Is it wrong? - An OsoChoro Fanfic

Shut up.

[ Karamatsu's POV ]

~

Was this how it was going to be then from now on? I thought to myself as I sat on the roof, staring up into the sky. I held my guitar in my hands. Singing would help me clear my mind, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Especially since Ichimatsu had followed me up here, which was really odd. He sat next to me not saying anything. We both just sat in silence. Ichimatsu was looking down, hiding his face. I could only wonder how he was taking this. If I were to say anything it'd probably make things worse, so I stayed quiet.

"Karamatsu.." Ichimatsu suddenly spoke up.

"Y-Yeah?" I stammered.

"Do you think the rest of us should also start to leave the house, get jobs, find someone..?" He asked me. I froze, not knowing what to say. I didn't like thinking about a life away from the rest of my brothers. I wanted to stay with them, all of them. But that seemed impossible at this point.

"Well. I don't know but I'm not going to. Don't know what everyone else will do but I'm going to stay here for sure." I replied. Out of no where Ichimatsu embraced me in a huge hug. He buried his face into my shoulder while shaking.

This wasn't like him at all. He would never hug me of all people. My guitar had been brushed to the side next to us and out of my hands. I didn't move I just stayed frozen in shock.

"I'm going..to stay here too.." He said through tears. One of the few times I've ever seen him cry. I rubbed his back gently trying to get him to settle down.

"Ichimatsu.."

"I just want us to stay together..even though you're painful and obnoxious you're still my brother. We're all still brothers..and I don't want anyone else to leave."

"Don't worry. I'm sure no one else will be leaving. I think everyone else wants to stay together too!"

"You really..think so?"

"Of course! And I'll always be here for you. You can always count on me, my brother!" I smiled.

Ichimatsu let go of me and wiped the tears off his cheeks.

"Don't say a word about this to anyone..or I'll kill you." He glared at me. Sweat trailed down the side of my face.

"E-Eh of course of course I won't tell a soul ahaha.." My voice trailed off.

"No I mean. I want to tell you about something. Something I haven't even told to Jyushimatsu."

I was startled. Ichimatsu was trusting me with something he had never told a soul. I felt so loved, oh my dear Ichimatsu what is troubling you, I thought to myself.

"Yes..? What is it?" I asked.

"You know how I've been going to the bath house on my own for the past few months?"

"Y-Yeah what about it?"

He then rolled up the sleeves on his hoodie, showing me his arms. It was obvious that Ichimatsu had depression but I never thought it was this serious. I stared at the multiple slashes and cuts all over his wrists. They seemed to trail up to his shoulders. Some deeper then others. It looked as if both of his arms were practically covered in blood.

"Ichimatsu.." I started. He turned and locked eyes with mine.

"What's caused you to do this..?" I asked him in the most serious tone I could muster. He was silent, not saying a word.

"What has caused you to hurt yourself?!" I yelled as tears started to trail down my cheeks.

"I..always have nightmares. About the six of us not being together anymore. Without all of you...I won't have anyone else. I'll be alone. And I don't..I don't want that.." He uttered.

I rolled his sleeves back up as I didn't want to look at his wounds. He was quiet as I did so. I wanted to say something but the words just couldn't come out.

"Don't tell anyone else that I've been.."

"I'm not going to. Just promise me you're not going to try to kill yourself." I told him. He turned away and nodded slightly.

"You need to promise me Ichi."

"I don't have to promise anything." He snapped back.

"There's still the five of us. We need to stay together. No one else wants anyone to leave. So you'd better not either. We all need you here." I told him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"No. None of you need me. Shut up."

"Yes we all do! Me, Oso, Totty, and especially Jyushimatsu. We all need you and want you to stay."

He was quiet again. I wrapped my arms around him and held him in another warm embrace.

"It's going to be okay. I promise."

He hugged back and held his hands tightly on the back of my hoodie.

"S-Shut up..idiot.."