Vulnerable (Zayn Malik AU)

Chapter 24

My first day without Zayn was a nightmare. He drove me to school, but had to drop me off across the street because he wasn't allowed on campus. I've never felt more awkward walking to first period.

I passed through the student parking lot, clutching my economics book to my chest. Despite the fact that I had on Zayn's oversized sweater, I was still cold without him at my side. I felt like people just couldn't stop staring as I passed them. I mean, they usually stared anyway, but I knew they were staring at Zayn. I didn't like it when the attention was diverted toward me. I made it to Econ without bursting to flames from being the center of everyone's attention, and things only got worse from there.

We were assigned a partner assignment in first period. It was an out-of-class assignment, so I asked my teacher if Zayn could still be my partner. But, being the douchebag he was, he said Zayn would have to make it up when he returned. Lucky for me we had the choice to do the assignment on our own, so I took that option.

I was furious by the time I got to Ms. Fay's class. She took me outside to talk it out, and let me smash old projects while I complained about Mr. T.

After I was through making a mess, I swept it all up and spent the rest of the period sweeping myself to peace. It was all that could calm me down, even though after ten minutes there was absolutely nothing left to be swept.

In Creative Writing we began a new assignment on dialogue. The main point was to show relationships through a characters words, and their words alone. It sounded simple enough, and my morning had added just the right amount of fuel to my fire. I wrote a story inspired by my relationship with a not-so-delightful teacher.

We were given a week to do the assignment, but I was so angry the words just fell onto the paper. While everyone else in class took the spare time we were given to play card games and talk about the latest school drama, I was fixated on Zayn's empty seat. I thought it was hard enough when he had to sit across the room, never did I think about how awful it would be if he wasn't there at all.

When I got to Advanced Ceramics, I worked outside. Seeing Franky was something I didn't want added to my plate. I finished the pot I had been preparing for the art show, and loaded the kiln by the time class was over.

Part of me still expected to see Zayn on the bench outside, but I set myself up for disappointment, as it was empty. I felt like I had to literally drag my feet along as I went to the county kids room. Each step was another success as I forced my tired legs.

I hoped seeing the county kids would brighten my day, but my expectations were too high.

Jessie and I had just begun constructing paper flowers when a scream erupted from behind us. One of the other kids was having a tantrum, about what I didn't know. Jessie covered her ears and brought her face to her lap, not wanting to see the drama unfold.

The boy I came to know as Sal was being apprehended, but not before he threw a desk at the chalkboard. Once he was out of the way, the county teacher apologized and politely asked that we leave. Our teacher explained to us that this is just something that happens, and we shouldn't let it change our opinions of the other county kids, and especially not Sal. 

We were let out to an early lunch. Zayn was originally going to meet me across the street with some food, but considering I was forty minutes early, he wasn't there. So I walked.

The usual ten minute walk was cut down to five with how excited I was to see Zayn. I practically ran up the driveway to the door. I fought with my keys and opened the door as I ran inside.

"Babe!" I called out as I dropped my things by the door.

"Dais?" He emerged from my room, looking as confused as ever.

"Oh my gosh." I sighed in relief just from the sight of him and ran into his arms.

"Are you ok?" He laughed as he rubbed my back. The feeling of his chest vibrating from the chuckle just removed all of the problems the day created. "I didn't realize the time, I'm sorry. I know I said I'd pick you up."

"No, I'm early."

"Oh. What's wrong?"

"Today's been awful." I groaned.

"How so?" He stepped back to look at me. "That Franky guy? I'll handle him, just say the word."

"No, no. I didn't even talk to him. I've been avoiding everyone today, really." He brought us over to the couch and pulled me onto his lap. "Everyone was looking at me. I felt like a lost puppy..."

"Why?"

"Because you weren't there. I'm so used to everyone staring at you, and today you weren't there so I was the subject of attention. I hated it I don't know how you do that."

"I don't do that." He laughed. "They don't stare at me, Dais. I've never really been the subject of attention either."

"You're kidding right." I looked up at him, as serious as ever.

"They don't stare at me. They stare at US." I tried to recall it, and I guess he was right. Everyone always noticed us when our hands were linked, when he had an arm around me, when I was wearing his jackets, when he carried my stuff...they never really looked us in the eyes. Only at what romantic gesture was being done between the two of us. It made sense, I just didn't notice it at the time.

"Are you hungry?" Zayn broke the silence and I nodded. "I'll make you a sandwich. C'mon." Before I could even stand he lifted me up and brought me into the kitchen, setting me down on the counter.

We had an hour to kill before I had to go back to school for one more class. After I ate, Zayn and I sat down for a couple rounds of Mario Party. We're complete children, but in my opinion that's why we work. It wouldn't work if one of us had child-like tendencies, while the other was more of an adult. Those types of opposites don't usually attract.

Zayn and I are opposite in other ways. I'm more open, and bright. Whereas Zayn tends to bottle things up, and he looks at negatives more than positives. He's a work in progress, as we all are.

I informed Zayn on first period and the assignment he would have to make up. He wasn't half as mad as I was. Even when I explained my anger he just shrugged. I told him he'd have to work fast when he returned to ceramics, and I explained the dialogue assignment for creative writing. He seemed to have it all under control, so I left it alone once he knew what to do.

I went back to school with only my portfolio and a pencil, and sat in art alone for the second day in a row. I half expected Franky to comment on Zayns absence, but was pleased when he didn't speak to me at all. I thought I was going to have to work outside again in the yard that both my art and ceramics classes shared.

I was starting to not like the drawings that came about when Zayn wasn't at school. Lots of lonely shadows, black and white drawings, dark rooms...it was a vast contrast in comparison to my usual happy, colorful drawings. A kind of depressing change that Mr. Morningside was likely to read too much into.

"You know, I'm usually not the type to complain about how much school sucks, but...ugh." I dropped into the passenger seat of Zayns car, exhausted from virtually nothing.

"Well, the days over. Now all you get to worry about is interrupting our cuddle sessions by going to the bathroom." He smiled and I knew he was right. That was how the rest of our evening would be spent, and I wasn't even the least bit disappointed.



•••••



My second day without Zayn wasn't as bad as the first. I'd managed to find a back way to first period where I only passed three people and thankfully they didn't even notice me.

We watched a video in Econ, so it was dark enough to minimize the tension between me and Lilly. She was the last thing on my mind at the time.

In second period, I helped Ms. Fay unload the kiln, and spent the rest of the period organizing the glazes in the back closet of the classroom. Anything to keep me distracted. The girls at Zayns table gave me funny looks when I placed my bag on his stool, but in all honesty, I really didn't care. I saw how they stared at him. Zayn may have been blind to their desire, but I sure wasn't.

In Creative Writing, everyone worked on their dialogue assignments, but since I was done I politely asked to draw in my portfolio. For once my teacher was reasonable when she saw that I really had finished my assignment. That class was probably the longest of the day due to its unnecessary silence.

Advanced Ceramics was spent on the wheel. But to my luck I hadn't planned for it, so I wore my favorite jeans, and they got covered in clay. I did my best to clean them, but they were pretty much destroyed until I could get home and throw them into the washer.

Thankfully when I walked into fifth period, Mrs. Smith felt bad for the mess I had created of myself, and offered me some old PE shorts. That's the perks of having a Peer Resource instructor that doubles as the Aerobics teacher.

I graciously accepted the shorts and changed in the girls locker room before returning to class. As much as I loved that class, when Zayn wasn't there to entertain me I really saw how pointless it was. I mean, some of my classmates got so bored they created a game of 'base bag' where they rearranged the desks up against the wall and laid some folders on the ground to resemble bases. Then they found an old cardboard roll that used to be wrapped in poster paper and some bean bags. From there they made teams and began to play a game that resembled baseball, only with different equipment, hence the name.

Being my unnaturally clumsy self, I sat out and kept score.

Once the bell rang, I hi-tailed it across campus so that I could meet Zayn across from the parking lot. I got weird looks, but I'd been getting weird looks all week without Zayn by my side, so they didn't phase me.

"Nice shorts, freak." I heard a girl scoff from behind me, but I ignored it. "Aw, too scared to talk without your pet by your side? I thought we were friends, Toomey." I stopped in my tracks when I realized the comments were directed at me.

"I'm sorry?" I turned to see a smirking Kendall.

"Yeah, you should be."

"K." I rolled my eyes and turned away, continuing toward the parking lot.

"It won't last, you know." I ignored her. "He's waaay too hot for you." I kept walking, but my fists clenched. "I don't get what he sees in you anyway. You're totally gross."

"You're one to talk." I shouted through my teeth.

"Oh, please. My boyfriend would tell you differently."

"You just proved my point." I laughed.

"Such a slut." She was relentless.

"You know what?!" I turned around with my fists still balled at my sides. "You're a delusional bitch who doesn't know what the fuck is good for her. If you did you wouldn't mess with me. And for the record we were never friends, you know why? YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS. Nobody likes you, and frankly I feel sorry for you. You'll never know what it's like to have genuine people in your life because you're not genuine. You're fake. But, hey. That's your choice." I could see how angry she was but I continued to dig with each word. I've never really been one to fight with my hands.

"You." She seethed. "BITCH!" She lunged forward, but before she could reach me, someone jumped in.

"Hey. Hey! Calm down! What's going on?" Franky asked as both of us as he held her back.

"She's a jealous bitch." I shrugged and Franky seemed surprised by my choice of words.

"Well...well knock it off! Both of you! The campus monitors are watching!" I rolled my eyes and turned away. In my opinion I did nothing wrong, so I didn't need to stay around for a silly lecture.

I made it across the street and got into Zayn's car five minutes later than I should have, and of course he didn't let it slide.

"Took you long enough." He laughed.

"Yeah well any longer and I would've been suspended right along side of you."

"Wait, what? Why?" He turned to me.

"Kendall tried to start a fight."

"I'm gone for two days and my girl becomes a thug." He laughed and pulled away from the school. "Where are your jeans? I could've sworn that's what you were wearing this morning..."

"Oh, I was. I got clay on them." I pulled the reversed jeans out of my backpack.

"Someone was on the wheel." He took them from me and I nodded. "I'll wash them for you."

"You're like a stay at home wife. I like it." I laughed.

"Don't get too used to it."



•••••



Day three marked triumph. Nobody stared when I walked into Econ, I took a nap in second, third, and fourth period, and in Peer Resource we learned a new game to play with the Freshman. On my way to meet Zayn I caught a glimpse of Kendall, but thankfully she only glared at me. I was in too good of a mood to have to deal with another scuffle.

Zayn met me across the street with a pizza and we just stayed there for the thirty minute lunch. At one point a campus monitor noticed us, and looked as if they were going to come over, but thankfully they didn't. Technically they couldn't. We were off campus, so there was nothing they could do.

The bell rang and I could hear it from the car, so I made my way back onto campus with Zayn promising he'd see me in an hour. I was beginning to think I could actually handle the two days left without Zayn being there. All I had was Friday and then the following Monday to get through and he'd be right back at my side.



•••••



"Babe, get up. You've gotta go to school." Zayn's deep voice vibrated against my ear.

"Why didn't my alarm go off?" I yawned and rubbed my eye before sitting up.

"It did..." I turned on the lamp. "You turned it off and rolled right back over." His eyes were closed as he pulled my pillow close to replace me.

"I did not." I pulled out some sweats and a t-shirt. Whereas everyone else tries to look their best on Fridays -being that it's the last time everyone will see them for a whole two days (note the sarcasm) - I always dress like it's already the weekend, because in my mind it is.

"Must've done it in your sleep cause you did. I watched you."

"That's freaky..." I threw on my clothes and sat in front of the closet so I could slap on some foundation. "Get up I'm almost ready." I called back to Zayn as his breath began to slow. I couldn't risk him falling asleep or I'd have no ride.

"Poptart or bagel." He mumbled into my pillow.

"Poptart please." I laughed as I watched him practically roll off of my bed, slip on my small, aztec-print slippers, grab my bag, and trudge into the kitchen. His big feet were sure to stretch out my fuzzy slippers but he looked too cute for me to complain. Not to mention he bought them for me when I kept stealing his.

By the time I was ready, shoes and all, Zayn was waiting in the car. I deliberately didn't grab a jacket inside, so that I could wear his leather jacket. Even though I had three of his sweatshirts, it just doesn't look right to wear puffy sweats with an over-sized sweatshirt. It's a little overkill.

"I can't bring you lunch or pick you up after school. I have to go somewhere." Zayn said as we pulled up across the street.

"Ok." I sulked.

"But I packed you a sandwich so you don't have to pick at a salad." He smiled and reached into the backseat for a ziplock full of goodies.

"How'd you know I hate those salads?" I laughed, placing the food into my backpack.

"I dunno if you noticed but I watched you at the beginning of the year. I only ever saw you take one bite of those things before throwing them away."

"Hmm. Stalker." I joked before I kissed him goodbye.

In Econ we watched a video on corporate companies and how they're liars (big shock there), before being assigned to write a summary on what we saw. I enjoyed assignments like that, because they tend to be more opinionated pieces, and I'm no stranger to giving my opinion.

Ms. Fay allowed me to nap again in second period, under the agreement that advanced ceramics would be spent grading worksheets - an offer I couldn't refuse. I'll take any nap I can get. If only she'd listened to my suggestion on getting a cot for the glaze closet. We could both have benefited from that addition.

Creative Writing was boring as usual. Ms. Clark gave us the option to either work on our dialogue assignments or read the essays we finished the week before. I had actually voted for dialogue assignments, because it would've given me the chance to work in my portfolio. But my luck was beginning to fade.

Advanced Ceramics went as planned, for the most part. I corrected worksheets to hold up my end of the deal with Ms. Fay. Franky tried to talk to me a couple times, but I wasn't in the mood to deal with him so I put my headphones in. Class was over in no time.

For once, Peer Resource actually flew by. We'd learned another new game to play with the freshmen, and I wasn't quite sure when the games would come into play, but I didn't care. Nothing wrong with having some kiddie games in your repertoire.

By the time the bell rang, I'd never wanted lunch more. I grabbed my bag and power walked across campus, ignoring everyone I passed in the quad. It wasn't until I reached the lockers that I realized what I was doing.

I stopped mid-quest just before the gate to the parking lot when I remembered that Zayn packed me a lunch.

I definitely wasn't going to sit alone anywhere, and I had no friends I could go to, so I decided to head to class. As my luck proceeded, I was stopped on my way.

"What's wrong? Too lost without Prince Charming?" Kendall scoffed.

"Don't start." I tried to get by, but she blocked me. "MOVE." I growled through my teeth.

"Oh, please. Don't act like you're actually gonna do anything." She pushed my shoulder.

"Grow up." I moved to the side but she blocked my path again. "I'm getting really sick of you." I moved again, to no avail. I looked around for a campus monitor, more of a cry for help than anything, but when I didn't see one I decided to use a different tactic. "I. Said. MOVE." I curled my leg around her and pushed her chest just enough to make her stumble. She went to steady herself, but my leg did the job, putting her right on the ground.

I heard her shout profanities from behind me, but I was more determined to get to class.

I let out a sigh of relief when the door to art class shut behind me. The room was empty, but luckily Mr. Morningside left it unlocked. I took a seat at my table in the back and enjoyed my lunch, for what it was worth. I'd never missed Zayn more than I did in that moment. I may have been triumphant with Kendall, but I felt like I was the one who got knocked down. I couldn't even relish in my win, because I was too overcome with guilt. I decided to text Zayn, hoping he could get my mind off of things.


To: Zayn<3
- I miss you /:


I set my phone on the table and watched it for a minute as the 'delivered' note turned to 'read'. My elation was short lived when he didn't reply. He only read my message.

I considered texting again, but when the bell rang I focused my attention on cleaning my lunch out of the way.

Within no time the class was full, and I was sitting in Zayns seat, trying to avoid Franky at all costs.

"You coming tomorrow?" I was in the middle of drawing a bridge when Franky spoke up.

"I wish I could tell you no, but I actually don't know what you're talking about."

"There's a little get together tomorrow...I figured you knew since your boyfriend - he is your boyfriend right?" I nodded. "Since your boyfriend said he'd be there."

"And by 'there' you mean?" I humored him.

"Christian's house."

"What?" My blood ran still. "Zayn didn't tell me anything about this." I tried to keep my composure.

"He called Julia just last night...I was sitting right there."

"You...you know Julia?"

"Well, yeah?"

"Why am I just hearing so much about this girl if everyone knows her." My blood was boiling.

"I don't know...she's known Zayn for years."

"How would you know that? How long have you known Zayn?"

"Little over a year, why?"

"I...no reason." My voice was a whisper. I didn't know what to think. My understanding was that Zayn had no one. No one but Christian, but I was starting to see that wasn't the case.



•••••



When school ended, I put my headphones in and forgot the world. I'm not exactly sure how long it took me to get home, because time was the least of my worries.

Zayn wasn't back from whatever he had to do yet, and I couldn't just sit around waiting for him, so I decided I'd go on a run.

I changed into some yoga pants, figuring my sweats would be too heavy to run in. Then I threw on a sports bra, and a light sweatshirt. One of my own, not Zayns. I pulled my hair back and put on the hood so that I was comfortable.

I grabbed my bright blue running shoes and tied them on before putting my headphones back in, tucking my phone and key into the sweaters pocket, and taking off.

I've never really been a girl to run things off, nor a girl who enjoyed the feeling of burning lungs and aching calves, but I really had no other method of escape. I made it to the end of the street and I was ready to give up, but that was just my laziness kicking in. I had to push on.

I ran until I reached the town over. I'd never actually been there before, and feared I may not have remembered the way back. Any time I ever left Redding I always went north, toward Zayn's house.

I turned around at the city limit sign and ran back the way I came. It was somewhat comforting that I could run that far without collapsing to my death. I'd always figured that'd be how it ended. No good ever came of running in my book.

By the time I got home, Zayn's car was in my driveway, and the front door was wide open.

I stepped inside and removed my headphones as I shut the door.

"Well where could she be!" I heard Zayn shout.

"How am I supposed to know, dude." I passed the kitchen at the sound of my dads voice and saw the two of them in the kitchen.

"Daisy." Zayn let out a breath of relief. "Where were you?" He came toward me, but I ignored him and went straight to the bathroom, locking the door.

"You fucked up, dweeb." I heard my dad laugh.

"I don't know how..."

"That's the thing about girls...you'll never know. You may not have even done anything wrong, but she'll let you think you did and hope you come clean about something."

I considered going back out and telling him how wrong he was, but Zayn spoke up before I could decide. "No. Daisy's not like that." I could hear footsteps come near the bathroom, so I started the shower and double checked the lock on the door before getting in.

As much as I tried to take long in the shower, dreading what waited outside of it, I couldn't. It felt like I was in and out in under five minutes.

I didn't even have a chance to stall outside of the shower being that everything I needed was in my room. I took my towel off the rack and shook my hair before wrapping it around my body.

When I opened the door I was shocked to see Zayn sitting on the floor. His back was up against the adjacent wall, his arms propped onto his bent legs. He looked up at me with his head resting on the wall, a quizzical demeanor taking over his face.

I didn't say a word as I slipped by him and into my room. I took a seat on my floor and began to brush my still dripping hair.

When Zayn came in he sat behind me, and put his hand out for my brush. I ignored him, as I was finished already. I stood up and dropped my towel, walking toward my dresser to retrieve some pajamas.

"Jeez, Daisy!" Zayn said and crawled to shut the door. "Your dads still here." He scowled as he sat back on his heels.

"So? He's upstairs isn't he?" I asked as I pulled a shirt on, no bra needed. I had no one to impress.

"Yeah, but still. He could come down."

"And you'd hear him. His feet creak on the stairs. Chill." I pulled some sweats on over my boy shorts and walked out to the kitchen.

"Did I do something..." Zayn was wary behind me.

"Not at all." Technically, it wasn't a lie.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Kinda got it covered." I said flatly as I heated up a frozen dinner in the microwave.

"You're being cold." He reached for my cheek and I turned away.

"I'd like to think I'm warm, actually." I shrugged and grabbed my food. "Hot with anger." I took a seat at the table.

"Please talk to me." He whined, joining me at the table.

"Where were you today, Zayn?" I asked.

"I had to take care of something." He looked confused, as if it didn't matter.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" His confusion grew.

"I don't know... I figured we'd just hang out I guess?"

"Hmm. Not what I heard."

"What exactly did you hear, Daisy? You're being extremely accusatory at the moment, and I don't feel I've done anything wrong." His tone was growing more annoyed by the second.

"Well from what I hear, you're planning to attend a little bit of a kickback."

"Who said that?"

"You did. Last night. On the phone." He looked nervous. "To Julia."

"I made that call outside..you...you were spying on me?!" He jumped up. "Of all the nerve!" He began to pull at his hair, but I stayed in my spot, no emotion entering my face. "Don't you trust me?!"

"Nope." I said it casually, as if that small little word wouldn't rip his heart to shreds.

"You...really don't?" He looked like he was on the verge of tears, but I held my ground.

"Not really, no." I stuffed a bite of food into my mouth and shrugged.

"Oh." He was defeated. "I'm just....I'm gonna go."

I shrugged, not looking up from my food. I knew how cold I was being, and I couldn't help it. It was something I learned from my father.

It wasn't until Zayn left, that the tears began to fall.