Harmless Things (Jean Hobbs AU)

Part thirteen

Jack P.O.V.

If you told me last month that today I'd be questioning my sexuality and wondering if I was developing feelings for a new friend, I would've laughed in your face and told you were being ridiculous and there was no way in hell that was possible. But now it was Friday and I was staring down at my last entry in journal that I had been too scared to look at again since I wrote it on Monday, waiting for Dean to come round.

Could I really be falling in love?

But not just that, could I really be falling in love with a boy?

All week, I had answered these questions with a stern 'no' and tried steering my attention to the girl who sat at the front in my English class, but they would always come back, pushing themselves back to the front of my head, like they were marked with 'high importance' and they wouldn't leave until I answered them correctly. But I didn't know. I didn't know what falling in love was like, I had barely 14 years of experience behind me, and I thought all the love business was supposed to be your worries when you were older. But thinking something and knowing something were two different things, right? So technically if I thought I was falling in love, it didn't mean I was certain, and it could be something completely different, right?

Something told me I was just doing whatever I could to avoid the truth, and a tiny part of me agreed with that, but I wondered if my confusion just wanted an answer. But not just any answer, the right answer. I sighed and gave up, starting to get ready for Dean coming over. I quickly changed out of my uniform and put on some more comfy clothes before starting to tidy my room, but more importantly, stuffed my journal behind the chest of drawers next to my bed so that there was no chance of Dean finding it.

Not before long, I heard the doorbell ring which was the sound I had been dying to hear, and I waited a few moments before answering the door so I didn't seem too eager. Dean looked pale like he was ill and I wondered if he was feeling like he did on Wednesday.

"You look terrible," I told him and he glared.

"Thanks Jack, I'm positively flattered."

"Anytime. Come in then," I stepped aside and he walked past me and stood by the stairs, waiting for confirmation to go up. "Not yet, we need to get some stuff like last time," I took his hand and pulled him into the kitchen. I let him go as I opened the fridge, handing him bottles of two litre fizzy drinks and then grabbing glasses.

"You think I'm going to be drinking from a glass, Jack?"

"You're going to drink from the bottles?"

"We're not all as posh as you are."

"Are you sure you can even hold a two litre bottle, Dean?" The look of his face told me that if he wasn't holding the bottles he would've hit me and I ran past him, going to the stairs.

"You're a dead man walking, Jack Howard!" He chased me upstairs, the weight he was carrying making him a bit slower.

"Aww, you wouldn't really kill me, Deanykins!" I met him by the doorframe of my room, taking the bottles from him and seeing the blush that was creeping up on his face.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positive," I put the bottles on the floor by the sofa and looked back at Dean. "You can put your bag on the bed... or the floor... or the sofa... I don't really care."

"O-kay," he dropped it on the bed and looked around the room, scratching the back of his neck.

"Dean?"

"What?"

"Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be? And don't I owe you a Mario Kart rematch?"