The Nerd's Personal Bad Boy

Self introduction

Hey, yeah am Claudia Wylls. well um.. so fine weather eh? 

uh so turtlescanbreathethroughtheirbutts.

Hi everyone, I'm Claudia Jean Wylls, 16 and a complete disaster. I swear I am far off from being normal, even dad has that permanent disappointed emotion plastered on his face when it comes to me.

I've got a younger brother, his name's Casimir John Wylls he's 12 and unlike me. He is simply adored by many. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, home room teachers, my parents, and even the hobos down the streets.

He has this blazing charisma that no one can simply reject. Him being the ideal child is a complete understatement. I bet he can persuade the prime minister into buying him truck loads of nutella while I on the other hand will be tied on top of the hood of a police car whilst being continuosly smacked by the wind shield wipers in the process.

I really try to be likeable, I swear. I even plucked up the courage to be the leader during thanksgiving. and if you're wondering what the leader does, it's in our family tradition that every year during thanksgiving, there has to be a leader, the leader says the opening and closing prayers, lights the candles on the table, and carve the turkey. 

Well, it didn't end up pretty.

I was lighting the candles carefully, my Uncle Jeremy put a thin layer oil on top of the turkey, it was really gross, I mean seriously? but it was nothing new, everybody knew Uncle Jeremy was a little 'off '. So yeah, I was determined not to get into disastrous proportions, as I flick the lighter once again to light the last candle, I held it in the wrong angle and burnt my thumb. I hastily let it go and accidentally knocked the candle in the process. It fell to the turkey and the turkey burst into flames. 

My eyes were as wide as saucers and my feet were glued to the floor. The children ran away, their cries very audible, a series of clashing of glass were also heard. My cousins have sprinted to the gardening hose outside and aunt Georgia phoned the fire station. I thought of the fire extinguisher but remembered it was all used up when my toothbrush caught on fire...4 times. That's another story. 

Water. yes water!

There was no time to go to the kitchen, the house is newly renovated and the faucet hasn't been installed yet. I saw a glass of water from my peripheral vision, without looking I grabbed it and spilled its contents onto the charcoal black turkey.

Next thing I knew my Aunt Marge had a pair of dentures strapped on the bridge of her nose.

horror crept into me, that glass contained grandmum's teeth. 

Aunt Marge was fuming, and possibly much more than the turkey.

She refused to ever see me again. 

see how hopeless I am? If I go on my spit would probably run out.

Well, until next time. 

Claudia J.W.

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Not much changes here! :)

Edited: 01.18.15

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