Harmless Things (Jean Hobbs AU)

Part thirty-four

Dean P.O.V.

“Ready?”

“I think so,” I took a deep breath. “Are you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Should we do this?”

“Only if you want to, you don’t sound too certain.”

“I’ll be fine, just a little nervous, I guess.”

I was sitting on the stairs next to Jack whose thumb was doing circular motions on my hand as he held it as we stared at the front door of my house that hid us away from a world that potentially might not accept us for who we were.

“I’m tired of having to hide it from everyone, Dean,” Jack said quietly the night before. “Why should we have to? It’s nothing to be ashamed of and it’s not like we’re hurting anyone.”

Jack had brought up the idea to go into town and act like a couple which didn’t sound so bad at first, but it would be the first time we would be out in broad daylight in public in our town showing we were together. It was what had happened to me and Jack in school that scared me. What if everyone had the same opinions and looked down on us as much they did?

“Who cares if someone we know sees us? They already know and what would they do in town?” He went on. “I want to show you off, you know?”

“Show me off? I’m hardly anything spectacular,” I laughed.

“You wouldn’t, but I think you’re amazing. I just want to show everyone you’re mine and the kind of relationship we have, and to get people to be jealous of us. I don’t want to hide anymore, I’ve done that for far too long,” he concluded.

I got more fidgety as time went on, the suspense of not knowing was killing me.

 “Let’s just go while Scarlett’s sleeping, we need some air,” we got up and I took another breath to try and steady the nerves because honestly, I didn’t know what to expect.

I hesitated just for a split second before opening the door and all suddenly seemed such a blur until my focus crawled out of my hazy thoughts and I noticed we were down the street, linked hands swinging a little in between us. I grew a little more confident with every street we walked, but it all came crashing down when we were about to walk pass the first person we had seen.

He must’ve been mid-twenties, the dirt on his trousers saying that he must be a painter or a builder. Wearing a white short sleeved t-shirt topped with a body warmer, he walked past us without so much a second glance and I let go of the breath I didn’t even realise I was holding.

“What were we worried about again?” I asked and Jack laughed a little.

“I have no idea.”

The walk to town took a while, and I forgot my worries until we got there. Looking back, our date at the theme park let us test the waters, but no one cared there because it wasn’t about judging others, it was more about just enjoying yourself.

In town it was different. People had things to do but still were able to look at strangers and gather opinions based on what they looked like, what they were doing, who they were with. I hadn’t seen openly gay couples in town before, so it was nerve-wrecking and terrifying and I felt vulnerable, putting myself out like I was where anyone could say anything.

“You’re shaking,” Jack told me, giving my hand a squeeze. “Try not to panic and remember that I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

I couldn’t quite understand how Jack could be so reassuring and calm with the whole thing when his own family attacked and kicked him onto the streets when he came out the night before. Last night he was all shaken up and every now and then would out of nowhere would burst into tears and it would take ages trying to calm him down again.