ocean eyes

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the room slowly emptied out. he got a lot of compliments for his speech, and he thanked the people giving them.

he was alone with natsu and saeko in the end, and he walked with them to the coffin where iwaizumi was lying.

he was wearing a suit, eyes closed and hands folded. he could just be sleeping.

oikawa's heart jolted as he realized that pretty soon, he'd be six feet underground.

saeko squeezed his hand. "we'll give you a moment, okay?" she smiled at him. he nodded thankfully, and natsu hugged him quickly before she exited the building with saeko.

oikawa pulled up a chair next to the coffin, taking iwaizumi's cold hand.

"hey there, iwa-chan," he whispered, using his other hand to caress his cheek. "i'd like to ask you how you're doing, but i don't believe in an afterlife." he bit is lip. "i'd love to, though. i hope there is one."

he angrily blinked his tears away.

"i won't cry."

he rubbed his eyes.

"i won't..."

a tear spilled out.

"shit," he whispered as he cried anyway, sobbing into his sleeve.

"it's so hard, hajime," he cried. "i've tried and tried and tried but you won't leave my mind." he gasped for air. "i honestly have. i'm so sorry. i'm not strong like you are."

he tried to muffle his sobs, hoping he wouldn't be heard. he just promised not to cry. he didn't want anyone to know.

"this is our last moment together," he whispered, taking a deep breath. "i'm never going to see you again. i can't accept that." he pressed iwaizumi's hand against his lips. "your skin is so cold, hajime."

he squeezed his eyes shut.

"why can't you just wake up?"

but he didn't wake up. and soon enough, oikawa's sobs became fainter.

hajime wasn't going to wake up.

he slowly wiped his face, looking at his dead boyfriend.

"i'm sorry," he whispered. "i'm trying, hajime. i'll keep on trying. but i need to break down sometimes." he stood up, and leaned over to press a soft kiss against his cold lips.

"i'll always love you, you hear me?" oikawa whispered. "you'd better wait for me, wherever you are." he kissed him one last time before reluctantly standing up, and folding his hands together.

that was when he noticed the piece of paper sticking out of his suit.

he took it out carefully, only to find that it was an envelope, packed to the brim, about to burst open.

'to tooru' it said on the front. he carefully turned it around, and read the text written on it sloppily.

'dear tooru,

if you've found this, i can safely assume you broke down for a moment.

that's fine.'

oikawa clasped one hand over his mouth.

'this envelope contains memories of us. i wrote them just in case this would happen.

it's okay to be sad. i'd be broken if you died, too. but i know you'll try.

i love you. i always have and always will.

love, your best friend and faithfully devoted boyfriend, iwaizumi hajime.'

oikawa put the envelope in the inside pocket of his suit, smiling as tears ran down his face, folding iwaizumi's hands together. he couldn't resist leaning down one last time to kiss his forehead, his nose, and his lips, as he used to do so often, especially in kyoto.

"i love you too, iwa-chan."

-

a/n

send help this fic is breaking me