Fuckbuddy

Chapter 8

Clint sat down beside Matt, carefully resting his hands on Matt's knee, moving his fingers in a spiral motion. "I have something to tell you," Clint whispered and Matt nodded.

"I do, too. I'm transgender," Matt said and Clint raised his eyebrows.

"Holy shit, me too!" Clint exclaimed and leaned forward before stopping abruptly. "Kiss?"

Matt nodded and Clint slowly connected their lips. After a few minutes Bucky and the twins walked back into the living room. "You staying here?" Bucky asked and Clint nodded. "Dope."

They continued what they were doing earlier, except Wanda joined the game. After a few hours everyone left. Bucky called Natasha, who arrived a few minutes later. "What happened this time?" She asked and Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Great. Now you know that I only call you when I'm upset." He groaned. "Clint and Matt are dating now," he muttered and Natasha smiled.

"Good for them."

"Yeah. God, I feel like... I feel like everyone is getting their happy ending except for me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I dunno. Pietro's got a boyfriend. Wanda is happy alone, or whatever. Clint and Matt are going to adopt cute little disabled kids when they graduate from the same college, after they elope. And Steve..."

"Oh, sweetheart," Natasha sighed and Bucky shrugged.

"Is it bad to wish that something really bad would happen to Peggy?"

"I mean... I think it isn't, as long as you don't act on it."

"I kind of really want her to like... Get shot or something," Bucky mumbled, fingering the fraying fabric of his jeans, taking a shaky breath.

"Buck, you can't say that."

"It's true. I daydream about it. I think, what would happen if Peggy were to get shot by a sniper on her way to geometry?"

"Bucky-"

"Don't Bucky me. I'll say whatever I fucking want. It would break Steve's fragile heart, anyways."

"Fragile?" Natasha echoed and Bucky shrugged.

"Yeah. He's weak as shit. He-he-"

"I think that maybe you're the fragile one. And your heart is already broken. And you have this... Steve shaped hole in it and that's the only thing that can mend it," Natasha said, patting his chest. Bucky let out a choked sob he didn't know he was holding back and collapsed in Natasha's arms. "I hate him so much," Bucky whimpered and she nodded.

"I know, baby."

"But I love him so much more."

"I know."

~•~

Bucky laid next to Natasha, kissing her neck softly. "Let's never leave this bed..." He whispered and she smiled, running her fingers through his hair.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Natasha told him and he groaned quietly.

"No... Don't leave me..."

"I'll never leave you. I'll be back in two minutes," Natasha kissed him quickly and scurried to the bathroom. Bucky sighed and grabbed the bottle next to his bed, taking a swig. Natasha laid back down beside him and pried the bottle from his hand.

"I just- I just want-" Bucky stammered before groaning.

"What do you want?"

"I dunno. Steve. To be happy. To be happy with Steve. But that can't ever happen because..."

"He's with Peggy. And he's happy with her," Natasha finished and Bucky nodded slowly, taking a shaky breath.

"And he won't be happy with me," Bucky sighed. "At least not if he had Peggy before." Natasha didn't respond; that was answer enough for Bucky. He stood up with a loud groan and walked to the bathroom.

Bucky stared at his reflection and ran his fingers through his hair, exhaling shakily. Natasha walked behind him and rested a hand on his back. He pushed her hand off and glared at her. "You should leave..." He muttered and she nodded, gathering her clothes and exiting his house. Bucky's phone rang and he groaned, putting it on speaker. "What?"

"It's Wanda. Pietro says that Steve and Peggy broke up." Bucky stared at his phone, chewing on his lip.

"They did, did they? Did they break up or are they on a break?" Bucky muttered, taking a box from under his cabinet. He pulled some Jenga blocks out and a square of tinfoil, stacking them. He put a lighter under the tinfoil and opened a baggie, pouring white powder onto the tinfoil. He started the lighter and grabbed a toilet paper roll, putting it over the smoke and inhaling deeply. "Fuck..."

"He's not sure. Would you like for us to ask?" Wanda inquired.

"Ask who?"

"Peggy. Her and Pietro are friends," Wanda said slowly and Bucky screamed. He sighed and inhaled again, moaning quietly.

"Well fuck me in the ass. Why is he friends with Peggy fucking Carter?" Bucky snapped.

"She's a nice girl," he heard Pietro say.

"Yeah, sure," Bucky scoffed. "Ill call you later, I have to go." He hung up and added more powder to the nearly gone pile, inhaling deeply. He finished the pile and grabbed his phone, trudging to his room and getting dressed.

Bucky grabbed a bottle from his nightstand and took a pill, swallowing it as he exited his house.

~•~

Bucky pounded on the door, grinning when Wanda greeted him. "You might not want to-"

"Be here? Why, is Peggy here? Good, I need to talk to her."

"No, she's not here."

"Damn," Bucky sighed, pouting. "Did you do something with your hair? You look really pretty," Bucky told Wanda, who blushed.

"Don't fall for it Wanda, he'll break your heart! You're too young for him!" Pietro shouted from the living room.

"I have to go anyways."

Bucky skipped down the street, stopping at a large house and knocking happily on the door. "Yes? Bucky Barnes?"

"Hey."

"To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I think you know."

"Well if that's the case then please, come in."

"Take me to your bedroom," Bucky whispered, following him upstairs. He shut the door behind them and tore his clothes off, attacking the mans lips. The man moaned, removing his own clothes and pushing Bucky onto the bed. "I missed you..."