He always acts sad before lunch and he doesn't know why. He normally smiles and laughs but I know it's fake. You can tell by his hazel eyes. They turn green when he's feeling a strong feeling.
Back to the moment, he turned back to me and gave a tiny smile.
"I couldn't hold it in any longer" he says.
"And that's perfectly alright" I respond.
Sam walks over to us and she bends down looking at his face. "You okay?" She asks.
"Yeah, I think I'll be fine." He replies.
Faith catches up with us and yells "WILL, What happened???"
She doesn't want ANYONE to be sad, not even her worst nightmares main character. Like when I showed her my cuts once she tied up my jacket sleeve so I couldn't touch my wrist.
She bent down to him and made him smile with her fingers. He made a real smile and got up. "Let's go to lunch."
"Faith." I say
"Yes"
"I want you to force me to go over there"
"I'd be happy to -w-" she says
She grabs her lunch pail and we show up at the table full of gamers and outcasts of boys.
I sit next to Jake, and he's not paying attention and he just talks to the boys, and Faith sits next to his best friend Tommy.
"Jake. Your girly friend is---" Tom starts.
"OHOH hi.." Jake says.
"Hahah hey." I say as I turn to Faith who is trying to hold back laughter.
"So are you free on Thursday?" Jake asks.
"Yeah, skatepark?" I say
"Yep! Seems like a date." He says
I start blushing and he then makes a awkward face and says "I MEAN LIKE A PLAN".
So the rest of the day goes on and on and I finally get home. Faith calls me for a Video chat and of course I accept.
She's in a giant rigsby onesie.
"Well that's new." I say.
"I got it at the new place in the mall, it's so soft and fluffy." She replies.
"It's so cold out and I just want to cuddle with someone omg" she says.
"WELL I WANNA CUDDLE WITH JAKE BUT NOOOO" I say.
"You said 5 sentences today at lunch trying to start a convo, and he barely responded. Girl you wasting yo time."
She responds.
"Don't even. He's just shy." I say.
We talk about some girls new hair cut and if red or white vans are better.
It becomes 7 and I become extremely hungry. I go to the kitchen but before I get to the pantry I stop at a mirror.
I'm at my side and I look down at my tummy. It's not flat but it's okay. Then I lift up my shirt and it reveals I have a Bowl for a stomach. My mom has a thigh gap and everything meanwhile I stand in the background wondering if I'll ever be like that.
I decide not to eat no matter how much my stomach is in pain. I couldn't bare the pain any longer so I go to bed. It's only 8 but I don't care. I wanna be skinny.
Nothing interesting happens for the next two days, just goofing off and random jokes. Haven't spoken to Jake in awhile.
It's Thursday and I head off to school. My moms blonde hair flows in the wind while we drive in her baby blue convertible. Sometimes looking how happy she is makes me sick.
YOU ARE READING
Hold On Til May (2013)
RandomA girl with struggles of self harm, weight, drama gets caught up in love. She dates a boy named Jake and they have the time of her life. But, will they split? Will she find someone else? Will she overcome her depression?
