One Shots {Sidepack/others}

The Girl You Met At Starbucks (behzerk)

Josh P.O.V

She had to walk into your life.
She had to ruin everything. I'm the one that loved you. I gave you everything you wanted. She is beautiful I have to admit. I thought we had something special. I guess not. Now you will hear her screaming your name. The one that will here your laugh. The one who stayed up hours just talking on the phone with you. The one that gets to go on amazing dates. She is the one who get's to be your valentine. She is the one that will be there when your sad. She is the one that will hurt you.

I thought to myself as Ethan and his new girlfriend were cuddling on the couch. All of the sidemen decided to have a night together. That didn't go as planned since first it was Vikk who asked if his boyfriend Lachlan could join since he has flown from Australia. Then Harry asking if Freezy could join since they have just recently became a couple. Then Tobi asked if his boyfriend Rob could come. Then Ethan asked for his girlfriend Emily could come. Jj and Simon are dating so they were fine with it. I didn't want to say no so I just went with it. I'm currently 13th wheeling because I'm the only one without a date. My boyfriend had recently broken up with me to be with a girl he met at Starbucks. All the couples are cuddled together on the couches and I'm here sitting on the most uncomfortable chair ever, freezing cold. We are watching some romantic movie. I couldn't watch it though since I just kept thinking about my ex. He was so mean to me when we broke up. Saying I never mattered to him and he never loved me. I couldn't stand watching them together any more so I got up and left. I knew no one would care since they have there partners. I got to my room and immediately slid down my door. I can remember that day so clearly.

Flash back****

I was washing the dishes waiting for my boyfriend to arrive. The others aren't home so we have the whole house to ourselves. All of a sudden I hear the door slam shut and I jump. "Joshua Bradley get in here," he yelled. I was terrified. I walked to where the voice was coming from. "Josh it's over, I'm here to grab my stuff that I have left than I'm leaving," he boomed. "Why? Did I do something wrong? I love you," I asked. "I found someone else, and you should have never fell in love with me because I have never lived you," he said walking up the stairs to my room to grab his things. "What about all the things you said, your dreams that we had together?" I yelled. "I was lieing you had never meant anything to me!" He yelled. I had tears going down my face. I quickly grabbed my favorite sweater of his that he would always let me wear. He didn't notice so I hid it. "I think I got all my stuff, I will be leaving now!" He yelled.

End of flashback***

He knows  everything about me. Things my own parents don't know. I had so much pain. Old scares opened up that day. It was easier that feeling. Easier to damage something that was already broken. He never cared for me. He acts like nothing happened. The boys didn't care because he are on "good terms". I got up and walked into the bathroom. I looked like a mess. I got the knife that I had hidden in my bathroom. I pulled down my pants to see cuts that have littered my body since I was young. One year I didn't touch the blade. One year I was happy. One year I had a boyfriend. Now all I can do is cut. The blade has gotten sharper. The cuts have gotten deeper. Less and less people cared. Now no one cares. No one cares that I'm sad. No one cares if I cut to deep. No one would care if I died. I lift my shit up to see more cuts. Some burn marks you can still see. I have never cut my arms because I would never be able to hide them. I took the knife and just ran it across my thigh. Again. And. Again. Some deep. Some barley braking skin. The blood going down my leg. It looked beautiful. Red as roses. Seeing made me feel like I haven't lost the battle. I'm just on the battlefield wounded. I quickly wipe up the blood with toilet paper and flush it down the toilet. I rapped them so they wouldn't bleed through. I washed my face so it wouldn't look like I have been crying. I compose myself and leave the bathroom. I put on some black pants so if they do bleed through you can't really tell. I leave my room like nothing happened and put on a smile. Walk down stairs and into the living room. "Oh they you are Josh we were wondering if you want some pizza?" Vikk asked. "No I'm good but thank you," I said sitting back in my chair. Don't eat, your fat. Is all I can hear when I look at food or one someone asks me if I want some. Lazy. Is all I hear when I'm playing games instead of going for a run like normal person. Dumb. Is all I hear when I say something stupid or answer something wrong. Ugly. Is all I hear when I see myself in the mirror or my videos. Fake. That's what I am. Acting like nothing could hurt me, acting like I'm not sad all the time, acting like I'm liking everyone else. I'm a filler. Not meant to be hear. Lies are the only things that come out of my mouth. "I'm going to go to the store and I can pick up the pizza," I said. "Okay thank you Josh," Simon said. I left with no other words said. Again another lie. I'm not going to the store. I'm going to a bridge. The bridge me and him first kissed. The bridge were we both said I love you. The bridge were I would go if school was too much. The bridge I would go when they would yell. The bridge were I first cut. I pulled up just outside the forest where it was. It was hidden. Not a lot of people know about it. The only people that know are the people I thought I could trust. Most have broken it though. I got out and started to walk to it. I had a pad of paper and a pen. I got there and sat on one of the railings. I dangled my feet over the edge. I was over a big drop because to of the hills go off into ledges right over the drop so someone decide to build it but left it. I fixed it up a bit. I have come here ever since I was little. I started to right letters to people who were important. One for each of the guys, one for all of them, one for each parent and a few for some friends. I folded them all up writing their names on them. I stood up on the rail. I put out my arms and just step off. I could see my doom but I didn't care I was finally going to leave this hell whole.

Ethan P.O.V

We all were starting to worrie. Josh should be back by now. It's been over an hour since he has left. "Why don't we try to find him?" Tobi suggested. We all nodded but Emily. "I have to start heading home," she whispered in my ear. I nodded and she got up and left. "So where should we start?" Harry asked. I searched my brain for any stand out places he would be. "The bridge," I blurted. "What are you talking about?" Jj asked. "The bridge, he always went there just follow me," I answered. I ran out of the house and into my car. Tobi and Harry also  got in since we road together. I started the car and immediately started to drive to the bridge. I parked right beside his car. I knew he would be here. I started running through the forest trying to find it. It didn't take long to find. But there was now Josh just sheets of paper folded with a pad of paper and a pen beside them. We all got on it and look down. We were all in shock. There he was laying on the ground lifeless. How could he leave us? Why? I knew he had a problem but he was doing so good. It's my fault, I should have been there for him. But no I chose my girlfriend over him. I took steps back, falling to the ground, tears streaming down my face. "It's all my fault," I cried. My vision was so blurry. I had to brake his heart. I had to be mean to him. I had to chose her. I was the worst boyfriend ever. I loved him. I still love him. Why did I chose her? Why did I have to hurt him? "Ethan what do you mean it's your fault?" Tobi asked. "I knew he cut, I knew he was sad but he was doing so well, then I had to screw it up and hurt him," I announced. They all had shocked expressions on thier faces. Vikk pulled out his phone and called who ever you call. "I can't believe he is dead, what are we going to tell his parents? the fans!" Simon asked. I didn't care about his fans or mine. I only cared that the person I loved is dead because of me. The people came and put him in the body bag. We told them it was a suicide. We took the notes and all sat down and read them

Dear Ethan,

I love you.
I always will.
You hurt me a lot.
But this isn't your fault.
I made my chose.
I want you to be happy.
I wish you being happy was with me but that's never going to happen expecially now.
I will watch over you even if I'm in hell.
I knew you would come here first. Please get over me.
Don't dowel on me. Don't be sad. Be happy.
  
                                                 I love you,
                          Your ex Joshua Bradley

That was it. I notice no one was looking. I quickly got up and on the railing. Then I jumped. I will see you soon Josh.

The End