Silence is Suicide.

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

 Silence is Suicide.

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

Something felt as if it were clogging my throat. I felt a sensation burning in the bottom of my throat. I coughed, and finally sputtered out the name, "Annabel."

She turned and glared at me. "Go away."

"Annabel!" I screamed. "It's me, Emerson... Why are you running?"

She turned back toward me and started to approach. I didn't recognize the feeling I felt. I was excited, yet scared. I felt a bit numb to be honest. Everything blurred together. "Emerson get out of here. Why are you here in the first place?" 

I spoke softly, I wasn't angry with her. "Why did you leave? Why are you here? What's going on, Anna. I need answers..."

 "And they're answers I cannot share with you."

Her tone sounded harsh; she didn't seem like herself. I was a little shock about how apathetic she was. 

"Annabel, do you even care?" I felt tears threatening to fall. I would not let them. I blinked them away and looked away from her, her sight was overwhelming.

There was an agonizing silence. It felt like it dragged on forever. I waited in anticipation on what she would say. Then I heard her sigh. "Em..."

I looked back at her. I couldn't hold my anger in anymore. "I gave everything to you! You have all of me! What more do you want, Annabel? Please enlighten me. All this time I thought you could possibly be dead! All this time I wouldn't talk because of you! I suffered day after day and I kept breathing because I thought of you! Why, Annabel? Why? It's the least you could tell me!" I screamed. I was so furious that I had no answers and my number one source was standing right in front of my face. Her refusal made me weak with rage. I could barely stand... I could barely speak.

"You were never forced to do that." She spoke so apathetically. It was meaningless and emotionless. I felt so numb.

"I did it in honor of you. I was almost 100% faithful and I thought you'd come back. You never left my mind, or heart, for that matter. You stand right before my eyes and now you refuse to answer me. I'm sorry I don't understand." 

 "Don't be." she said after an agonizing silence. 

"My dreams..." I said having sudden recollection, "It was you, wasn't it? You were the one speaking to me. I know it was you. You lead me to find you via my dreams. I'm here so now let's go. That must be what you want, right?" I began to feel as if I were rambling, I don't know how it would make sense, but it could happen. I reached out to grab her hand and lead her home with me.

"No." The simple word cut me as I tried to reach for her delicate hand. My arm fell limp and fell back down brushing my leg.

"No?" I repeated in confusion. "But... I thought you..."

"I can't leave. It's not that simple."

"Annabel, why are you acting so strange?"  

She changed the subject. "I had dreams about you too, they scared me, but it isn't important."

This entire encounter was confusing me. It fucked with my mind and I didn't know if I was in real life anymore. I couldn't tell if this really was my Annabel anyway. She was hurting me more than anyone could ever hurt me. I don't know how much longer I can talk to her before it kills me.

"Annabel, I need answers and I need them now. You're killing me, babe. Is this even real? Is this just another dream? I'm so confused, darling. Please help me out."

"It's real and killing me as well. Emerson, I can't stand to see you. You need to leave."

"I won't leave without an explanation. Please..."

"Fine, but if I tell you, you need to leave. That means you can't come back to me. I'm gone. I shouldn't be talking to you now." She sighed, "You never gave up... ever. You're strong, Em."

I nodded, unsure of a compliment or burden. 

She whispered something inaudible, and led me over to a spot to sit down.

**

She stared at me. "Ask." she demanded.
"What were your dreams about?"

"You." She replied.
"I mean, what happened in them? How frequent were they?"

"They happened just about every other night. And obviously they were about you finding me or you being dead and you haunted me. You would always tell me things sometimes it was scary and others it was calming." She coughed a little and shifted a little, "I liked to sleep because I could see you clearly and hear your voice... You're just as I remember." She shifted again, "Okay, next question."

"Why did you leave? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I already told you I couldn't answer that."

"Please" I begged. "I really need to know." 

She looked to the sky and looked away from me. "I will say this only one time."

I looked at her eagerly. I nodded understanding.

"There was an... incident back home. I did something really bad. I had to leave so I ran away. I changed my name, and basically my entire identity. I couldn't tell because I couldn't let you know. I couldn't risk the pain. I can't believe you didn't hear about it... Or maybe it never connected that it was me... I'm sorry... I have to go now." She stood up and started to run. I jumped up and grabbed her by the wrist.

"No." I said while firmly grasping her wrists. "I lost you once; I am not losing you again. Finish."

"I can't. Let me go." Tears started falling from her eyes.

I pulled her in and hugged her tightly. Her warmth reminded me of how we used to be. Her head lay perfectly on my chest. I rocked her back and forth in my arms, holding her securely. I kissed the top of her head. She calmed down a few minutes later. She continued.

"Well after this incident, I faked my suicide. Being an Uncommon and all, no one really knew. But instead of killing myself off, you know I ran here. Please don't tell anyone, Em. Don't tell them I'm still alive. Don't tell them I'm here. Don't speak of me ever again. Live as if I never existed."

"I can't do that. You changed my life."

"Emerson. Please."

"What did you do?"

"Go look it up; I'm sure you can find it. Emerson, let me go. I need to leave."

She looked up at me; her eyes glistened with the tears. I sighed, not wanting to let her go, but having to. All good things come to an end. I stayed strong and my arms slipped off of her body. Her body heat was beginning to fade. She turned and walked away from me.
"Annabel." I called after her.

She stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

"Will I ever see you again?"

She exhaled, "No." She turned back and started walking again. My head hung low, and then I heard her speak again. I looked up.

"I never stopped loving you, Emerson. You never left my mind either. I never will forget you, or anything about you. Every word you've said to me will stay forever. You'll always be with me. I'm glad you found me. Goodbye... forever."

I crossed my heart. "I'll never forget you. You are my one and only love."

"Move on. Promise me before I go."

"Promise." As much as the promise hurt to say, I had to let her go. Goodbye, Annabel.