Painting Monochrome ||Ereri/Riren||

Missing In Action

*Levi's POV*

It had been six days so far. Six days, 4 hours, 15 minutes, and 37 seconds since I had seen Eren. Not that I was counting or anything. The house was so dead and quiet without him, and frankly, the silence was fucking killing me.

Is he alright? Did he eat? Is he sleeping okay without me? Why isn't he answering my phone calls? God, I'm a fucking idiot.

"Eren... you're being fucking insane. I'm worried sick about you. Come home, please... call me."

That was the close to the eleventh or twelfth voicemail that I had left him. He wasn't answering my phone calls, text messages, nothing. I had no idea where he was or if he was okay.

"Get a hold of yourself, Levi...he'll be back," I muttered to myself as I went into the kitchen to get the kettle off the stove. Great, now I'm fucking talking to myself. As I poured the scalding water into the teacup, I could feel the hole in my chest growing larger.

He's not coming back, face it. You fucked it up, Levi. Why in the fuck would you do that to him? Idiot. Failure. Fuck-Up. That's all you do: fuck everything up. You need to get your shit together and stop being stuck in your own fucking world. Were you thinking about his feelings AT ALL?

The hole continued to grow as the thoughts ran through my head. Only then did it occur to me that I hadn't stopped pouring the water into the teacup, and now it was all over the counter. I groaned and grabbed the towel to clean up the water before grabbing my cellphone and dialing his number again. I needed to know he was okay.

"Hey, this is Eren! Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, I'm probably super busy or not paying attention as usual haha. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Later!" his voicemail was still as cute as I remembered. His voice gave me that sense of balance that I needed. Without him, my life was severely unbalanced.

"Eren...please. Just let me know you're safe and alive. I love you, Eren. Call me," I spoke softly before hanging up the phone and taking a seat at the kitchen table.

You fucked up. It's over. He's not coming back.

From that moment, I was unable to control any emotion that I was feeling. The self hatred for what I had done to Eren, the sadness that widened the hole in my chest, the loneliness that had settled in the silent household. The memories that he and I shared in that house haunted me. It was almost as if I could still hear that boyish laughter when he told a shitty joke, or his whining when I teased him about something.

Rage. Suddenly, the teacup and the kettle were across the room. The cup shattered into pieces once it hit the floor, and the hot water had splashed all over the wall and floor. I was angry. But I was angry with myself. Angry that I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and it had forced someone I loved to sever all ties with me.

And with that, I aimed for the rest of the glasses in the cabinets. By the time I was done, the floor was littered with shards of glass, and I couldn't stop the flow of tears that had come pouring from my eyes. I sat with my back pressed against the lower cabinets and my head resting on my knees, and for fifteen minutes, I cried. My shoulders shook with each heavy sob because frankly, my heart hurt. Not physically, but I could feel it shattering as I came to realize that Eren wasn't coming back. In just a few short minutes, I had managed to destroy something that I spent nearly two years building.

I got up from the floor soon after and decided to clean up the glass before I accidentally stepped on it and left a bloody mess, or in case Eren came back. I didn't want him to see how much distress I was in. So, like the normal Levi would, I grabbed the broom and began sweeping up the glass. Once the glass was gone and the water had been mopped up, I grabbed my car keys and decided to head out to the store. I mean, I did just destroy every glass that we owned in the house. I needed to get more dishes, you know....in case Eren came back.

While I was out, I decided to try his cellphone again. It rang once...twice...and then, he picked up. My heart skipped a beat and my blood ran cold as he spoke into my ear. He was alive. Safe? I wasn't sure.

"......hello?"

"Eren, where the fuck are you?" I was angry. I was angry that for six days, he had avoided all calls, texts, and voicemails. For six fucking days, he had left me with no way of knowing whether he was alive or not. I was fucking angry.

"I'm safe, thank you for asking." He was being a dick on purpose.

"Eren, don't play these fucking games with me!" I shouted, pulling my car onto the shoulder of the highway and putting it in park. I. Was. Livid. "You've been gone for six fucking days, refusing to answer the damn phone. I've been worried sick about you! I haven't slept since you left. Now WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?... You know what? I don't even care where you are. Just please... please come home. We can talk this out once I've made sure that you've eaten and are safe."

"I'll come home when I'm ready, Levi...I'm sorry. I can't come back now. I need to get myself together."

"Eren, don't do this," the desperation in my voice was not a secret. I missed him with every fiber of my being. That giant hole in my chest was growing as my heart cracked even more. He wasn't coming back. "We can work this out. Please, I love you. You know that. I love you, Eren. Just come home..."

"I'll be home in a few days...goodbye, Levi..." he sniffled. He was crying, I could tell.

"EREN, W-" the line went dead before I could stop him. Rage, sadness, self hatred, it swirled through me simultaneously. I slammed my fist into the steering wheel and leaned my head back against the headrest. The tears couldn't be stopped. They ran down my cheek and dripped off my chin as my mind replayed everything.

The first time he stepped into my office, those green eyes caught my attention. The first time we kissed, the softness of his lips made my heart flutter, as much as I hate to admit it. The first time he stayed the night at my house, the redness of his cheeks when I teased him about being nervous was the most adorable thing about him.

And now, it was all coming to an end, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I had gotten so used to being around him, sleeping with him in my arms, eating across the table from him, hearing him getting ready for work early in the morning. The silence in the house was what I couldn't stand the most. Without him, it was like no one lived there anymore. I was nothing but a ghost in that house without Eren, let's face it.

Once I had brought the new dishes, I made the dreadful journey back to the empty house. Maybe he changed his mind. You know how indecisive he can be. Maybe he's at home right now. Oh, don't fucking delude yourself, Levi. He's not coming back. He'll come home, get the rest of his shit, and that'll be the end.

I pulled into the driveway and got out, carrying all the bags of dishes into the kitchen. It would take me at least two hours to clean and put away all the dishes.

After a silent hour had passed and I had cleaned the dishes with bleach and Dawn dish detergent, I began to reorganize the cabinets and put the dishes away.

The sound of the front door closing alerted me for a second. Probably just that annoying ass Hanji coming to try and get me to eat again. When I didn't hear her annoying squealing or loud calling of my name, I knew something wasn't right. I stopped organizing the dishes and listened for a minute.

"Levi?"

I stood frozen in the kitchen for a few seconds, then slowly made my way to the kitchen entrance. No fucking way.