One Shots {Sidepack/others}

Why?

"Why? Why do we have
the will to live is it because of Happiness. Family. Friends.
Or is it just human nature
to. Maybe I killed myself
because I lost that part of my
brain that says not to.
Or it's in my human nature
not to want to live. Did that
even make sense? I always second guess myself. I'm never sure if I'm right. Why do think I don't talk?
I'm to scared to say something
wrong. Maybe even to scared
to lose people I love just
because I can't keep my
fucking mouth shout. The
person I love is dead.
Killed. No not murderd. Suicide.
Maybe that's what started it.
You know how hard it is to
see your best friend of over
Twelve years die. Do you know
how hard it is to feel his cold lips
on yours? To feel for his pulse and nothing was there? If you do
I'm sorry but if you don't and
you told me that everything
was fine. Well you where wrong. It wasn't fine. It never got better. The pain I felt everyday knowing he
wasn't there was deathly. I don't
even know how I lasted this long without him. You guys never knew about our relationship because
he was scared that you would
be the same as his parents.
Did you know they kicked him out when he was sixteen. That he lived with me until he could afford
a flat. I know you didn't know
because he was such a private
person. I've got to go know
the bath is almost ready
and I don't want it to over
flow........"

The same video played over and over again as he got in the bath. His warm dark chocolate skin warm to the cooling water. Tears flooded down his almost black eyes. His favorite snapback rests on his head.  A month after his secret lover of 10 years die just the same way he will. In the tube, wrists cut, bleed into the water. It didn't even hurt when the razor slide across his wrist. He was numb. The other sidemen found him a day later.

Tobi Brown was pronounced dead December 15th at 12:38am. Exactly after his lover and best friend Joshua Bradley died.