The Diary of A Mad Black Drunk Man

Chapter 12: Babie's And Fools.....

(J.R. writes down a few things he's discussed with Counselor Michaels)

Counselor Michaels: Drinking was your biggest downfall Jerrick....

(J.R. looks up at Counselor Michaels)

J.R.: What???

Counselor Michaels: Drinking was your biggest down fall.

J.R.: What is that suppose to mean??

Counselor Michaels: Well just think about it.... The divorce with Tammi, being caught in bed with Lily, losing your job, Teddy P, Mr. Ellis. What were you doing before all those things occured?

J.R.: Drinking!!!!!

Counselor Michaels: Exactly, if you were sober those things probably would of never happened.

J.R.: But What about ??!

Counselor Michaels: Who? Leeroy? My theory on Leeroy is that you invite his ghost back. He never comes on his own. I will never know the pain you endured Jerrick but as I and everyone else has told you. You have to move forward, if not you'll be replaying this rerun episode of life for the rest of your life....

(J.R. stares hard at Counselor Michaels)

Counselor Michaels: Say what's on your mind!!!

J.R.: I'm mad I didn't kill him.

(Counselor Michaels takes off his glasses)

J.R.: All these years I've been mad because he didn't die on the account of me. Sure I would have went to prison for the rest of my life but I would have peace of mind. I'm never going to have a peace of mind.

Counselor Michaels: You will Jerrick...

J.R.: HOW???

Counselor Michaels: By letting go, but that's something you're going to have to figure out on your own.

(J.R. stares out the window)

Counselor Michaels: There's something else I want to ask you.

J.R.: What??

Counselor Michaels: With all your fighting, and hurting people. Do you ever expect retaliation.

J.R.: I've been through hell my whole life Counselor I believe that's retaliaton enough....

Counselor Michaels: Ummmmm okay let's change subjects. So! How was your 4 years in prison.?

J.R.: Actually it was 5 years, being that I was the first inmate to bust a glass window with my fist they added another year to my sentence. Nobody bothered me everyone respected me. Omar, Uncle John, and Bo would visit me Atleast 5 times a year in those 5 years. In the 5 years Lucas only came twice. Lily moved to New Jersey to look after her dying mother Carol. I couldn't drink in prison but I did pick up a new habit which was smoking cigarettes. Crazy Ass Rick James landed hiself in there for a year me and him became pretty close. I hadn't seen or heard from Tammi or my son my entire sentence. I really wanted to do better once I was released. I thought I was but when the day finally came to leave, all I thought about was drinking. It was 1992 and I hadn't seen the outside since 87. Freedom finally ranged.

Friday January 10th, 1992 (J.R.'s release from Prison)

(J.R. stands outside of Arthur Kill Correctional Facility)

(Omar pulls up in a 1991 Cadillac Seville)

Omar: Heyyyyy Fooool.....

(J.R. smiles)