Vulnerable (Zayn Malik AU)

Chapter 38

I was so frustrated. Everyone was right, even my grandma who'd never met Zayn knew what he was doing. Lilly told me what he was doing, and I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. I knew he would pull the whole "it wasn't a lie because you never asked" card, but that was bullshit. I was more pissed than ever. My anger trumped every other emotion I'd been coping with that day. Every tear I cried was idiotic compared to the rage I was feeling in that moment.

Did I want to give up on him? No. But, should I? That seemed to be the question of the century, and I just couldn't bring myself to answer it. Everything he'd done for me always seemed sincere, and he made me so happy... It wasn't until recent events that I'd started to question how our relationship was going. But, I guess secrets will do that to you.

The one thing that kind of made everything worse, was that I was sitting in the car with Zayn's mom. She was actually the one person I trusted throughout everything, but it shouldn't have been that way. It should've been the way it was before, when everything was better than I actually thought it was. But, would I rather live a lie, and be happy? Or is it better to just know the truth and move on with it however I decide to? Part of me wished I could just act like nothing was wrong, and hope that everything would work itself out. But, I knew that it wouldn't happen.

"Are you ok?" Trish finally spoke up as we were almost home.

"Huh? Yeah. Just thinking,"

"What about?" She didn't sound very interested, but I'm sure that was so I would be more casual about telling her what was actually going on in my jumbled head.

"Everything, really." I sighed and laid my head onto the window, letting the rain fall right in front of my face. "This whole mess I'm in."

"I don't want to pry," one of her hands left the wheel to exaggerate her words, "but, what exactly is the mess you're in? I'm kinda on the outside of all of this. I can see something is wrong, and I'll be here to support the both of you, but it is a little hard being supportive when I don't exactly know what's going on."

"I know." I sighed again. That was all I really did anymore. Sigh. "I want to tell you, Trish. I do. But, I just feel like it really isn't my place." In a way it was. I could tell her my point of view, and how I felt like I was screwed over. But, the things Zayn had done, and what he was involved with...it really wasn't my position to tell her. Not to mention how upset he would be if I did. I already felt distanced by him enough.

"All I know is...you're the best thing that's happened to Zayn since we've lived here. I still remember the first day he told me he saw you. He said he was sitting on a bench in the middle of the school or something-"

"The quad?"

"Yes! The quad. He said he was sitting on a bench, and you walked out of the office I think. Said you were the most beautiful thing he'd seen in all of his years." She laughed. "I assumed it was just a fling, of course. Figured he'd get over it. But, then one day he learned your name. And then one day he actually talked to you. Said he helped you when you dropped your books." I'd completely forgotten about that. Zayn looked so different back then. I could remember closing my locker, and right as I stepped into the hall, a boy bumped me. The two books I had in my hand fell, and Zayn was right there to pick them up. I didn't even see him until he was kneeled in front of me, offering me the large bundles of wasted paper.

"He told you all of that?"

"Yep. That, and every encounter afterwards. Well, maybe not every one of them, but I sure heard a lot. We were a bit closer back then."

"When did you stop being so close?" I felt like I was pushing the limits with that one, but it was something I'd always wanted to know. Whenever I was around, Zayn was rude to his mom, and it drove me crazy. Someone as nice as Trish didn't deserve the way he treated her.