We Who Are Jaded

Chapter Twenty Five

I walked cautiously up the path, aware that the devil was both before me and behind me. There was no move I felt able to make without it being analysed.

Or was it my paranoia that was to blame? 

On the face of it, nothing was out of place about Grace Penny Care Home making it arguably the most unchanged thing in my life. And yet there was something that was very much wrong, a warning chill in the atmosphere that unsettled my reasoning.

How did we become so paranoid, Evans? 

I rested my hand on the banister, casting uncertain eyes on the porch.

"What is wrong with me?" I lent on the banister and clawed at my eyes, hardly caring I felt Anya's inquisitive glare on my back. This was a cowardly hesitation in fear of what might be awaiting me.

"Come on Evans, suck it up." I climbed the front stairs and opened the front door.

Nurses bustled passed me, almost jostling me off my feet. Was this what I'd sensed, the unusual surge of energy and purpose in the nursing staff? What could this be a consequence of? Did I really want to know?

Amid of all the chaos I saw a familiar face.,timid face. Ruth was lost in a sea of professional and neglectful nurses. She held bed-sheets in her arms, her eyes darting from face to face in the shifting tide of blue uniforms.  An agitated nurse took the sheets from Ruth's arms and gave her a disapproving scowl before marching off up the stairs. I saw Ruth's bottom lip tremble but she held firm and refused to cry. 

Having tolerated the situation enough I fought my way over, not caring that I roughly tousled a nurse in the process. Ruth spied me and the glaze of tears disappeared.

"Thank goodness, a friendly face," she gasped, her hand latching to my arm.

"What's going on?" I asked without sparing time for introductions, petrified the flurry was an indication of my father's health. 

"A new arrival. Cathy usually organises this and since she's still away so the whole house is in pandemonium." 

Thank the Lord that was all. The relief gave me chance focus momentarily on the injustice of the situation. 

"Still, that's no excuse for them to knock you about."

"It's alright, you kind of get used to it." Ruth shrugged while acknowledging another reproving stare. She bit her trembling lip and stared and with watery grey eyes.

"You need to stand up to them. You don't earn their respect here, you take it," I urged. She nodded unconvincingly. "We'll work on that," I promised, shifting my gaze the stairs and beyond.

"He's been OK by the way," Ruth inclined her head in the direction of my attentions. "He hasn't slept or eaten much which has made him weak but he's still coherent...even if a little unsettled."

"No suicide attempts?" I questioned. Ruth played with her fingers.

"Well no, he hasn't got any sort of...tools," she almost threw the word up. "We've locked his windows and been with him everywhere he's gone for the most part. In the last couple of days it's been too difficult for him to even think, let alone breathe without a nurse knowing about it."

Well even if treating him like a high security prisoner seemed a little extreme, I couldn't fault their care.

"Has it really only been a couple of days since I've been here?" Time had become so fluid, never allowing for respite. I needed a holiday and a long one at that free of both red and indigo eyed creatures.