Eggshells; funny thing about them. Let's say, you dropped half the egg shell you just cracked into a bowl, and you go to clean it up. Your main goal is to not make more of a mess for yourself when you do this action, so you try not to step on it. Well, the similarity between an eggshell and me, is we're treated the same.
Shortly after my mother had come home from work, she brought me to my bed and tucked me in. I wasn't tired, but oddly enough, my mom playing with my hair and scratching my back did the trick. I may have not felt tired, but I assure you I was.
Do you know what comes with sleep, though? Well, let me tell you, dreams. Sometimes, your mind conjures together some of your worst fears and puts them into your conscious, creating a first person movie. They don't always have to be your biggest fears, though, they can also be memories. Vivid and horrible memories. These are nightmares, but real life.
"I love you, Bella and I'm not afraid to admit it anymore." My heart warms as he stands in front of me, looking distraught from me almost walking away. He's so vulnerable. And then he's disappearing.
"Gavin?" I panic. "Gavin?"
"Then why do you talk to them!" What the heck?
"Because they owe me," he snaps back, looking at me with eyes in flames.
"Owe you for what?" I ask exasperated. This time, I'm looking at myself talking to Gavin. He looks pissed and so do I, what are we fighting about?
"Nothing you need to worry about," his voice softens.
"Gavin?" I question, but my voice isn't heard amongst them.
"Bella!" He calls after me, well, dream me, his car door slamming in the process. "Dammit, Bella."
"Just go home, Gavin," I wave him off. "Go to another party with your "friends"."
"It's not like that," he snarls and grabs my elbow, stopping any further movements of me.
"What is it like than?" I question. "Huh?"
"I didn't want to burden you," he sighs, and pulls me towards him so our noses are almost touching. "It was all before I met you. You have to know that."
It was all before I met you. Before I met you. What? No!
"No!" I scream, tears spilling out of my eyes as I watch my dream self giving into him. He was talking about the bet. "Gavin, no!"
"Bella! Bella wake up!" As if a bucket of cold water spills atop me, I burst up into a sitting position, visible sweat drops dropping down my forehead. "Bella?"
A sob bubbles up from my throat at that exact moment, my brother wraps his arms around my body, letting me cry into his shoulder.
It looked so real. And it was, once upon a time that had happened. Once upon a time I had been so stupid to realize the second meaning in Gavin's words. I know what it is now.
"What's going on?" My mother comes into the room sounding panicked.
I don't speak, just let my eyes close as I cry my heart out for how truly broken I am.
•••
It's Monday, but I'm not going to school. I barely got any sleep last night due to that scary ass dream - memory - and my mom had called into work so she can look after me.
Apparently, they're worried about me doing something drastic. I heard my brother and mom talking in the kitchen this morning when I went to get some water. I knew shortly after they said drastic that they meant suicidal things. Trust me, I wish I could, but I can't leave my family like that.
YOU ARE READING
Too Complicated
Teen Fiction"I remember his face, his eyes that begged for forgiveness, his body as it shook with anger and emotion. I remember how my world fell apart right before him and how he watched me completely disintegrate because of what he did. What he committed. Th...
