Too Complicated

Chapter 66.

I shouldn't have fell asleep in his arms, I shouldn't have woken up to his arms around my waist, and I definitely shouldn't have looked at his bare chest. Three things that will not help my situation end up being what I do when I first wake up from a night of sex. Something is seriously wrong with me.

Gavin looks at me, worry and concern laced in his eyes probably gouging to which my reaction will be, but I'm just stunned right now. I really have no idea what to say or what to do, I can't tell if I consider last night a mistake or not and frankly, that scares me.

I look away from him, holding the sheets to my chest as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. My back is now facing him, something that is great at the moment.

"Bella." I close my eyes and bite my lip as the bed squeaks from his motion of sitting up I presume. "Talk to me."

I shake my head, feeling so many emotions cloud my body. I'm going crazy just sitting here.

"Say something, anything," he demands, his voice soft yet stern. I sigh and stand up while holding the fabric to my body. I just need to go home and get myself together. "You regret it."

Do I? It seems like a statement, but I feel like it should be a question. I haven't thought about the events of last night enough to determine whether I regret it or not, I can't answer that.

Instead of answering, I spot my shredded panties on the ground and my face heats. Deciding I really have no choice, I slide up my shorts without underwear and then my bra is next.

"Bella." I hate the way he says it, like I'm hurting him by not answering. And maybe I am, but I can't give into it. "Maybe last night didn't happen on the best of terms-"

"Best of terms?" I snort, feeling an anger ridden emotion enter my blood stream. "We aren't together, Gavin. We haven't been for six months, and on top of that, I know why we aren't together."

He looks pained as he runs a hand through his hair, looking away from me for a second before our eyes connect again.

"Then let's talk," he says and I shake my head, but he stands up. "Let's talk about what happened, I'll tell you everything-"

"I don't want to talk, Gavin," I snap, my eyes starting to sting. Just the thought of that day has me looking away from him in disgust. "Please, just take me home."

He looks away from me now, his jaw ticking. I don't know if he's angry or beyond this situation, but he begins to dress. There's an empty feeling in my chest again. It was temporarily filled last night while with this guy that made me feel like crap for all those months. It doesn't make sense to me, and I know for a fact it won't to other people, too.

"I'll be out in my car," he tells me with a slight edge to his voice before walking out of the room. I blow out a breath when he's no longer in sight, looking up at the ceiling.

I think you made it worse.

I wouldn't be surprised.

Why did I have to put myself in this position? Why did I have to give into what my heart needed last night? It's done nothing but make everything that much more complicated. I don't know what to do now. I'm even more lost than I was all those months ago.

I grab my phone that is now dead and walk out towards Gavin's car. I don't look at him when I take my seat, but he doesn't bother to acknowledge me either. All progress has been washed down the drain.