29.

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by -tythegreat

by -tythegreat

Kian.

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I've decided to do something different with my project. I know that It's suppose to be about how sexuality isn't a choice but since I have a different view on the subject now I'm gonna have to re-do the whole entire project and I'm gonna just finish this by myself and If my friends want to continue to use the shit that they have then they can create their own project and add those clips in and I'll just do what I want to do and get graded separately and I'm even thinking about doing a little tribute for Andrea in the end of the whole entire thing but all of this is a big IF because like I told my mom If she doesn't make me an appointment for therapy tomorrow then I'm not doing anything , I won't take care of myself , I won't eat , I won't move , I won't talk , I'll literally kill myself slowly because I don't think I'm worth anything right now.

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Sam.

''SAM.'' my mom ran and fell into my arms. She couldn't believe that I had HIV and HIV does not have a cure for it and the doctor also said that I've had it for awhile and It kills me because I never knew that I had it , I've always ignored the signs that I did have but I don't even wanna talk about that. I just wanna live out my last days being happy If that's even possible at the rate that my life is going.

''SAM , WHO DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH?'' my father pulled on my arm.

''IT DOESN'T MATTER.'' I pulled away from him.

''I just don't wanna get him involved into this okay?''

''you don't wanna get him involved? look where he has gotten you.'' I can't really blame him for this because I'm the one who didn't use protection and sometimes condoms don't always work so I blame myself for this. It takes two people to have sex well in my situation It only took two and he's part of the blame and so am I.

''can we just let this go and let me die in peace.''

''SAM DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.'' my mom cried more.

I ran upstairs to my room and locked the door.

I wasn't afraid and I don't even know why. I wish I cared like my parents did but I just don't give a fuck about living right now.

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Jc.

'' You came home with the biggest smile on your face about how happy you were about this project and now that I look at you I'm afraid that this project has messed you and everyone else up.'' my mom tried to cheer me up but that whole sentence was not very uplifting and yes , I was excited about this at first but I didn't think death would come after it , I didn't think that I would change into someone that I wasn't and I didn't think I would fall in love with my ''enemy'' but I DID . The SEXUALITY PROJECT IS OVER.