We Who Are Jaded

Chapter Thirty Seven

It was Tuesday, approximately five thirty pm and like any teenager, I was eating cereal on the sofa watching reruns of a sit-com in my jammies and dressing gown.

I was pretending to be normal while my friends were out judging the suicidal.

Mum and Ross were getting ready to go out for their anniversary dinner and I was preparing myself to babysit Jackson, far too big a child to be sitting on these days.

"What dress Chris, the black or the purple?" Mum held two different dresses in my face despite the fact I know she'd bought one especially for the occasion. No, this was all for show, Mum finding an excuse to make a fuss. But she and Ross hadn't been out for a date in a long time and I couldn't see the harm in indulging her if it meant settling her nerves.

"You always look lovely in the black Mum." Her nose wrinkled in dissatisfaction.

"Mmm I don't know, I mean I've worn it so many times and I bought the purple one especially for tonight." She weighed the dressed hangers in her hands and thought...not very hard of course, her decision already made.

"Then wear the purple one Mum, it is a beautiful dress after all. I'm sure you'll look fabulous in it," I said, flipping the TV channel.

"You're right. I'll wear the purple one." With a flourish of purple fabric Mum disappeared to get changed. I rolled my eyes, sinking further into the sofa. I took the cushion from behind my back and hugged it to my tummy, secretly wishing I was the one debating what to wear and suppressing the butterflies and well scrubbed up man and a pretty dress could bring.

Next Ross strolled into the living room, looking dashing and young in his suit and clean shaven face. He was the kind of handsome Beth would have flirted with, knowing full well it would have grossed me out. He looked at gingerly and tense body language. However, upon seeing my face his whole stance changed and he grinned, a twinkle in his eye.

"Your Mum did the dress thing didn't she?"

"Bingo," I retorted, suppressing a smirk myself.

"She wanted the purple dress right?"

"Two for two Ross." I flipped the channel again, finding it difficult to invest in anything when I knew Jackson would get the TV from the time our parent left until his bedtime.

"Could you give me a hand with my cufflinks Chris?" asked Ross. I regarded him, the memory of doing so when I had once tried to avoid Kieran coming to mine. Back then things had been so full of uncertainty too but things were different now, the stakes killing ever higher.

Seeing my apprehension, even if not understanding it, Ross got to his knees so I wouldn't have to move from the sofa. Ross was wearing his father's old cufflinks, a mark of the importance of the occasion. With steady fingers I fastened them and brushed down his dress shirt.

"How do I look?" Ross got to his feet and slipped his arms through his dinner jacket.

"Like a fancy penguin." Ross slipped his bearlike hands into his pockets and scowled.

"I think I'll take that as a compliment, you've said far worse things to me in our time together." Ross smiled at me with a fondness that warmed my heart more than I would have cared to admit.

"Well maybe I've just come to realise how much I like having you around." I blushed and ignored the admiring way that Ross was looking at me. Instead, I turned up the volume on the TV, something having finally caught my interest.

"We have some breaking news, just in," the newscaster said. "In an attempt to seize the attention of the Pakistani Government following the rigging of last week's election there has been multiple suicide bombings and violent protests in the capital of Islamabad. The first in the series of attacks occurred a mile away from the cities Supreme Court followed by a second attack at the Margalla Railway Station a further six miles away from the official government building. The number of casualties isn't yet known but citizens have been told to stay indoors."