Captured Moments.

Ch.4 ~ Heartbeats.

I could feel his heartbeat. I could feel all their heartbeats. But they couldn't feel mine. It always aches to know that they can't ever see me again, that they can never know that I'm actually still here, that I'm here with them forever. Eventually you get used to it. But seeing him this way will always kill me, even though I'm already dead. His eyes are empty pools of grey, steel coloured pupils that seem to stare through you. They tear up my dead, non-beating heart. Knowing that I can't help him be happy again and see him in pain, hurt more. Seeing him hurt, hurt me.

It's like being drowned, a feeling that I always have. I've had it since I woke up this way - dead - and honestly I don't know why. It could just be the overwhelming feeling of everything, but I know that feeling is more like suffocation, a feeling that hangs in the air around me. I wonder if they can feel it too?

I wandered away to the between, a waiting place I suppose you could call it. It's everything all in one place where ever you want to be. But right now it's a meadow full of green grass and multicoloured flowers. Tree's surround it , hiding it from civilization even though this place is only full of the dead and lost souls.

Over in the far corner, giggles alarm me. My head shot towards the sound spotting a group of cheerful, teenage girls. They seemed normal enough, but as soon as they arrived, they left. It wasn't odd to see them slowly fade away the further they walked. It happens quite often in the between.

It was quiet today, which I guess is a good thing, less deaths. I lay back and relaxed, but not enough to bring back unwanted memories. Just as I lay down I heard a whimper. I shot up and my eyes searched for the cause of the sound. Nothing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened them calmly and right there, hidden in a dark corner, was a girl a year or so younger than me. Her pale white skin stood out from behind her scraggly black hair. Her body was trembling, was she cold? I slowly made my way over to her, why was she sitting down? Was she okay? As I got closer I noticed her blue skinny jeans and black woollen jersey. Her feet were clad with red converse all stars. Her face looked as white as a ghost although I guess she was one.

"Are.. Are you alright?" She stopped her wailing but didn't move. "Excuse me? Um... Do you need help?" She looked up at me and I felt bile rise in my throat. Her face was mangled, if I knew who this girl was, I definitely wouldn't recognize her now. She just stared at me, with piercing blue eyes, the only part of her face still intact. "Can you fix this." Her wounds looked incredibly painful yet she wasn't crying over the pain, I could feel it. She was crying because of what she had gone through. "Uh, just picture yourself." She winced.

"My face is horrid, isn't it."

"No! It's just... uh... a little cut." She shook her head in disbelief. I could see the pain in her eyes as they turned to me. "Help."

My breathing picked up, normally the dead come to the afterlife without their past wounds. On the rare occasion they arrive with all of the injuries that they had suffered throughout their death. Usually when this happens it is because that being went through the horrible trauma of a torturous death. Murder. But a murder beyond all others. It's clear that this girl had been through that. She didn't have her face intact, and that couldn't have been an accident.

I bent down to her curled in body. "Listen to me and do everything I tell you." She shivered as a tear dropped from her eye and onto her jeans. She nodded. "Focus on the pain, focus on your injuries. Imagine that pain turning into comfort." She stopped shaking, and she stopped crying. She sat hugging her knee's, waiting for my next step. "Now, imagine your injuries, one by one, healing themselves." She remained in her hidden position. I could feel the determination radiating off of her, I could feel her healing, but I couldn't feel her heartbeat.