Comfortable

Another night

Kia

Trey stopped as soon as I said his name.It's almost like he knew I would stop him.He turned,and slowly walked towards me observing all of lyric's clothing in my hands.He begin to take everything from me before kissing my lips and taking my hand leading me up the stairs.

Trey: Come on....

I locked my hand into his and followed his lead.He stopped me before I could walk into the nursery.

Trey :I'm gonna go check on her and put her things away,meanwhile you go relax,Ill be in there in a little bit baby.

I nodded my head and agreed.

I went into the room and laid back onto the bed.I was drained emotionally and physically.I knew I missed Trey and I together but missing him just wasn't enough.I was snapped out of my thoughts when the room door opened and Trey walked into the room.He removed his shirt and came and set beside me on the bed.It wasn't long until he looked over at me with intense eyes and spoke.

Trey:You wanna talk?
Me:I don't know what to say Trey.
Trey:Say what you feel..no matter how much you feel it could hurt.I want you to be completely honest...

I watched him as he stared at the floor preparing to hear the worst to come from my mouth.I couldn't believe after everything we were really in this place in our relationship.I couldn't figure out what hurt worst,me losing my family or me losing my best friend.I knew whatever it was,we had to figure this out.

Me:Trey there is no doubt that I love you...shit I'm in love with you.Even after all the shit you have put me through I love you.Now more than ever.I mean we have a baby together,we created life out of our love.When I look at her I see you.I want to work this out but I just don't think it's best right now.I know exactly what I want but I want you to be sure as well.

I could see him break with every word I spoke but honestly I didn't care.It was about time he felt my pain and understood that I wasn't to be played with.If we were going to be together it was going to be US and that's it.

Trey:Okay,I can't argue with that but what does that mean exactly?You want me to be without you on the road and turn every female down that come my way although you don't want me?You want us to fix it but you want us to work on our relationship separated?

Me:I want you to do what makes you happy.If you really care about making us work then another bitch should never be on your mind anyway.

Trey:and you really think that's fair?

Me:Look Trey we grown.If you can't see yourself without another female in order to make shit right with the mother of your child then you are free to do what you want.

I couldn't believe he was really trying to make me feel bad for wanting more out of him for myself and my daughters sake.I watched as Trey got up and pulled his shirt over his head.I could feel my body starting to tense up inside because I was slowly growing angrier by the minute.I wanted him to fight for me and he wanted to leave because he wasn't hearing what he wanted to hear.

So you're just going to leave!?I said,yelling so that he could hear how pissed I was.I was now standing in front of him with my arms crossed.

Trey:Look shawty,calm down and stop yelling ....my baby sleep.

Me:Trey please!Now you give a fuck about your daughter being sleep but you can't be good to her mother because you so worried about having to swerve these hoes on the road!?Fuck you!

I tensed up as he moved in closer to me.Towering over my small frame,he stared down at me clearly frustrated.

Trey:I'm not saying it again Kia.Calm the fuck down man,my baby in the other room tryna sleep.You wanna be single?Cool....but don't expect me to continue to wait on you.

Everything in me said fuck him up when he spoke that shit to me but I had to realize who the fuck I was.Im a mom now and a lady always,and no one would ever strip me of neither one of those titles not even the man I'm madly in love with.So I sucked it up and stared into his eyes making sure that he felt every word I spoke.

Me:Leave...I will never allow you to make me feel guilty for fucking me over!Im a woman..a damn good woman at that!and I know what I'm worth..if you think for one second I'm going to cry another tear over yo ass while you fuck around with God knows who...then you really got me fucked up.Do what you want,I can't be concerned no more.Just make sure when Lyric need you,yo ass be here.That's it,cuz I wish you would put a bitch before my baby.I will make sure everything you ever work so hard for is mine! Do I make myself clear?

Trey smirked and licked his lips...as he stared back at me.Clearly he was turned on but I wasn't playing at all.He always thought  when I talked this way that it was sexy but what he didn't know that I was about my shit and if he tried me,I would fuck his whole entire life up.

Trey:Mmhmm I hear.You don't ever have to worry about me being a father to my child shawty.Ima always do what I need to do for her.

I could slap the fuck out of him as I watched him talk like I wasn't shit but a baby momma.Shortly after he walked pass me and down the hall to Lyrics room.I walked behind him talking shit because he was full of it so I felt like he deserved to hear it.He Picked Lyric up and kissed her little lips,then her nose,then her forehead before telling her he loved her and putting her back down.I stood in the door way as I watched her place her fingers in her mouth as she slowly fell back asleep.He then took a look around her nursery before walking towards me on his way out.

Trey:Why you looking at me like you hate me?

Me:I don't hate you,I hate this...

Trey:The situation?

Me:Yeah..that your about to leave and go to your place,when we should be kissing our baby girl goodnight and going to sleep...Together.

Trey:Look we just going to focus on being parents like you said and hope that everything else fall in place.These conversations are just too draining man.
I wanted to cry right there but didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me.So instead I followed him downstairs so that I could lock the door after he walked out.Soon after I realized I couldn't hold it in anymore more.I dropped down to the floor and cried my eyes out for what seemed to be hours.I couldn't understand why we just couldn't figure it out and be the way we use to be...atleast if not for us,for our baby girl.I finally gained the strength to pull myself off of the floor.I walked upstairs to Lyric's room,picked her up out of her bed,and cradled her in my arms.I needed her with me,she was part of him and having her closer to me made me feel complete.I adjusted myself in bed  ,then laid her on my chest.She moved around a little bit before falling back asleep.I smiled at her and kissed her forehead before switching the lamp on the nightstand off.In the dark I stared at the blank ceiling while rubbing my fingers through lyrics beautiful soft hair.Soon after I was fast asleep.Another night without him..