Too Complicated

Chapter 69.

I don't lift my eyes from my food even though I feel Devon's practically drilling into my head. I know my mom is probably wondering why we aren't talking like we normally do, but I could care less. Devon messed up, and instead of fixing it and telling me the exact reason why this happened to me, he let it go.

I thought so many things of my brother, but not once had I deemed him a cheater or liar. It hurts now knowing everything that's happened was basically because of him. True, Darren could've gone about things a different way, maybe having to do with my brother, but this is the way things turned out and everyone has to live with it.

I'm not picking Gavin over my brother, I have no idea what I'm going to do for gods sake, but that's just it. I want to believe Gavin and forgive him and live happily ever after, but life isn't a fairy tale. At the same time, I want to have trust in my brother and believe that he didn't know how bad his actions were, yet I can't.

And that's why we are where we are right now, picking at our food and purposely ignoring each other.

"How was your day, Bella?" My mom asks, obviously sensing the tension.

"Good." My voice is hostile and I hate it. I shouldn't be acting this way towards my mother, but I'm so confused.

"Okay," she breathes out. "Devon?"

"Fine," he grumbles.

"Alright," my mom sets down her utensils awfully loud onto the glass place. It jolts me from my spot, bringing my eyes to her. "What is going on with you two?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Devon shakes his head, and I roll my eyes.

"Bella?" She questions, my eyes move from Devon back to her. I don't know what to say, and she'll easily be able to tell if I'm lying.

"Devon and I aren't on speaking terms right now," I tell her, raising an eyebrow at my brother when he snorts.

She eyes the both of us. "Why is that? I've never heard of a time that the two of you don't talk."

"Well, times change," Devon answers her, but his attention is on me. I meet his glare with my own.

"Yeah," I sarcastically remark. "And apparently people too."

"I could say the same," he nods, pushing a forkful of mashed potatoes past his lips. I feel my anger spiking at the meaning behind his words.

"Some more than others," I spit, low key.

"I wouldn't say that," Devon smiles. "Maybe the person was always naive."

My eyes nearly widen in shock at his words, but then the anger is taking over. "Maybe, and maybe they've always been a conniving, cheating-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," my mothers voice cuts off my rant.

I'm breathing heavy, both Devon and I glaring at each other. I can't believe it's come down to this. After everything...

"Would one of you please explain to be what is going on?" Mom begs sternly.

I suddenly feel like crying as I stand up from the table. "I'm not hungry."

"I'm not hungry." I'm never hungry anymore. My dad has been trying to get me to eat for the past two days, and I know he's getting impatient.

I hear him talking on the phone in a hushed tone, must be my mother on the other line trying to calm him down. No one knows what to do, but what they don't know, is that; neither do I.

Thinking about the past brings up unwanted emotions and has me doubting what I feel nowadays. My distaste towards Devon's actions, my sympathy for Darren, my hope for Gavin, I don't know if these feelings are right. And maybe there is no right way to feel, that it's whatever, but maybe it's not.