Dory or something?"
"That's a kids movie, Dad." She rolled her eyes.
"So?" I asked. "I still watched kids movies when I was your age. I went to see them with my friends too."
"You must have had weird friends."
"I didn't know you had friends." Bruce smiled.
"Ha ha." I rolled my eyes, smiling. "I had one, thank you very much."
"So, who wants to go?" Angela tried again.
"You aren't seeing that." Tony said.
"Oh, come on, Tony. Those movies are dumb anyways." I said.
"Fine. Let her be traumatized."
"Aww, was somebody traumatized?" I said in a baby voice, pinching his cheek.
"Get off me." He laughed, pushing my hand away.
"Is anybody coming with me, or do I need to ask one of my friends?" Angela sighed.
"I'll go." Imani said.
"Me too." Bucky said.
"I think I'll pass." Bruce said.
"Yeah, me too." Tony said.
"You're not serious going to leave me at their mercy." Bucky said.
"Oh, but I am." I smiled and patted his arm. "Good luck."
"I didn't know Dad drank." Angela said as I came in her room to zip up her dress.
"Did he?" I asked. It's been a while.
"Yes, oh my God."
I raised my eyebrows. "Why's that?"
"He was so drunk. It was hilarious." She started to laugh. "He passed out in the bathtub."
I fake laughed. He was going to do that around my kids?
They left after lunch, leaving me and the boys home alone. Bruce was sitting in a chair reading, Tony was sprawled on the floor reading, and I was curled on the couch reading.
"Tony, what are you reading?" I asked suddenly, sitting up straight.
He turned it to show the cover, but didn't say anything.
Oh shit. Shit shit shit. That was my book. He was reading my book.
I sat back in the couch, determined to play it cool since Bruce was looking at me weird.
He's so silently judging me.
"Nice." I said casually.
Of course he doesn't know that it was me who wrote it.
But then again all the characters are loosely based off of the Avengers and I was sure he'd pick up on that.
And of course the male protagonist is more or less Tony.
I closed my book and got up to walk out.
"Where are you going?" He didn't look away from the book.
"Piano." I said simply and hurried out to have an anxiety attack.

That night, I stopped Tony as he was about to climb into bed. "Why don't you sleep in the bathtub? You seem to like it there."
He winced. "Who told you? Was it Bruce?"
I crossed my arms.
"It was Bruce."
"Angela, actually. You can't do that in front of the kids."
"I know, I know. I've told you before; I literally can't function without you."
"I don't care. Bathtub. Go."