A Different World AU

Missing You, Missing This, Missing Everything...

#Bekky's pov#

Was it completely possible to dig yourself an early grave? If that ever makes sense then I'm sure it would. It still boggles my mind that I, Rebekka, don't have the guts. Chandler was standing in front of me, dwelling on the fact that I am probably some new girl he is going to have to get use to or push to the side. It feels like I am going to have to work for him all over again-Wait a minute. Work for it? What kind of world do you think we live in Bekky?

''Really Melissa? It seems... off'' He says suspiciously. Bad move on my part, if there was any chance of him trusting me now it is definitely gone. Realization crosses his face as he reaches for his gun again. I can't handle him pointing another weapon at me, if he does I might just let him kill me.

''Okay!'' I say putting my arms up in surrender.

''My real name is Bekky, well Rebekka but please, Bekky'' I say. Was it really that hard to say my name in the first place? I was scared, scared of him never remembering of who I was and I guess I kind of wanted a clean slate? I don't know.

''No last name?'' He asks curiously. My last name... Never will I ever tell anyone my last name. That name I will take with me to the grave, the only people that knew are already dead.

''No'' I answer back before facing away from him again.

''You just don't have a last name anymore or you don't want to tell me?'' He asks, more accusingly may I add. He has been quite bitter ever since I met with him yesterday. I can understand, I was like him. I came back, well some anyways. I shake my head in response, starring into his blue eyes for to long makes me insides swirl and head become dizzy. I play it safe and keep looking away from him, hoping the earlier events of today still don't linger on his mind.

''Why did you hug me?'' well there goes that theory.

''I missed you'' I answered honestly. I was sick of lying, I have been here less than one day and I have already lied!

''I don't even know you-'' He begins before I beat him to it.

''You did, I knew you before you got shot'' I say interrupting him. Now he was angry. I could tell he was almost ready to explode.

''Alright I think you have had enough time to talk, let's just get one thing straight, if you hurt anyone and I mean anyone'' He threatens, taking steps towards me making me turn to face him in fear. I have never actually been so scared of Chandler that he could possibly-

''I won't hesitate on killing you'' Shit I guess I am already a dead man walking. He walks away leaving the impression on me harsh. Fuck.... He is so god damn different. I turn back around to the house and begin to shake with the oncoming tears ready to come out. I needed them, I needed her. I needed San to tell me everything was going to be okay, she always had advice and knew exactly what to do. I wish I had Blake here to boost my confidence and help me with my sassiness. I wish I had Brittany here so she could tell me when I am stepping over the line and teach me how to leap over instead. All three of them, gone. Never ever can I ask either one of them for help ever again. I felt the first tear drop land on my left cheek.

''You will be okay'' I could hear Sam's soft voice in the distance. It was like she will forever be apart of me. Like wherever I go I will always have a part of her and her voice inside me (this is not creepy at all...). And Blake? His comes when I need help for when I feel like giving up, when I need confidence. Brittany? She does pretty good at calming me the fuck down.

''I really hope so'' I mumble aloud, still starring at their old house. Not today but soon I will walk back in there and maybe even live there again. Baby steps Bekky, baby steps. Instead I walked away and headed back to Andrew's place. What has happened today is enough to make me wanna past out for a month.

''You're back!'' Katelyn cheers as soon as I walk through the front door. I hug her immediately as she hugs me back just as tightly.

''I'm sorry'' we both say at the same time. I softly smile and pull away before noticing Judith and Andrew were both in the same room with us.

''Andrew'' I begin before he beats me to it.

''It's okay'' he says, bouncing Judith on his lap on the couch. I shake my head while a new set of tears come out my eyes and down my cheeks.

''No it isn't, I have missed all of you guys so much and because I am fucked doesn't mean I should treat everyone like they are too'' I say crying, finding a seat on the couch. He moves over so I could sit next to him, I lean onto him, my head resting on his shoulder, he wraps an arm around me and just holds me, letting me cry onto his shoulder.

''I have missed you guys all so much'' I say softly still crying.

''I think someone wants to see you'' Andrew says passing Judith who was happily chewing on her toy over to me. My god how she has grown.

''We have all missed you guys too. If you both are up to it, we can all meet up again tomorrow over dinner?'' Andrew suggests. Katelyn and I both nod in agreement. He nods to before leaving the room. I call out to him just before he does.

''Andrew?".

''Yes?" He calls back as he turns around.

''Thank you'' I guess this was my version of 'I love you', well for the time being.

''I love you too'' he says with a smile before turning back around and walking up the stairs. Katelyn comes and sits next to me, also playing with Judith.

''We are going to be okay'' Katelyn says starring at Judith in awe. I did the same. She was just always so adorable.

''Yeah, I think we are'' I say softly, letting Judith's giggles create a warm feeling to go through my body, warming me up with an emotion I was so desperately deprived of.

Love.

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~Stay Beautiful~