Venus & Mars

Chapter 18 ~ You're Not Alone

I finally pulled away from Kylo, and my hands slid down his shoulders to grasp his hands. They encompassed my own as he stared at our joined fingers. "What now?" I murmured, following his gaze. He shrugged, biting his lip. "Kylo...we are so deep in this...I don't know how to get us out yet. But if it is something you truly want, I'll do anything I can to help you." I said reassuringly, meeting his eyes. He nodded in response. "It's not just what I want. It's what you deserve." He whispered. I cocked my head, unsure of what he was talking about.

I urged him to continue by squeezing his hands. "I tore you away from everything you knew and expected you to just be at my every command ever since. It was wrong. You deserve better..." He told me, looking away. "Hey...it's in the past. And if I had never had come with you, neither of us would be feeling the way we are. This happened for a reason. Everything does..." Another idea occurred to me, and I paused before continuing. "Maybe that's it, Kylo. Maybe this is why the Force connected us, why it brought us together. For us to be here, in this exact moment!" I said excitedly. He seemed to ponder my thought, tilting his head as he felt my happiness buzzing all around. "Perhaps." He conceded, smirking as I smiled even wider.

A few moments of relaxed silence passed between us, soothing my nerves like ice to a forest fire. "No one can know about this...Snoke, Hux, Phasma...no one." Kylo finally whispered, pressing his forehead against mine. I nodded, thinking the same thing. "Yeah. I kinda figured that much." I whispered back, closing my eyes calmly. "But...what exactly are we, Kylo? I mean...we can't just go back to being Master and Apprentice...or friends..." I pointed out, looking up into his eyes. He nodded, staring back. "What do you want, Andromeda?" The word "lovers" crossed my mind, but I shrugged it off. "Anything, as long as I'm with you..." I admitted shyly. Kylo grinned mischievously. "I heard that..." Realizing what he was talking about, I blushed darkly. He cupped my cheek, running his calloused thumb over my smooth skin. "And I like the sound of it..." He murmured softly, a hint of desire in his voice.

Biting my lip, I awaited his next move. Slowly, he started backing me up, movements both gentle and possessive at the same time. "So we're lovers then?" I asked, smirking up at him. "It appears that way." He replied. I decided to toy with him a little bit, trying to get him to loosen up some more. "It's taboo..." I said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. He kept stepping forward, making me back up even further. "It is..." He acknowledged. "It's cliche..." I lowered my tone a bit. "Very." He confirmed. "It's wrong..." My smirk widened, feeling my back hit the metal wall. "Completely." He agreed, smirking himself as he leaned in close, face mere centimeters from my own. "But I don't care anymore." I told him seductively. Something wicked flashed in his eyes. "Neither do I." He said, kissing me once more.

He was a little more rough this time, but not enough to cause me pain. His fingers wrapped around my wrists and pinned them to the wall above my head, holding me in place effortlessly as his lips moved along mine. I closed my eyes in contentment, kissing him back. I tilted my head, opening my mouth slightly. Kylo seemed to get the hint, his own jaw slackening to copy my actions. Then I felt something unusual, yet not exactly unpleasant. With a jolt, I realized that it was his tongue, slowly sliding into my mouth. Surprised but excited, I copied his actions.

Electricity sparked as soon as we made contact, fighting for dominance. It was totally indescribable. The way our tongues danced together lit a fire deep within my body. My blood was boiling from the passion that had been ignited between us. Even if I had wanted to stop, I knew I couldn't have brought myself to do so.

Some moments later, we finally pulled away from each other, breathless as we stared into one another's eyes. Kylo released my wrists, backing away. "Sorry." He muttered, looking ashamed. I smiled. "Don't be. I liked it." I confessed, flushing pink. He smirked, "Good. Because I don't think I'll ever tire from that." He said. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Me too." I said, watching him bite his lip.

We stood together quietly, the only sound in the room was our shallow breathing. I met Kylo's eyes once again, growing serious. "Listen...I have no idea what's going to happen next for us. But just know you're not alone, Kylo. We'll figure out what to do together." I told him, moving forward and hugging him tightly. He buried his face in my hair. "Thank you, Andromeda." He whispered. I smiled happily. I knew it. There's still hope for him. For me. We can fix this...

Days flew by, and I couldn't believe how happy I was. Kylo was far more pleasant to be around, even appearing to be relaxed and content in my presence. Every day we would meet in the training room and practice (which was becoming increasingly boring without my real lightsaber, but Kylo had managed to find his old one, a simple single bladed one like mine used to be), then go to the viewing room Kylo had shown me when we had first started to become friends. The beautiful chamber was our own private sanctuary, away from people and responsibilities. Spending our spare time there allowed us to converse and spend time together without the watchful eyes of Hux or Snoke. It was absolutely amazing, even when we had to keep our distance in the corridors of the Starkiller.

Among the shared glances and chaste kisses, we spoke of many things under the cover of the night. The biggest topic was that of our possible future. I could sense how torn Kylo was feeling, wanting to remain a Sith, and yet, desperate for an escape from the suffocating darkness. "We don't have to leave if you don't want to." I told him one evening, leaning on his shoulder softly. "I mean...I miss my mother...but I understand if you can't go back to the Resistance. Maybe I could write to her, explain everything. Maybe she would understand..." I trailed off. Even I doubted my words. There was no way anyone would understand, no way anyone could start to comprehend the tangled web of our lives at this point in time. "No. I'm taking you back, and that's final." He argued. "But Snoke will kill you. He'll find you, somehow, someday, and he will be out for revenge. I can't watch you die, and I'm not just going to let you drop me back home and escape into oblivion." I retorted, looking up at him. "Sometimes you're far more stubborn than what you should be." He commented bluntly. "I learned from the best." I chuckled, nudging him with my arm. He shook his head, looking out at the planets orbiting around one another in a collage of color.

Though he was calm on the outside, I could feel his unease and anxiety flowing from him like blood from a wound, and I could practically see the wheels in his head spinning as he attempted to devise another plan. I was glad that he had changed his mind, that he wanted to leave this horrible place. Yet, overwhelming curiosity made me wonder about what had caused such a drastic shift in personality. What had knocked the reality of the situation we were in into him, the great and powerful Kylo Ren. The man so dedicated to the Dark side that he rarely spoke of anything else when we had first become acquainted. Could it have been the battle at Hoth, or my near death, or something far more traumatic?