50 Shades Freed

Chapter 24

I sat in my body listening. Simply listening to the voices floating over me. I have no way to keep track of time though, all I know is that Harry has yet to leave my side. He talks to me all the time filling me in on different things that he assumes I want to hear. I can tell that he's losing hope. He doesn't think I'm gonna wake up. I want to. More than anything. 

"Son?" I hear the voice of Ann. She doesn't get a response and her voice travels closer. "Taylor told me you haven't been sleeping" 

"I can't sleep...not while Niall is here. Like this..." He sniffles 

"Niall would want you to be taking care of yourself. You've barely eaten or slept in almost a week" I can tell that she's worried about her son. My mind flashes back to Harry as a small child being taken into a foreign family not sleeping or eating.  

"I just want him to wake up mom" Harry whispers. I don't think I've ever heard Harry call Ann mom before. It makes him sound even more vulnerable. 

"I know honey" 

I can't bare hearing him like this. I want to wake up. I want to be able to hold my husband knowing that yes he is a stubborn fuck but I love him. I've married him for better or worse and I can't lose him. And he can't lose me.

I do my best to focus. Focus on moving Niall. 

When I finally gathered the strength to open my eyes the room was dark and quiet. I slowly look around the room seeing a sleeping Harry across the room. I run my fingers through my hair feeling a sharp pain in my lower back. I hiss in pain and see Harry jolt up in bed. "Niall" 

"Yeah?" My voice comes out scratchy. Before I can say anything else Harry comes over to me slowly wrapping his arms around me. I do my best to return the hug but fail and just let him hug me. 

"Baby I'm so sorry" He whispers

"I know you are" I look up at him lying back down on the bed. I lift my hand moving his messy hair from his eyes. He needs a hair cut. He sits down next to me and for a moment he stares at me. I arch my eyebrow. "Why are you looking at me like that" 

"I was utterly petrified that I wasn't going to be able to see those bright blue eyes again" I send him a soft smile letting out a small yawn. How could I be tired? "I thought I was going to lose you Niall..." 

"I'm fine...everything is okay" 

"Everything is not okay. I treated you terribly because I was being selfish. I understand wanting a family...I just don't understand why you would want to start a family with a man like me" 

"You're my husband...why wouldn't I want to have a family with you?" 

"I wouldn't know the first thing about being a parent...I don't think I'd be good at it. You would more than likely but me? No" I roll my eyes at him. "What did I do to deserve an eye roll?"

"You would be an amazing father and shame on you for saying otherwise." Harry shakes his head. "Are you just saying that you want to have a family because you feel it will make me happy?" I'm not sure I want to trust his word. We've both been through a traumatic experience and could be saying thing's that we don't fully mean.

"I think 9 months will be more than enough time for me to prepare" He kisses my knuckles and I smile as best I can. Harry rests his head against my hand and I gently run my fingers through his hair. I know that he can be an insensitive jerk but somehow I never find myself falling out of love with him.

He is perfectly imperfect in a way that my heart skips beats just seeing him. He will never understand how I feel about him. He will never understand the capacity of love I hold for him.  

"What are you thinking about?" Harry asks

"Nothing" I laugh a little knowing that, there were many things running through my mind in that moment. 

Especially baby names. 

When I was released home Harry had hardly left my side. He had pretty much vowed to never let me leave his side and he was starting to become a bother. I of course wouldn't tell him that because he was just being an overattentive husband. Per usual. 

"Harry leave me be. I'm trying to read" I muttered flipping through another book. I had caught up on a lot of reading since I had been home from work. Harry had finally convinced me to just work from home instead of going in. Of course we had our usual argument about me working at all but I shut him up eventually.

"I know I know but I'm just trying to make sure you're comfortable" He says laying his head in my lap. I look down at him and think about leaning down to kiss him but my spine is still healing. 

"I want a kiss" I mumble

He nods leaning up gently placing his lips to mine. "If I ever get my hands on Jack..." 

"Shh" He had been expressing so much anger towards Jack and I understood why but I didn't want to keep hearing about him. I just wanted the terrible memory to fade into the dark. I hated thinking about it.

Harry shakes his head at me placing a soft kiss to my stomach. I smile a little looking down at my husband lying in my lap. "You're sure about this baby thing still?" He asks and I hit him on the top of the head. "Ow! What was that for?" 

"We've both already agreed to take the child as our own. Stop trying to rethink it" 

"I'm not rethinking it. I'm just making sure this is what you want" He says looking at me with his dark green eyes. I smile shaking my head at him. 

"This is everything that I've ever dreamed of"