I Have a Secret (Rapmonster Fanfic)

Comeback Tour

Two weeks have passed since Miyako-chan and I slept over Eunmi's dorm and Bighit has announced our debut. We've been releasing dance practice videos trying to get Korea hyped for us and I think it's working. (A/N: I know that is Sistar, but let's pretend it's Lissa's group, okay?) Then again, it could just be because I'm a foreigner. Netizens are having a field day with that.

'She's white, she shouldn't be in a kpop group!'
'She's so mayo!'
'I can't believe these white people, trying to take the spotlight from more deserving Koreans.'
'I bet the company only accepted her because she's white.'

Netizens can be really mean sometimes, but it's easy for me to ignore them. All I have to do is leave the page and I don't see them anymore. On top of that, Oppa has been extremely supportive. He told me he wanted to be the very first person to buy our debut album. BTS already had their comeback and are in the middle of promoting, but they haven't started touring yet. They're going to Malaysia in a few days, then Japan, then back to Korea.

"Lissa," Oppa called. He was visiting for a little before going on tour.
"Hmm?" I answered. I was exhausted from dancing for half the day, so I was laying on my bed with my eyes closed.
"I know you're going to get a lot of racist comments. Don't let them get to you, okay?" he said and patted my head.
"I know I know, and if someone calls you 'mayo' again, don't call them 'soy sauce'. For the millionth time, I get it," I sighed.
"I'm just worried about you," Oppa laughed, "I know how you get when someone pisses you off, but you can't yell at people like that as an idol. It'll make people mad and the company will get on your case."
"Okay, so what am I supposed to do? Just let them walk all over me?" I asked, getting a little exasperated.
"Yeah, actually. If you say something to make people mad you can only apologize. If you try to defend yourself it'll make the situation worse. So if someone calls you mayo you either can't say anything or have to say something that's not confrontational. For example, you could say 'that's funny, I don't even like mayo' or something like that," he explained before getting a piece of paper and started writing things down.
"I'm going to write you a list of do's and don'ts you need to follow as an idol to try to stay out of controversy. It's not full proof, but it'll help you stay out of trouble for a while. The only thing I can see you getting into a scandal with if you follow these rules is a dating scandal, but if we work hard to hide our relationship then you might even get away with that."

I watched him write this list and tape it to my wall next to my closet and thought how sad it is that idols have to be so careful. We have to try to be perfect so we don't make anyone angry or jealous. We have to watch every little word we say because netizens will pick every sentence apart to find something to get angry over. We can't even openly date. Tell me why. Why? We're humans too. We're not just things to entertain people. We're not just sing and dancing machines. We don't just live for our fans. Yes our fans are extremely important and we would be no where without them, but we need to live too. We need to live too.

***

I met BTS in their dorm before they left for the airport to say goodbye. Unfortunately I couldn't go with them to the airport because there would be too many fans, so I went to their dorm with Miyako-chan to have lunch with them before they leave. The place was a mess. I mean it's usually messy but now it looked like a bomb went off, or a tornado went through the dorm. There were cloths and toiletries everywhere. Oppa, Seokjin and Jimin had finished packing, but no one else. Yoongi just woke up when we got there, Hoseok kept remembering things he forgot to pack, Taehyung was helping Hoseok and hadn't even started packing his own luggage, and Jungkook was still packing his protein shakes and sunscreen. Miyako-chan went to help Hoseok and I sat next to Oppa.

"Aren't you guys going to help them?" I asked the three that were done packing.
"No, they should've packed earlier," shrugged Oppa and Seokjin agreed.
"I tried to help Jungkook, but he wouldn't let me," pouted Jimin.
"Anyway, what do you want to eat?" Oppa asked.
"I want kimbap!" Hoseok yelled from the other room.
"You don't count, you're still packing!" Jin yelled back.
"Um, I learned how to make kimchi fried rice, I could make that," suggested.
"Free food? Yes!" Jimin said excitedly.
"Sure, let's see what you can do," Seokjin said, "I'll help you prep."
So I made kimchi fried rice with Jin. One by one the rest of the members finished packing and we ate.

***

The time came for them to leave for the airport, but Oppa hung back. He said he wanted to say goodbye alone. When the other members left to get in the van and Miyako-chan went home, Oppa hugged me.
"Jagiya, let's talk everyday, okay?" he whispered in my ear.
"Okay," I whispered back. He kissed my forehead and touched my face.
"Oppa, we're going to see each other again. You're only going for a month," I reminded him. He smirked and took my hand. We walked outside holding hands. We got outside the idol dorms and he kissed me one more time before going to the van.
"I'll call you when we land," he yelled through the window, and the van drove away.

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There's less than a week left of the fan art competition and I have no entries at all. That's kind of disappointing :( but I'm glad you guys are enjoying the new chapters :)