One Shots {Sidepack/others}

Wroetojzl- collab

This a collab with UmbreTheWriter

Type-Angst
Ship- Wroetojzl 

Harry P.O.V

I had just put up another one of my Fifa videos. So I decided to look at the comments. The comments always make me scared I have a passed of depression but I try my best to be happy. Every time I put up a video I look at the comments. I try to avoid the mean ones but I always end up reading one. Then I can't stop. It's like all I want to do is hurt myself. The only person that knows about my depression is Ethan and he is really supportive. I'm surprised that the others haven't noticed especially lately. I've been really sad recently because I just broke up with my girlfriend. Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry. I scrolled thru the comments only looking at the good ones. Until one caught me eye, it real:

          “GO KILL YOURSELF!!

Those words hurt but maybe they're right. Maybe I should kill myself. No one would care. My funeral would be empty. I started to go thru the comments again but this time only looking at the bad ones.

“FUCKING FAGGOT!”

My heart twinged. I had questioned my sexuality many times before. That's one of the many factors that led up to my breakup.

“This is so fuckin shit who watches this gay fuck?!”

I slammed my laptop shut. I couldn't do this anymore. Tears are now pouring down my face and my heart is pounding. I cried freely, knowing that nobody was home.

I knew I had to at least say goodbye. They were going to film a couple videos at the sidemen house. They are far enough way that they can't save me. I take out a pen and paper and begin writing my letter.

Dear Simon.
You were always like a big brother to me. Sticking up for me if someone hurt me. You always teasing me like all siblings do.

Dear Vikk
You're quiet but the kindest. You have two different personalities. One is you being the kindest person I have ever met. The other is your badass I adore. You always put others before you self. You are a star in your own little ways.

Dear Jj
You're definitely the loudest which is good, I guess. You and I have similar humour. You're the best rapper I have ever heard. Your hair is not always the best but you rock it some how.

Dear Ethan
You have the best laugh. You laugh at almost everything. You have the best humor. You always take our insults. You have been so supportive. I'm sorry for letting you down. To my Best Friend this is goodbye.

Dear Josh
You are the most mature (most of the time). You will always be daddy af. You always make your fans happy and you have a fantastic beard.

I have streams of tears running down my face. All the letters have tear stains. But I can't write because of Tobi. When I think of Tobi I go straight to, caring, kind, loving athletic, hilarious. The list carrying on and on. He lights up my world. Every time I see him I immediately smile. But my heart hurts when I think of you. Your adorable smile,your awesome hats, your cute laugh,your…..EVERYTHING. I love you Tobi but I will never be able to say that to you. I know exactly what to write.

To Tobi
Your perfect, kind, caring, loving, athletic, smart. Absolutely perfect. You have a smile of God's, the voice of a mother and the body of an athlete. I could never get mad at you no matter how hard I try. You are the best person. There is only three words I really want to write to you and those are……. I LOVE YOU!!! Your are my one on only soul mate.
                                         Your admirer,
                                                             Harry

I sighed and left the note on my desk for my friends to find. Wiping my tears away, I walk to my bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet, I grab a bottle of my sleeping pills. I unscrewed the lid and poured the entire bottle down my throat. Almost immediately, my vision became blurry and I had trouble standing up. The last thing I thought of before all went black was a wonderful man named Tobi.

Tobi's POV-

I decided to stay home and relax since I haven't done that in a while. It's been 40 minutes since the boys left for the sidemen house. Except Harry, he said he was not feeling well and he had to finish editing a video. Maybe I should go check on him. He always been my second favorite (Josh being number one). His smile always made things seem happier. I pulled out my phone and texted him,
“hey, I'm going to go to your place if that's okay??”
Guess I should wait until he responds.

Five minutes later

I know I shouldn't be worried but he never takes him this long to respond. Unless he's in a meeting but he always tells us if he's going to meeting. That's it I'm going to his flat. If something happened I want to know. I got my keys and my phone and left my flat. I got into the elevator and pressed his floor. When the elevator stopped I was even more worried because he still hasn't responded. I ran to his flat and banged on his door. No answer. I banged one more time. Still no answer. I tried to turn the doorknob but it wouldn't budge. I backed up as far as I could before running as fast as I could into the door. The door swung open, but wow did that hurt. I groaned rubbed my injured. I noticed a note on the desk. Curious. I picked it up and began reading it. As my eyes skimmed over the note, my blood turned to ice. No. Harry can’t be thinking of this.... I ran to the bathroom and the door flew open. I gasped in surprise and fear. There he was, the love of my life lying there. He looked so lifeless. I ran up to him and checked if he had a pulse. My eyes started to water as I pulled out my phone as I dialled emergency. They said they would be here any minute. I grabbed his hand and started crying. Memories of the past couple of months washed over me. Harry had seemed a bit more depressed than usual. I should’ve done something. I shouldn’t have left the only person that I loved to die. I cradled his limp body in my arms and buried my face into his soft, blond locks. In seconds he was being taken away and I was left there, heart broken.