Love Me Harder

chapter 6

*dinah pov*

after 7 years , I finally saw her . she looked beautiful . I let her go . I shouldn't have but I had a guy . I knew that from the moment I saw Normani , she was going to be the love of my life . I just couldn't act on my feelings because I had nela . he was great and everything but I didn't feel anything towards him .

Normani .. she made me have butterflies in my stomach . she loved me but I couldn't love her . I was the reason she was hurt . when she would fall asleep on the bus , I would go through her phone and see all the things our fans would say about her . it hurt reading them because they weren't true . she shouldn't have been going through this alone .

she would lie and tell me it's nothing when I knew she was keeping secrets about this . every time she wouldn't want to go with us , I rush home when I have a feeling she's hurting herself . I have watched her cry before and that's something I hate seeing . I don't know the full story on why she was depressed but I want to find out . I'm not letting her go this time .

"Dinah !" nela screamed , entering the house .

"yeah ?" I asked , coming into view .

"where is my lunch ? didn't I tell you to bring me some lunch ?!"

he slammed down his keys and I instantly flinched . for the past 7 years , I have been getting abused by nela . I have tried so hard to make him happy but nothing I do will make him happy . everyone thinks I was in this great relationship with him because he would act like he loved me in public but as soon as we get home , he acts up .

I don't know how I've dealt with this . I just want to leave but he won't let me . I can't get free from his grip . I want Normani . I want my dark skinned beauty to be here .

"I got caught up with the girls that I forgot ." I squeaked .

he gets closer to me and flinched when he touched me . he started to squeeze my arms .

"I want you to stop hanging out with those girls ! I am your husband and I deserve to be treated with respect !"

"o-okay ."

"baby , I'm sorry but I need you to show respect . I don't want to keep hurting you ."

he pulled me into his arms but I was still tense . he wasn't genuine with these words and we both know it . I want out of this relationship . I want to cry but I can't appear to be weak around him . that's something I will not do .

"I can take you out for lunch ."

"no , I have to be getting back to work . i love you and I'll see you tomorrow morning ."

I nod as he gives me a kiss on the cheek before leaving . when I heard his car drive away , I instantly broke down and speed dialed Lauren . after a ring , she picked up .

"Dinah , are you okay ?!" she asked , as i choked back my tears .

"can you come over ?"

"I'll be there in 5 ."

I hung up the phone and curled into a fetal position . when I heard a knock , I told them to come in . I looked up to find ally , Lauren , and Camila there . they instantly ran towards me and held me in their arms .

"you shouldn't be going through this . I wish you would just leave ." Camila told me , as they released me .

"I can't . he's not going to let me leave . I have tried and you know how that worked out ."

"he can't just keep abusing you like this ."

"until you can find a way then I'm stuck with him ."

"what if I brought mani into this ?" Lauren asked , full of hope .

"absolutely not !" I yelled .

"why not ?!"

"what could she do to help me get out of this marriage ? I told her that I was happy with him ."

"I told her otherwise . at least give mani a chance . she still loves you ."

"how would you know that ?"

"we were talking at the park . look , it doesn't matter . all that matters is that we are going to get you out of this marriage ."

"he wants me to stop talking to you ."

"hell no ! he is not going to tell you to not hang out with us ! we are your friends !" Camila screamed .

"I forgot to bring him lunch because I was with you ."

"he thinks we're a bad influence or some shit . we're going to get you out . I promise you that ." ally said , as she left with Lauren and Camila behind her .

if Normani was going to help , we could possibly date . not likely , she doesn't love you anymore . even if Lauren just said she did , she doesn't love me . I just wished this was simpler . I want to have Normani in my arms because after all these years , I want to confess that I have been in love with her since I first saw her . that telling her that I only loved her as a friend was a lie .

I just want my Normani . I want her to be mine . I want everyone to be jealous because I had the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world . I want to keep telling her that she is beautiful inside and out . that I love every single thing about her . that I don't care about her scars . I want to wake up and her by my side . I want her to have my kids .

I took a shower and then laid in bed staring at my ceiling . I doubt Normani would love me with my scars . I had some secrets that I have told anyone except for one person . the other person found out accidentally . I think that's the reason why he's hitting me . because I'm different from the others . he tells me that it's not but I know he's lying .

Normani could never love me if she ever found out . who would love me if they knew ? the one I told helped me out . she didn't judge me . she was honestly the greatest person that I know . for 26 years I have been a virgin . I want to wait for the right one . truth be told , I want Normani to be the one to take my virginity away . whether she has her virginity taken away by some other girl or not .

I hope they find a way to get me out of this marriage . even my parents have tried but nela threatened them . I barely got to see my family because of him and it's killing me . I can't watch my little siblings grow up because he is imprisoning me . I FaceTime them every time nela's at work because if he knew I was talking to them , he would probably throw my phone away and hit me . even if I miss them growing up , they never forgot me .