Hidden (Danisnotonfire and Amazingphil)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

*changing something small. Sophie's youtube, instagram, tumblr, ect, is now AwkwardSophie. Okay. Okay good.*

*Sophie's POV*

Me being stupid I had decided that 'hey it's a great a idea to look at the comments that people had left on Phil's video.'

So now at 1:30am I was awake, crying and feeling like absolute positive shit.

Comment after comment that I read was hate, hate, hate and more hate.

People legitimately wanted me to kill myself because I was dating Phil.

"Dan and Phil could be together right now, but you had to come in with your ugly ass face and body and ruin it. Fuck you. Kill yourself please. #PhanForever #PleaseDie" I read as more tears ran down my face.

Why did it matter if I was dating him? Did I really deserve death threats because we are dating? I wanted no I craved the feeling of a blade on my skin right now but I can't have that relief because Phil threw all my blades out.

Stupidly I look down at my laptop again and see more hate and death threats.

"ugly,

Fat,

Useless,

Die.

Kill yourself

Disgrace to human kind,

Whore,

Bitch"

The words kept appearing on my screen and I sobbed harder and harder. The itching on my wrists appeared, not a kind of itch that once you scratch it, it goes away. No, this one needed to be taken care of differently, I wanted to just cut. I don't care that I've been clean for so long and that I promised Phil I want to fucking die.

Looking down once more I see another comment

"Please kill yourself sophie, no one would give a fuck anyways"

And I feel like screaming, I want to scream so loud that the room shakes, I want to scream loud enough that everyone wakes up. So I try. I try to scream for help, for Dan I try to scream for Phil. But I can't. I can't do anything.

I sit on my bed tears going down my face, silent cries. I feel like I'm drowning. Like water is filling my lungs and to scream would free them. Making any sound would let me breathe but I can't, I can't do anything.

I sit on my bed silently crying. Silently dying. I feel the screams in my head, my stomach, everywhere, except they can't escape my throat they can't escape me.

Breathing becomes more difficult and I feel as though I might explode.

Once more I feel like I'm being dragged under water, pulled deeper and deeper, I can see someone trying to pull me out, reaching for me, I hear them crying I hear them screaming, but the words, the hurt keeps pulling me down, pulling me away, away from them.

A mere two seconds later my eyes are jolted open by someone shaking me, a scream fills the room, well more like a shriek and I wish for it to stop, until I realize it's me. The screaming stops and I hear myself crying, strangled cries with deep uneven breaths in-between them.

I look at Phil, who has his hands gripping my shoulders tightly, his eyes flash with fear, sadness and a look of worry is plastered onto his face. I see Dan behind him, his hands in his messy hair looking at me, small tears in his eyes.

My sobs stop altogether, and I feel unable to breathe, gasping for air. Again I feel like drowning I see Phil yelling at me but I can't hear him. I'm drowning again. I'm drowning in my own self hatred. Dan starts crying and kneels next to me taking my shaking hand. Phil is still on the bed with me shaking me slightly crying as well. I don't like seeing them cry.